I'd die for you - A Battle of Hogwarts love story ✅

Chapter 17

When I rounded the screen that was put next to Owen’s bed to give him some privacy, I found him already awake. His eyes were open, and we was staring into space, looking like he didn’t know what to make of the world around him.

‘Hey.’ I said softly, sitting down in the chair next to his bed.

He blinked and looked my way. The moment his eyes met mine, his face lit up and he opened his mouth to say something. I beat him at that. There were some things I needed to say to him.

‘They told you what’s wrong with you?’ I asked him.

He shook his head. ‘No one had the guts, I guess.’

‘The guts?’ I asked, laughing in spite of everything.

‘Yeah, I must be pretty bad, right?’ he asked me. ‘You know what’s wrong with me?’

‘I do.’ I said, tears already trying to come to surface. ‘You want me to tell you?’

He smiled tentatively and held out his hand. ‘I do. But would you mind holding my hand? I’ve been so out of it I can’t be sure you’re really sitting here if I can’t feel you.’

I almost asked him if he still loved me, but that didn’t seem like a good idea to me. He deserved to know everything first. So I took his hand in mine and squeezed. He smiled more genuinely now.

‘All right, tell me all about it.’ he said, more at easy. ‘I promise I won’t cry.’

I cracked a smile at his attempt at cheering me up, but it wasn’t going to help. He seemed to pick up my mood now, his eyes clouding with worry. I smiled bravely and swallowed deeply. I had to tell him and face the facts. There was no way around it.

‘Is it that bad?’ he whispered. ‘Or are you looking so sad because of something else? You are fine, aren’t you?’

‘I’m fine.’ I said, trying to sound reassuring but failing horribly. ‘It’s not... that bad... It’s just – well, just listen, I will tell you.’ I took a deep breath. ‘Well, you are scarred, but we all are, so don’t worry about that. And... you won’t be able to stand or walk for more than two hours in a row for the next month. You’ll get training to get over that, and you’ll be just as endurable as before.’

‘That sounds good.’ Owen said, smiling feebly. ‘But there’s more, isn’t there?’

I nodded. ‘A part of your brain got damaged.’ I swallowed again.

‘Oh. And what does that mean for me?’ he asked softly.

‘That you... you might not feel attracted to anyone anymore.’ I spit out. ‘At all.’

We looked at each other for a while, our faces serious and contemplating. He looked slightly worried, a bit sad and a hell of a lot confused. I felt mostly sad and guilty. I couldn’t stand the fact that I was about to lose him, but there was no way I could drag this out any longer.

‘I-’ he started, looking embarrassed. ‘I won’t be able to have sex anymore?’

‘No, that’s not-’ I started to say, but he didn’t let me finish.

‘I understand it if you don’t want to be with me anymore, Marie.’ he said, his eyes watery. ‘We’re both young, and if I won’t be able to have sex with you... Well, I understand.’

‘You’re crazy.’ I said, my eyes popping out of my head. ‘I am not leaving you! Besides, you can have sex, all right. That’s not the problem.’

‘It isn’t?’ he asked, suddenly more hopeful.

‘No – and as if I would leave you because of something like that! I thought you knew me better than to think I’d leave you just because... No, I’m not going anywhere.’ A thought suddenly struck me. ‘Unless you want me to...’