Jake's pov
I decided to go to Tara and Johnnie's dorm and knocked on the door. No answer. "Johnnie, Tara, you in there?" I asked. No answer. I sighed as I sat down and banged my head on their door. Why do I feel like when I push Johnnie away or he isn't around, I feel a part of me is missing that only he can fill. I hate him so much, but never as much as I miss him. God fucking dammit. I took out my phone and gave Johnnie a call. I waited a few seconds before he hung up on me. Shit. I tried to call Tara and surprisingly, she answered.
(the call)
Tara: "What the fuck do you want?"
Jake: "Where is Johnnie?"
Tara: "Haven't you done enough? Stay away from Johnnie. He deserves better than some jerk like you."
Jake: "Just tell me, where is he?"
Tara: "Fine, you wanna know where he is? HES IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. And why you may ask? I'm 99% sure it's because of you. He attempted to kill himself. Now never ever fucking dare to call me ever again."
-Tara ended the call-
Am I dreaming? No way he actually attempted.. right? Fuck, this is all my fault isn't it. I ran to our dorm and cried while laying on johnnie's bed. I'm such an idiot. Additionally, my fans are starting to wonder why I haven't made a video with Johnnie for so long. I stayed in our dorm for the next couple of days, wishing Johnnie would come back.
-When Johnnie could finally leave the hospital-
Johnnie's pov
It felt like eternity before they finally let me leave the hospital. "Make sure you don't leave anything behind okay? Let's go, I'll drive us back to our dorm-" "I'm dropping out." Tara froze and turned around to look at me, "..what? Y-you're joking.. right?" she asked. I shook my head, "I'll probably just buy myself a small apartment near our school and spend more time on making Youtube videos, I don't know. But I'm not going back to school, I'm sorry," Tara looked down and nodded. "I'll follow you to drop off the withdrawal request form," she said, forcing a smile. I told her that she'd be okay without me and could visit me anytime. She nodded and hugged me tightly like it was the last time she'd ever see me. We went back to school and I stayed at Tara's dorm for the night.
At around 2:40am, I still couldn't sleep and just got up and decided to go for a walk. I quietly left as I wore my earpiece and listened to a playlist Jake and I made last time. I was walking down the hallway when I walked past me and Jake's dorm. I stopped and put my ear against the wall. Somebody was.. crying?
Jake's pov
I quickly wiped my tears and tried my best to stay quiet as I heard footsteps approaching and whoever it was was standing right infront of the door. I tried to quietly but quickly hide in the toilet when the door opened and there he was. His majestic face, same old ocean blue eyes staring into my soul. I got lost in his eyes as we stood rooted to the ground for a good couple of minutes, not knowing what to do. "I should probably leave-" "no wait um, please stay, I heard what you did and I wanted to apologise for everything I've done. I'm sorry. You don't have to forgive me, but Tara told me that the reason you attempted was because of me and even if it is or isn't true., I'm really sorry for everything I've put you through-" "let's just talk tomorrow okay? Go wash your face and sleep soon," he said as he quickly left and ran away. I sighed as I went to go wash my face. I sniffled as I went to the window and lit a cigarette, looking at the stars and zoning out. I snapped back to reality a few minutes later when I got the notification that Johnnie was live. I decided to join.
(The live)
Johnnie: hello everyone hope you're all doing well today. I won't be doing much as this live stream is just gonna be for like a few minutes or so. So, a lot of you are asking where I've been, why I haven't been posting and where's Jake and so on. I haven't been posting lately cause I'm just busy with personal stuff and Jake is just.. really busy and stuff like that.
Most of the stream was just him smoking and explaining why he has been so inactive lately. His eyes were puffy and red and looked really burnt out. I could tell he was in the verge of tears. I wish I could do something but if anything, I'd probably be the last person he wanted to see, ever. Soon, he ended the stream. I watched him from afar as he smoked a joint.
Johnnie's pov
Roll, smoke, repeat. I bought more marijuana and was intending to save it but honestly, fuck it. I thought about what Jake said as I rolled a joint. Does he really mean his "sorry" this time? Or is he just going to be mean to me like nothing happen again the next day? Just then, the principal came up to me and I hid my joint. I talked to him for awhile as he asked me how I was doing and so on. "I actually wanted to hand in my withdrawal request form, I'm dropping out." He stared at me in shock as I handed the paper to him. "Oh um.. I wasn't expecting that.." he said as he read the paper. "Well, I'll give you an answer tomorrow. Go back to bed now, it's late," he said. I nodded and went back to Tara's dorm.
Word count: 994
