-a few days later after Johnnie dropped out and bought a apartment nearby-
Johnnie's pov
"Thanks again for helping me unpack" I said as I handed a bottle of water to Tara. "No problem, I'll be sure to visit you as much as I can okay?" She said as we both sat on the floor. We hung around my house for the rest of the day.
Jake's pov
I heard Johnnie dropped out of school. I don't know why I miss him. "Babe, babeee? Are you even listening?" Diana asked as she snapped her fingers in my face. I snapped back to reality, "Oh um yeah sorry, just that I don't know why, I kinda miss Johnnie." Diana rolled her eyes, "I thought we agreed to forget about him. You don't need him, all you need is me, remember? Why worry about that emo freak when you have me?" She complained in an annoyed voice as she pointed at herself. I smiled, "yeah, you're right. Sorry." Truth was, Johnnie was the only thing on my mind. I can't believe that first he attempted to kill himself, next he drops out and it's probably because of me. No matter how hard I try to get him off my mind, everything just reminds me of him. Fuck.
-at night-
I laid in bed, tired. I just came back from making my music video with Diana. I opened Instagram and posted saying that my new song would be released soon and to presave it. I turned off my phone and put it away as Diana crawled into bed with me. She cuddled with me while kissing me all over. I giggled as I soon fell asleep. Over the next few days, I started to smoke more and also tried marijuana. I've been getting high almost everyday to distract myself from thinking about Johnnie. Sometimes when Diana is out and not sleeping in our dorm, I would go to me and Johnnie's dorm, try to find anything. Anything at all that belonged to him. Just something. Anything. No matter how hard I searched, there was nothing. I would sometimes cry in his bed, buying his cologne and spraying it all around the room so his scent would still be around. No matter what I did, it'd never be the same despite my efforts. Lots of hairspray and cologne, and the body wash he used smelled amazing. It felt like home. Something I could never recreate. I'd do anything just to see him once more. But I knew I couldn't. It was for the best. He deserved better. I have tried to text and call him late at night when I really needed him but he never answered and would leave me on read. I don't blame him, but it hurts. But eventually, I stopped.
-a few years passed and its graduation day-
"I can't believe we just graduated!! Should we move in together??" Diana asked excitedly. "Actually, that sounds like a bad idea.." I said. Diana's face went dead serious and stared into my soul, "If you don't love me, just say so. Don't waste my time." "Wait no that isn't what I meant-" "Save it, I didn't love you anyways. At first, I actually liked you but honestly, you're a really annoying guy. I just stayed with you cause you're famous and have money and spoil me." I watched her leave as our taxi arrived, my heart shattering into what felt like millions of pieces. I stood frozen to the ground in shock. Did she really just break up with me? Just like that? All those years, the memories we made, the time we spent with each other, all down the drain, just like that? I went to sit in my car and cried for what felt like forever. I loved her so much, but all along she was just using me for my money and fame? I cried until my eyes hurt and it would sting every time I blinked. I drove myself home and cried all the way, almost crashing on the way. When I finally reached my house, I fell to my knees and cried non stop. Fuck it, I thought as I went to go get some alcohol. A few shots wouldn't hurt.. right? Next thing I knew, I was wasted as fuck, crying on my kitchen floor. I got so drunk and just passed out later that night. Ever since that day, I've been posting lesser as I usually make videos with others but now it was just me. Even after I got over Diana, a part of me still missed Johnnie for some reason. I just couldn't explain it.
One day, I was scrolling on my fyp when I came across Johnnie's account. He was live.
Johnnie: "hey guys hope you're doing well. How is everyone today? Also if you don't know I'm having a concert at ****** so go get your tickets now before they sell out and I also have new jewelry at NTIO(never take it off) so be sure to check that out as well"
He then got his guitar and started playing some songs. I knew it was wrong, but I joined his live. I still kind of miss him. Without him, there'll always be a part of me that's missing. He's my other half, platonically. I just know it. I was debating whether or not to go to his concert, see him again. Fuck it. I bought front row tickets so I could meet him after the concert. I knew it was a bad idea, but I didn't care. I just have to see him again. I have to. Would he be mad to see me there? Or annoyed? Or happy? My mind flooded with thoughts as I zoned out while watching his live.
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