Hymn of the Gods

Chapter 1 - You Are The Hole In My Head

Author's Note: This is a gift for Overgirl69 on ao3. Sorry for taking so long to do this fic!!! I hope that you enjoy how it turned out! :D

This is for the SW Big Bang! Many thanks to Flipz for beta reading this fic!!! And the art for the front cover was drawn by Seo. <3

~ Amina Gila

Grief is not a strong enough word to define what he's feeling. It's something stronger, so much more visceral and overpowering.

Anakin does not think he will ever recover from this. He does not think he ever can recover from this. Because Ahsoka is dead. She died on Mortis, killed by the Son. He felt their bond shatter, held her body in his arms, and he knew he failed. He failed her the way he failed his mother, except it's somehow worse, so much worse. It hurts more than it did when his mom died. Maybe it's because Ahsoka was his to care for and protect and he failed her.

He failed her.

The Father kept her body there for reasons Anakin does not understand or care to, but it hadn't really mattered. Putting her to rest in the Daughter's part of the planet, amidst the greenery and life, had been the hardest thing Anakin ever did, but he knew it was the place for her. Ahsoka should not have died, but she did, and it only seemed fitting for her to remain in a place so Light, free of war and conflict. It's everything Anakin wanted to give her when she was alive, but he was unable to do so because of the war.

The clones, his boys, they don't blame him for her death. Anakin thinks they should, wishes they would. He would feel better if they did. This was his fault. It was his duty to protect Ahsoka, and he failed her. He failed her, and she's dead because of it. She's not coming back.

It still doesn't seem real.

Some days, he wakes up thinking that she's still there, and the pain is just as sharp and agonizing as the moment when she died.

Obi-Wan tries to help, but... Well, Anakin is grateful to him for being there, for trying to help, but truly, there's nothing he can do, nothing at all. He can't bring Ahsoka back. The most he can do is be a support to him and help distract him from the grimness of reality. It works. Sometimes. Often it doesn't, but Anakin is still grateful that he's willing to at least try.

***

Ahsoka gasps in a breath as her eyes fly open. Something is different. The Force feels different. What – what happened? The last thing she remembers...

She looks around, frantically, her head thumping back against the ground when she recognizes the Father's monastery. She tries to speak, but only a croak comes out, and she coughs, rubbing her temple. The Son took her, and he did something to her, but it's all... blurry, hazy. There was a sudden cold, a rush of nothing, and then...

And then, she woke up here.

"Ah, you are awake." It's the Father, his voice echoing oddly in a way that can't be missed.

"What – happened?" she whispers finally, pushing herself upright, a strange feeling crawling over her skin. "Where – where's Anakin?"

The Father's expression never changes. "They are gone, daughter, back to their world."

"No!" Ahsoka denies hotly, fists clenching. "They wouldn't!" Because she knows Anakin, and she knows that he would never leave her behind without so much as a goodbye. Never. He wouldn't leave her for anything.

"Only the Son and Daughter together, can ensure the balance is kept," the Father replies, "And with my daughter dying, the balance was broken. Ruin and destruction would have followed as my son grew in strength without his sister to keep him in check. I knew of only one way to restore the balance."