I've Had Years of Regret... But Never You

Don't Worry

Leon was walking around Henri’s nursery shushing him as the baby hollered his lungs out. “Oh shush shush…” Leon had him cupped into his chest and he was gently rubbing his back. Sergio had heard him crying and he came into the room.

“He okay Mama?” 

Leon shook his head. “He’s feeling under the weather this morning, I think he has a cold. Can you get me a thermometer?

Sergio nodded and he went to the bathroom and he grabbed the one that can be pressed across his forehead. As fussy as he was right now Sergio didn’t think he’d sit still enough to hold a thermometer in his mouth. The teen came back into the room and helped Leon take his temperature. It was 100.1.

“Shit…”

“Get me a washcloth. Very cold, wet. Stick it in the freezer for 2 minutes and then bring it to me along with the children’s medicine. Pink one.” Leon gave those instructions as he continued to sway a fussy little Henri. Sergio rushed immediately down stairs to get those items.

Henri cried as he rubbed his face frustratedly on Leon’s chest. “...M-Mommy…” He whined. “...no f…feel good…!”

Leon looked sadly. He'd take it away from him if he could. “Oh my love… I know. It’s okay baby. Mommy is going to get you all better.” He looked down at Henri and kissed his little chubby cheeks and wiped some tears and snot away. Just as Sergio came back into the room Claudio was peeking around the corner.

“What’s wrong with Henri?” Claudio asked.

“He’s just feeling sick, baby. He’ll be okay.”

Leon looked at the clock. 3 am. “Go back to bed baby. Se, can you take him back to bed?”

Sergio nodded and while he did that Leon said down in the rocking chair.

The teen led Claudio back to bed and he pulled the covers back.

“Okay, get in kiddo.”

Claudio got into bed and he felt as Sergio tucked him in tightly. “Okay, snug as a bug in a rug.”

Claudio laughed as he felt Sergio tap his nose.

“I’m not a baby anymore.”

Se gasped. “You’re always a baby to me. No matter how old.”

Claudio leaned up and hugged him. “I love you.”

Sergio hugged him back and rubbed his head. “I love you too Claudio.” Claudio layed back down and Sergio covered him up and put his stuffed animal right by him.

“Sese?”

“Hm?”

Claudio was already half asleep.

“You’re going to be a really good Mommy.” He said before drifting off to sleep again.

Sergio’s eyes widened. Sergio leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Thanks kiddo…”

When Sergio walked back in the room he saw his mother rocking a quiet Henri in his arms and he was gently patting his back. Sergio sat on the floor and he looked up at Leon.

“Finally asleep huh?”

“Yeah, finally. After an hour.” Leon sighed. 

“You make it look so easy.”

Leon chuckled. “Don’t let it fool you. This wasn't easy, and I was not as confident as I am now.”

“Really?”

Leon nodded. “When I first had you I was so fucking scared. You were… so little and defenseless… and you were just this little human who depended on us for everything and to protect them… with our work having a child was scary but I- I knew. We knew, we wanted you more than fucking anything. And we had you.”

Sergio looked down. “I’m scared…”

“I know baby… but I have no doubt you’ll be a great mother. You will have our help. And you won’t know how to handle every situation and that’s okay. Parenting is always a learning experience. I have six of you and sometimes I am still at a loss with how to handle certain things.”

“Seriously?” 

Leon nods. “It never stops. Even once they turn eighteen, you’re still parenting.”

Sergio laughed a bit. “Guess I shouldn’t be so hard on myself then.”

“You shouldn’t. Everything will be fine. And tomorrow after your appointment then we can go tell Lee Yeon together, or you can do it on your own and we will wait for you in the car. Whatever you want to do or feel is best.”

“Is it okay if you guys wait in the car? I… I want to tell him on my own.”

“Sure baby, we will wait in the car then.”

Sergio saw as Leon slowly lifted up and he walked over to the crib and nearly put himself in it gently laying Henri down. Leon patted him a minute longer before slowly pulling his hand back.

“Why didn’t you just move your arms?”

Leon helped Sergio up.

“Oh you have much to learn. If I would have moved my arms Henri definitely would have woken up. You helped me learn.”

“How?”

“Any sudden movement woke you up as a baby so I have to treat you guys like a bomb ready to explode if not you guys will wake up too easily.”

Sergio laughed softly as Leon and him left the room and Leon cracked the door.

“Sounds like I gave you the blues.”

“More like good practice.” Leon kissed his cheek and hugged him. “Now go back to sleep, hm? Leon said brushing his son’s hair back. “Thank you for helping me with your brother. I love you.”

“Love you too, and you’re welcome.”

Leon smiled and he started walking to the room.

“Mom?”

Leon stopped and turned around.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for supporting me, and just so you know… you were scared for nothing. You’re a phenomenal mother..”

Leon looked surprised for a moment and that truly warmed his heart and made it soar with pride. “Thank you baby and of course. I always have your back no matter what.”

“I know. Good night Mama.”

“Good night baby.”

To Be Continued…