loving the way you breathe

part -5 tensed and relaxed

Shin just dropped his bag on floor when his phone buzzed .

K:did you reach home alright?

S:yeah !

   Shin thought getting busy with his work and work load from last two leaves will take over his head but he was wrong. No amount of work was able to organise his messy head that was filled with just two opposite visuals one was kazama drenched in water his wet shirt and his wet hair and other was his sad eyes when he convinced shin about how ok he is with this whole completely messed up situation . 
Never in there forever friendship has shin ever doubted kazama's words more than this . Kazama was the most honest and righteous person shin has ever seen he could doubt himself but not kazama but something doesn't feel right he doesn't think everything's gonna remain same and this mere thought is scaring him but he decided to not call kazama not disturb him more than he already has.

One thing he is very sure of is that kazama is not feeling very good and he is probably fighting with his feelings right now . And he might be crying there's no way shin would wanna make it worse .
        
               ..........................

Kazama puts the phone away after asking shin if he reached alright .The thing that he went through last night should bother him but instead he feels at ease , he would have never been able to tell shin by himself and he have decided to take it to his grave but things didn't go as planned and they were better this way afterall he was able to take it all out .

Now he has a clear answer he knows that shin will not return his feelings and most importantly it feels light that now he's not the only one who suffers now shin knows it and he didn't overreacted .
Ofcourse he never would have imagined shin to return his feelings but atleast shin is still his friend he know that he is not gonna lose him. 
He always knew that shin is not narrow minded but somehow didn't imagine things to go this easy .
Ofcourse the ache in his heart is unbearable ,a hope that he thought he never had shattered but still he is kind of satisfied .

A week later.....

The whole group having a dinner at a local diner on the occasion of masao's promotion.

"Here masao mom sent some gifts and congrats from me too" said nene giving a paper bag to masao.

"Nene,why does your mom like masao that much anyways "says kazama teasing nene .

"I have no idea " nene replied.

"she wants to bribe masao because she thinks masao is so perfect for her dear daughter" bo teased too .

" also she doesn't want shin to end up with her daughter at any costs " said kazama laughing, trying to involve shin in the conversation.

Everyone laughs and looks at shin who was a bit out of it .he wasn't in a good shape ,he had dark circles and was awfully quite which was so not him.and it was bothering everyone including kazama .

"Shin?"nene tried to grab his attention when he didn't make a movement.

"Yeah right!"

"Why do you look like a zombie" nene asked shin making an unpleasant face

"I'm alright "shin laughs awkwardly .

"when was the last time you slept ? Did you get kazama's fever or something?" Nene caught something awkward between them specially from shin's side afterall shin wasn't seated right beside kazama today like every other time .

"I.... " Shin tries to speak something than takes a glance towards kazama and looks back at nene "am alright it's just i have been busy work's tough" and completes his sentence.

There's no way shin can tell everyone that a carefree person like him haven't slept in a week and just because these two thoughts stupid stupid thoughts aren't leaving his head .

"I'll come back in a minute " shin gets up . He needed to clear his head ,he wasn't in his right mind it's messy his head rarely gets messy unlike every other thing around him.

Kazama follows shin as he leaves table ,he needed to know what's going on.

"Work doesn't bother you , you enjoy it like vacation "said kazama from behind once they were out the diner.

"I'm alright" shin smiles and replied. That smile was so dark compared to shin's usual smiles which brightens the room.

"Doesn't look like it " kazama said walking behind him.
Shin stops and turn around
"What do you think it is " shin asks looking at kazama. Kazama usually us so good at reading shin's expression but this time they were confusing .

"Why are you so relaxed anyway" shin's thoughts slipped away. Why did he said so shouldn't he be glad to see kazama relaxed and normal.

"I shouldn't be?"

"No what i meant to say was you don't like crowds and all and this place is crowdy "Shin found his own words stupid but he couldn't come up with better than that and it's not like he can ask kazama why isn't he bothered about last week and why is it so normal for him to meet shin when it's not the case with him .

"Are you crazy "kazama still couldn't figure out the meaning of the words said by shin.

"Always have been"shin smiled
"Yeah that's right " kazama felt a bit at ease and so does shin looking at kazama smiling .

    Rest of the night went normal shin slowly came at his own pace but he found himself glaring at kazama every now and then but it's normal right he's just listening to his friend like everyone else .

"Can you drop me home ?" Nene asked she wanted to talk to him about something.

Heya people hope you're enjoying