DIVINE

chapter 18

Woo Young's pov:
Every day was a blessing for me since I had her. She was the light that I would seek when I felt like I would loose my mind. She was so perfect in every way.
When I was at work I always thought about her, but today I got distracted. I had to have a little talk with a bastard that tried to get into one of my properties. I have a lot of enemies, a lot of people hate me so I had to be careful. Especially with my girl.

Yes, I followed her sometimes. Okay, fine, often. But that was because I also worry. I have to protect her, and I would do it any moment. I would, with my life. Of course, I also hated people who look at her. Just I know how many I've had in my basement, but that's not important. They looked at what's mine. And I don't share what's mine.

I was currently in my office, getting ready to leave when my phone buzzed on the desk. I picked it up and I saw that Yunho was calling me.
-Yunho.
I said.
-Boss! We have the piece of trash that tried to enter one of your properties. You should've seen how he tried to run away. He is like a mosquito.
He said almost laughing.
-Pathetic. I am coming right now.
I scoffed.
-Okay boss, we are here.
Then I ended the call.
My phone buzzed again and I was so pissed thinking that it was something about that jerk but when I picked it up I saw that it was my Maria.

-Hello, love, is everything alright?
-Hi... Well yeah, It's just... I miss you, I haven't seen you since two days ago. I know you are busy but I was thinking that maybe we can see each other today? I just finished work, I am going home.

I felt like a jerk.How could I not have time for her? I was so busy and angry these two days and that just made me realize I only talked with her in messages or calls, not face to face. I missed her and I felt guilty, that's not how you treat the one you love.

-I am so sorry my love, I was caught up with a sucker that wanted to steal something from me and entered one of my properties. However, that's not a reason for me to not see you. I am sorry,Maria, I am such a terrible boyfriend.

-Don't say that! It's okay, work is stressful...
Her words were reassuring for a second, until she said the last part.
-But it's fine, I mean yeah I feel neglected because If I didn't call you, you probably wouldn't even call me. And I hate it, I absolutely hate it. Whatever, do your dirty job, I gotta go, I have to buy some groceries.

And she hung up.
I was so angry at myself, how could I let it happen? She was the most important thing in my life and she had all of the reasons to be mad at me, but my heart aches. I will make it up to you my love, you will see.

I was currently beating the shit out of the fucker.
I was also loosing my temper because I was mad at myself and the fact that I was angry it didn't help. I eventually killed him, strangling him.
I even tried calling her, she didn't even respond.
I was worried and sad at the same time.

I went back home, feeling more guilty. I shouldn't even go to that sucker, I should've just stayed and went to her. Fuck I am so stupid. I left my men there to clean the mess and I hurried home.

I took a shower, I went to buy chocolate, flowers and plushies and cute stuff like that. My backseat was full of gifts. Something told me that she won't accept that apology though. She asked just for time. I didn't even manage to give her my time. I was driving but the guilt felt so deep inside me that I started tearing up. I can't loose the only person that brings light to my life.

I opened the door and got down from the car, I grabbed the gifts and went to her apartment.

I knocked at the door and waited.
Nothing. Then I heard small footsteps. That just brought a smile to my face.
She opened the door.
-There she is! My cute little angel!
I said.
She looked seriously at me and the gifts, never smiling. Ouch, my heart. What was wrong?

I got inside and she closed the door. I left the gifts on her couch but turned around when she started speaking.
- You shouldn't bring all of these gifts Woo Young.
-I knew you wouldn't accept them.
-Then why did you bring them?
-Because I feel like a jerk and I want to apologize. -Well, I appreciate it but some candies and plushies won't do.
-I can buy you anything you want-
-Woo Young! Why don't you get it?!
She surprised me since she was raising her voice at me. It was the first time she did that.

-I don't need your money, I don't want your dirty money you jerk! I want your time, I want you. And I understand that you are a fucking mafia leader and you are busy probably killing and you are cold and shit like that. But if you want this to work you have to prove I am worthy of it! I try to learn how to express my feelings for you too! Because I love you asshole , yet you don't give a damn about me.
She started tearing up, that's when I knew I fucked up.
I had rage in me, but it was just because I was angry at myself. However what I did next had no reason to be done.

-You know what?!
I started screaming at her.
-Fine! Why did you started going out with me?! Didn't you say that I am a dangerous person?! Well this is who I fucking am. Okay?! Do you even know how worried I am because I always think something can happen to you?! That I have to protect you cause so many stupid people hate me and they would destroy the only thing that matters to me?! Do you know how many I killed just for you?!

I was now unconsciously getting closer to her, making her flinch and back down to the wall.

-What the fuck you mean?...
She asked sniffling.
-What do I mean? I killed the assholes who even dared to look at you.
-W-what...You are a monster, she whispered.

Just now I realized how much I might've scared her. She was crying, glued to the wall.
What the fuck am I doing?

-Shit, Maria, I am sorry, please, I would never lay a finger on you, I could never hurt you-
-You did it already, shut up! Leave!
She said trembling.
She grabbed the plushies and everything and started throwing them at me. But I just stood there. I fucked up. I think I just lost the most important person in my life.

-Leave! I don't want to see you again! Forget about me, leave!
She then sat on the floor, curling up in a blanket, crying.
What have I done? I really am a monster.
-I am sorry...
I whispered before going out.
I got in the car and I felt, for the first time since I was a child, like I wanted to cry. So I let it out. I cried my eyes out. What did I do?
What have I done, my Maria?