Second Chances

Chapter Two

"Wake up Spun, we're nearly there," I hear Jon say as I open my eyes. It turns out that I was tired after all! I look around me at the scenery and all of the memories come flying back. This place hasn't changed!

We turn into the driveway and I see all of the beautiful trees, just like I remember them.

I chance a look at Paul but he's not there. I look around and find him sat opposite Rachel. She's showing him something on her phone and I feel a momentary stab of jealousy. I thought he might be remembering what happened here too, but I'm obviously wrong. I mentally slap myself. I hurt him - why on earth would he want to revisit that?

"Ok Han," I say to myself. "Time to snap out of this. You're here to do a job, not reminisce. Deal with it."

As we pull up at the entrance, I seem to snap out of it and I feel like I'm ready to get going with the reunion tour. We pile off the bus and head inside. It's just like I remember it! Grand paintings line the walls and the large staircase sits on the left-hand side. We go to the main reception and are warmly welcomed by the manager, Jacob. He reminds us that we have the house to ourselves for the duration of our rehearsals and that we have free-reign of all of the equipment. I'm suddenly really excited! In the last 12 years, they've installed an indoor swimming pool, sauna, steam room, jacuzzis...the lot! They've also improved the gym facilities and added a games room. Now I know why we've come back here - it's like a dream!

We're given our room keys and we all head upstairs to get settled in. We're all staying on the first floor while the crew are staying on the second. I get into my room and take a look around. A massive king size bed is the centre-piece, with tall wardrobes and a large en-suite attached. However, the best sight is the one outside the window. As I walk over, I see that my room is overlooking the garden and in the distance, I can just make out the edge of the lake. I decide there and then that that's my first port of call this evening when we've finished work.

A knock at my door breaks me out of my thoughts. Jon's standing there with a smile on his face and I can't help but join him in grinning.
"Just like the old times eh babe?!" He says, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. We walk over to my window and look at the view.
"Oh yeah! Bringing back all the memories. It hasn't changed." I reply.
We fall into a comfortable silence as we watch the gardener cut the grass. Jon starts fiddling with his ring - a sure sign that he's got something he wants to say.
"What is it Jon?" I ask impatiently. He looks at me and smiles.
"You know I'm always here if you want to chat yeah? About anything." I sigh. I know exactly what he's getting at.
"Of course I do Jon. And it works both ways."
"I'll never judge you, or tell anyone else. You're my best mate Han. You can trust me."
I take a deep breath. He's right. Jon's my best mate and I know that I can trust him. I just don't know if I understand how I'm feeling at the moment, let alone whether I'm able to explain it to someone else. I don't want to tell him that though.
"I do trust you Jon," I reply. I take another deep breath. "I guess just being back here, and being with everyone again..." I drift off. "Well, I guess it's just making me think about stuff. The past."
"You mean Paul?" He asks. Blunt.
I look at him and I know there's no point in lying.
"Yeah, I guess. A lot of the memories I have of this place are linked to him," I reason. Secretly I'm quite impressed that I've managed to say my piece without letting my emotions slip.
"I saw you on the bus Han. You still have feelings for him, don't you?" Damn, maybe I wasn't quite as good as I thought!
I focus on the gardener and try to explain my thoughts. "I honestly don't know Jon. I wish I did. Just...being here...It just brings it all back. We had our first kiss here. We slept together for the first time in this house. Out by the lake was the first time that he told me he loved me. I can't just forget all of that. Being here...it's just hard at the moment." I feel the emotion rising up inside me but I'm determined not to cry. "I'll be ok in a couple of days Jon. I just need to focus on making new memories. And this tour will be amazing!"
He looks at me and I know that he understands. He hugs me tight and kisses my hair. Despite being younger than me, he reminds me of my big brother Stu, and he's always looked after me. "It'll be ok Spun, I promise."
Hearing this, my tears are on the verge of falling but I blink my eyes furiously to stop them. I've used enough tears on Paul Cattermole. I won't use any more.

Suddenly there's another knock at the door. I leave Jon to answer it and I'm glad to see it's just the manager with my bag. He nods politely and explains that lunch will be served in half an hour. Result! I didn't realise that I was hungry until he said that! He nods towards me and gives Jon an awkward smile. I can't help but chuckle to myself. Does he think we're together?!
He leaves and Jon heads over to me, squeezing my shoulder.
"I'm gonna go and unpack. Just remember that I'm here if you want to chat about anything. How you're feeling is natural babe." He gives me a kiss on the head and squeezes me tightly. "See you in a little while for lunch ok?"
I smile at him. "Sounds good. See you in a bit."
After another kiss on my head, he heads back to his room, leaving me to deal with my complicated feelings.