Second Chances

Chapter Eleven

As I drift back to consciousness, I hear the sound of Paul's voice. It's a one-way conversation so I assume he's on the phone, but what's confusing me is the sound of his voice. It's almost like he's underwater. Confused, I roll my head from side to side and realisation dawns on me. I'm still lying against him. My head is at the juncture of his shoulder and his neck which is why he sounds muffled. His arm is still around me and I can feel his fingers on my bare skin, lightly tracing a figure of eight on my upper arm. Slightly concerned at what I might find, I try to move my arms to see where they are. I'm horrified to find that in my sleep, I've thrown one over him so that it's resting against his stomach. Fortunately the other one is trapped between us.

"Look I'm gonna have to go mate, but thanks for all that. I'll give you a buzz later ok?" I hear him say before cancelling the call. He must realise that I'm beginning to wake up.
"Hey sleeping beauty," he says softly, continuing to stroke my arm. I twist my body so that I'm looking into his eyes. "How did you sleep?"
I'm suddenly very conscious that I'm practically draping myself over him and I decide to place some distance between us. I think it's for the best. Sitting myself up straight, Paul's arm drops from my shoulder and I momentarily feel bereft. I offer him a weak smile before answering his question.
"Yeah, it was good thanks. I needed it." He looks at me but doesn't reply. "I'm sorry for..." I trail off, indicating with my hands what I mean. Falling asleep curled against him probably wasn't a smart move.
He chuckles softly, "it's not like it's the first time you've used me as a pillow Han. Don't worry about it." I smile back and have the urge to kiss his cheek but I don't know if I can trust myself. Instead I decide on the safer route of asking where we are. Looking out of the window I can see that it's starting to get dark so I'm hoping we're nearly there, and this is confirmed when he tells me we're about half an hour from the hospital.
"I was on the phone to Tim just then," he adds. "He's booked us into a local hotel. I figured it'd be a bit cramped at your Mum and Dad's at the moment. Hope that's ok?"
I nod before looking at his face. Our eyes meet: the deep brown of his meeting the watery blue of my own. "Thank you so much for all of this Paul. You're an amazing friend."
His expression changes slightly, confusion marring his features briefly and when I manage to break his gaze, I realise that my hand has found its way onto his thigh.

Shit! When did that happen?

I manage to pull away before he can think too much of it and we settle into silence until we arrive at Peterborough City Hospital.

---

Darkness has set in by the time we finally pull into the hospital's grounds and looking at my clock I realise that it's just past 9pm. It seems like it was only a couple of hours ago that we were rehearsing. I wish I could turn back the clock. The buzzing of my phone alerts me to a new message from my Mum.

"Hi sweetheart. Sorry we missed your calls - we were at the hospital. Visiting hours are over now though and we've just got home. Tan's out of surgery but heavily sedated. What time should we expect you?"

I sigh deeply, desperate not to cry again. I need to see my sister. I need to make sure she's ok.

"Everything ok?" Paul asks, concern etched on his face. I don't want to risk speaking so I simply show him the text. "They might let you in Han. If you explain."
"I need to see her Paul. I need to see myself that she's ok." I reply desperately trying to hold it together. He knows how close we are.
"I know you do Han. Let's just see what they say yeah?"

When the car stops in front of the main entrance, I take a deep breath before exiting, leaving Paul behind with our belongings. The walk to the reception desk seems never-ending and I try to perfect my speech. I'm desperate to see her. Unfortunately no matter how many times I try to persuade them though, the nurses won't allow it and I have to settle for being told that she's in a stable condition and that I can visit from 10 am tomorrow. I'm devastated. I can't help the tears that escape as I walk back to the car and as soon as I exit the building, I fall apart. Paul and the driver are having a cigarette when I come out but as soon as he sees me, Paul stubs it out and takes me into his arms, pressing a kiss into my hair. I idly notice that this is becoming more frequent, and he's done it on three separate occasions today. When I've calmed down and regained some composure, we get back into the car and head for our hotel. It's only then that I realise I haven't replied to my Mum's text.