Fighting Fate

Chapter 23

 I didn't see Erik for another month after I left him that day. I think everyone around me began to worry about me. I was irritable. I couldn't sleep or eat. I've lost a ton of weight. And not in a good way. I just felt alone. Morgan tried to reassure me that everything was alright. My path was still there. That meant nothing to me. Especially if that path would take me away from Erik.

The French Quarter was about to do its Midsummer Festival. I had a couple of visiting witches staying at my place. I was just trying to be nicer. Lucy, Monique and Davina kept them entertained. I stood in my closet getting dressed for a festival committee meeting when there was a knock on my door. I didn't answer it. Just continued to stare at my body in the mirror. It didn't feel like my body anymore. There was more knocking. Then I heard the door open. There was a voice but it kind of sounded like it was underwater. very muffled. Or maybe I just wasn't listening. That happened sometimes recently. Like I couldn't concentrate.

"Mor!" someone grabbed my arm firmly and I turned to see Bonnie.

"Hey Bons, what are you doing here? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever," I said and weakly tried to put a smile on my face.

"How long have you been like this? Why have you lost so much weight? Why didn't anyone tell me anything? I'm your sister, I should have been here." I shook my head and sat down in the armchair that was in my closet.

"And what would you do? Magic won't fix this."

"I wasn't talking about using magic. Does Erik know you're like this?"

"Does he care?" I asked then deeply sighed and stood. "I have a meeting to get to. I'm sure Lucy and the girls would love to hang with you. I'll be back later."

The meeting went fine. I could feel the pity reaching me. Wave after wave after wave. I even felt it from strangers sometimes. If I could die, I would be dead. Instead I was in a perpetual state of sickness.

After the meeting I headed home to sleep. I'd been tired a lot. I wasn't pregnant. I knew that. It had been so long since I had even had sex. It had been so long even Athena stopped making jokes about it. I crawled into bed next to Mycah. Tears fell down the sides of my eyes and hit the pillow. "Why don't you break the mate bond? Find a new mate." she suggested. I shook my head.

"It's not the same as with Marcel. In my heart, in my soul I know Erik was sent by the gods to be mine. But they give free will too. And he has to choose me. He is mine but I am not his." My world quickly went dark and I fell into a deep sleep.

After the normal amount of hours, I tried to open my eyes but found it impossible. Like I was too tired to do so. So I went back to sleep. I heard knocking but I couldn't wake. Hours later ,I could feel Bonnie's presence. She shook me but I still couldn't open my eyes. I tried to communicate but all that came out were incoherent mumbles. "What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong." I mumbled more. I didn't know what was wrong. I could feel panic and anxiety rise in the household as my sister left.

"Child, what have you done?" I heard Morgan ask me sometime later. I didn't know how much time had passed. "You have closed off the bond incorrectly. You still give him strength to not have withdrawals but have left yourself empty. He cannot feel your torment. When he arrives, and he will, do not blame him for looking so healthy. He did not know. You did not say anything. I'm sorry I've been so absent. I didn't realize either. It is my fault as well. Amour, you can't die. What is the point of trying to kill yourself?" It was a question I might have been asking myself. If I needed food to survive and I stopped eating, what would happen? If I magically exhausted myself would there be enough to keep me living?

"Friend, he is on his way," I heard Klaus's voice. "Your family did not tell me you were this bad. You are the most powerful of us all. To die like this would not make me think very highly of you. And there are so very few people I think highly of." I wanted to laugh but couldn't.