Crybaby

1 - Feedback

The next day started early, but at a more humane hour than the weeks before. After the promotion of their latest comeback, things would calm down for a while, and everyone could finally catch their breath. Today, the team had a meeting at KQ to reflect on the promotion phase, established by their captain, Hongjoong, and an afternoon fan meeting.

When Yunho and Yeosang entered the meeting room, Hongjoong was already there, typing away on his laptop. "Good morning, Hyung," they both chimed in unison, and Hongjoong greeted them back but quickly returned to his work, which seemed important.

As always, Yunho couldn't help but admire their captain's dedication. Always busy, always exhausted, yet tirelessly pushing Ateez forward and pursuing his passion as a musician.

Shortly after, Wooyoung and Jongho arrived with coffee and breakfast. They must have come to the office together with Hongjoong since they shared an apartment. While Hongjoong worked, the two had taken care of breakfast. Soon, the rest - Seonghwa, San, and Mingi - joined them, completing the team. They all took their seats around the table, and Wooyoung handed out coffee and breakfast to everyone.

Hongjoong closed his notebook with a flourish, grinning mischievously.
"It's good to see you all."

He seems pleased with the past weeks, Yunho thought to himself.

"As always, I'd like to gather your feedback on our promotion. It helps me see what went well, where we as a team can improve, and how we can better adjust to each other if needed," Hongjoong stated. Seonghwa nodded in agreement. "I'll start," he said, and Hongjoong gestured for him to continue, and the conversation deepened. Seonghwa was excellent at giving objective feedback, addressing aspects they all agreed on.

After Seonghwa, it was San's turn, and finally, Mingi's. However, Mingi remained silent for a moment. Then he spoke softly.
"I'm not sure if I did well. I'm sorry if I disappointed you."

Silence fell.

Yunho turned his head in surprise, locking eyes with his longtime friend across the table. Mingi had given his all this comeback, as always, and in Yunho's opinion, he had surpassed himself. Mingi always aimed to improve his skills as a rapper, which had truly shown this time. He had flawlessly delivered during live performances, which wasn't easy with his challenging lyrics. It was also becoming increasingly clear what his artistic ambition and vision were, how he wanted to perform and be perceived as a performer. The audience loved him for it. And not just for that...

Yunho's gaze wandered from Mingi's eyes to his recently dyed blonde hair, combed straight back right now, with strands falling onto his forehead. His eyes then traveled to Mingi's distinctive jawline, down to his broad shoulders and chest muscles, outlined under his thin gray sweatshirt... Yunho swallowed and quickly looked away, realizing how mature Mingi had become since they first met in middle school.

And yet he still has his doubts, Yunho thought sadly, biting his lip.

"Mingi-ah, that's not true," Hongjoong broke the silence.

"Have you not seen the recordings? Do you know how well you did?" Wooyoung chimed in, gesturing emphatically with his hand. Yeosang nodded in agreement, and Jongho echoed the sentiment.

Mingi looked up, lips pressed into a thin line. He didn't believe them.

"Mingi-ah," Seonghwa spoke next, turning to him. As the oldest member of the team, he had taken it upon himself to support the younger ones mentally more and more lately.
"First of all, thank you for trusting us and openly addressing your doubts. That's not easy. Even if you don't believe it, we all here think you were incredibly good and delivered. Ateez wouldn't be complete without you. Can you accept that?"

Mingi hesitated for a moment, then nodded slowly. They had had these conversations many times before, Mingi had to learn to accept feedback from them and believe that they weren't lying to him. It was working quite well now, Mingi just had to start internalizing this positive feedback.

For a brief moment, Mingi continued to play with a pen in his hands, then suddenly lifted his gaze and fixed it on Yunho. The others followed his gaze, and it was obvious that Mingi also hoped for encouraging words from his best friend. Yunho's eyes darted between the members. Then he spontaneously raised his hand and formed a heart with his thumb and index finger towards Mingi, winking at him. It came so unexpectedly in this tense situation that Mingi had to laugh softly, closing his eyes and shaking his head slowly. The others laughed too, and the uncomfortable tension dissipated from the room.

"We can talk about this more with Seonghwa later if it helps," Hongjoong said to Mingi, and San, sitting next to him, patted Mingi's shoulder reassuringly. Mingi smiled faintly and nodded.

Yunho was glad the tension was over, but he also knew that Mingi had actually hoped for more from him - as always. But what could he say? That he thought Mingi was amazing, charismatic and talented? That for him he looked gorgeous, handsome, cute and hot all at the same time? That he held so much admiration for him that it almost hurt sometimes? That wouldn't do. It would inevitably sound like he was swooning over him, and that was too much. Besides, it felt wrong to give Mingi more encouragement than the others...
Mingi was doing fine on his own.

"Yunho-ah, what's your opinion on the promotion?" Hongjoong asked, snapping Yunho out of his thoughts. He hadn't even realized that the others had already given their feedback, and now it was his turn. He cleared his throat, hoping no one noticed how he blushed slightly.

"Um... I second what Seonghwa-Hyung said... Besides, I'm surprised that Mingi is so skeptical, because I think we did a very good job, all of us, and especially Mingi," Yunho said, putting on a smile and nodding. "That's pretty much it. I want to stay positive."

"Okay, short and sweet, that works too. Thanks, Yunho. Yeosang, you're up next."

Yeosang began to speak hesitantly, as was his way, and Yunho's thoughts immediately drifted away again. He glanced back at Mingi, hoping that his words had reached him after all. Without directly addressing Mingi, Yunho hadn't been able to bring himself to do it.

A heavy feeling spread in his chest. So much so that it hurt. He had to admit to himself that he was greatly afraid that Mingi would spiral down again... It had happened before, ending with Mingi withdrawing from their activities and taking a break. Back then, he had also sought professional help and received medication for his depression. It had been a very difficult and stressful phase for everyone, especially for Mingi, of course. But Yunho had also suffered, as his best friend had disappeared suddenly. They stayed in touch, but it was tough... Especially because it was unclear whether Mingi would even come back and continue to be part of Ateez.

What if everything repeated itself now, and what if this time he didn't come back?

Yunho had to be there for Mingi. It was his duty, he was his protector and his guarantee of good spirits. That was his role. He, who didn't let himself be dragged down and was a support for his team... So he swallowed what he had actually wanted to say to the others today. He clenched his hand into a fist under the table.

It's alright... You can do this.

Than he finally focused on the conversation with a smile.