Crybaby

9 - I'm here

Yunho's POV:

Yunho sat on his bed, sipping a beer and mindlessly scrolling through various short videos that the algorithm had fed into his private feed. Only his bedside lamp cast a dim light in the room.

His stomach clenched when a short video from their last comeback appeared. It was a compilation of the best scenes from the comeback stages, and as usual, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and San were prominently featured. He himself appeared only briefly, and it wasn’t even a good shot of him, in his opinion.

He put his phone aside and sighed. How stupid was he to try to distract himself with social media? In a fit of frustration, he threw his head back and downed his beer in one go. He quickly regretted the sudden movement as pain shot through his left cheek, where Mingi’s elbow had hit him two days ago at the Tokyo airport. He tried to ignore it and placed the empty beer bottle with the others already nestled in the niche between his bed and the wall. Then he sat motionless, staring out the window into the dark, rain-soaked night.

After his unexpected return to the office, he had gotten into big trouble. His manager had immediately dragged him into his office and yelled at him. What had he been thinking, causing so much disruption and chaos? Did he think it was funny? He’d soon lose his sense of humor, the manager had said. Did he realize what trouble he’d caused and how selfish and self-centered he was? That he had never expected such behavior from him and was deeply disappointed...

The last point hit hard, and Yunho understood. He was disappointed in himself too. He felt like crying.

He reached into the niche next to his bed and pulled out another beer from the six-pack, opened it, and took a big gulp. The cold drink tasted bitter and fizzed strongly in his throat. He liked the taste and the sensation. By his third beer, he could feel the alcohol spreading through his body, bringing the desired light-headedness. It felt good to be less connected to reality... But still, he couldn’t stop thinking.

He deserved all the anger from the manager and probably more. There would likely be more to come tomorrow when the manager wanted to talk to him calmly. After his outburst, the manager had thrown him out of the office, telling him not to show his face for the rest of the day. Yunho had gone straight home, unable to bear the sympathetic or annoyed looks from the staff at the KQ office. He had been sitting in his room ever since, wanting to see no one. His plan was to get drunk enough to fall asleep without thinking...

Yunho suddenly startled, his pulse quickening, when he heard someone ringing the doorbell. Fortunately, Yeosang was still there and went to the door. His roommate had planned to go to the gym later that evening to train with San and Mingi.

Yunho’s stomach clenched as he suddenly thought it might be another staff member coming to give him a piece of their mind. He knew everyone was disappointed in him... He hadn’t read the messages on his phone yet. Maybe someone was so angry that they had come over... To Yunho’s dismay, there was a knock at his door. Yunho quickly hid his beer behind the bed with the other bottles. “...yes,” he said tensely, and Yeosang poked his head in.

“Yunho. Um... Mingi is here. Is it okay if he comes in? I thought I’d better ask you first...”

Mingi? Out of all? If he wants to tear me down now, that would be the end of me... I mean... He has every right to. I let him down. He must be terribly disappointed in me... just like everyone else. Shit...

Though Yunho felt scared, empty, ashamed to his core for his actions, and would have preferred to be alone, he couldn’t say no... He gave Yeosang a faint smile and nodded.