What do you do when a friendship is based on secrets?
That's what Soobin, with a cold face who cares for others but is afraid to get close because of his social status, wonders when he meets Taehyun, a boy with a bright, bubbly personality who conce...
So, here we are, at the end of this fanfic. It's crazy to think that after almost two months of daily updates, this writing journey has officially come to an end.
This was... quite the task.
To my luck, my main job this whole time was to rewrite and edit the chapter, and make sure it's up before midnight. Yes, sometimes I was awake until then trying to get a chapter up haha.
Well, I really wanted to do it. It's been a while since I've last been so active on a book of mine, and I wanted to make sure I can feed all of my readers before I have to go on a little break as my finals are approaching and I don't want to stress over Wattpad too much.
But also? I want to give all the starving Taebinists on this app what they deserve.
And this is something the little me of three years ago wanted to, who was only 13 years old when she wrote this book.
Secrets was inspired by mainly three things.
One was my first Taebin video I watched and literally streamed like it was a religion because of how little Taebin compilations there were back in the day. It had the song 'I want to kiss you' by Jungyup playing as BGM, and when I read the lyrics, the first scene of this fanfic came to mind. I officially started writing around June/July 2020. At first, I wanted to create a story of two boys, from opposite backgrounds and different histories, coming together through a summer camp, and then leave it as it was. But it didn't feel right, and I wanted more to the story, but I was stuck. Around that time, I also was going through a hard time and my mental health was in shambles, and I couldn't form the plot.
However, two things helped here, which leads to my next inspiration.
Secrets was heavily inspired by my favorite BL series, Until We Meet Again. I love that story to death, it honestly raised the bar way too high for me after that with BLs, and after rewatching it again at the beginning of eighth grade, I was motivated to write something similar to it (if you've never seen this series before, you HAVE to watch it, it's on YouTube! Spoilers ahead by the way). My favorite couple of the many in that show were Korn and In, who led their relationship in secret before also being exposed. And because of how beautiful and tragic their love was, I wanted to have my own story like that too. Hence why the OST of that show was the background music for the last chapter (not the finale haha).
But what truly helped here was listening to Suho's album,'Self Portrait'. Suho is my EXO bias, and the only reason why is thanks to his solo debut. If you have never listened to it before, you have to; it will quite literally change your life. Through that album, I was able to gain more ideas. While listening to it, especially during the nights where it was nearly impossible for me to sleep, I started seeing so many scenes in all the songs of that album with Taebin in it. I read all the lyrics, and even if I mixed the order of the songs up, they helped me form this story. I think that if I never listened to that album, I would not have been able to get this story done, or have a good storyline. Thank you so much Suho.
Speaking of plot, I honestly don't know what the whole point of it was. Was it about the reality of relationships, especially queer ones? Was it about the struggle of overcoming obstacles of life? I don't know, author me of three years ago wasn't either. I guess I just... really wanted to write a love story.
Taebin's love story is way different from the ones in my previous fanfics. But it's honestly realistic. Their relationship had plenty of ups and downs. It wasn't just because they had to date in secret, but it was also because they had so much stress and pressure from that factor, school, and also because it was their first relationship. Yet their love was strong for each other, so they were able to manage; their relationship was built on trust and patience.
And not just that: Taehyun and Soobin changed each other for the better. It's something that 'Secrets' is about: When you meet someone and you fall in love, you want to become someone your lover will fall in love with too. It's about finding your true self and discovering the best version of you. When we think about how cold and distant Soobin was at the beginning and how much more open and caring he is at the end, we can all agree it's because of Taehyun.
Taehyun doesn't go through a lot of changes now that I think about it, but he did learn to lean on Soobin when it was hard (although it took him a long time), and he's still learning along the way to know it's okay to be dependent on someone as long as you need. Because if he hadn't, he wouldn't have accepted Kai's offer to change schools for his own good.
I wanted to show my readers that relationships are not just the whole I love yous or kisses or hugs or giving gifts and doing stuff together. No. Sure it's one part of it, but that's not everything.
Relationships require so much faith, love, patience, and trust. If you want to keep a relationship going, you will basically have to work your ass off to show your love. It can be simple, but most importantly, you have to prove that you are there for them, and that your love is eternal and endless. Had Soobin and Taehyun not fought to keep their relationship alive, had they not had a twinkling of hope they could reunite one day, because they had faith in their love, part 3 would have been the end of it all. It just goes to show, like our dear IU said, love wins all.
There's many more lessons hidden in the story that I want to talk about, but I'll leave it up to you to see what. I'm sure you'll find them :)
This story has, and will always have, such a special place in my heart, because it was my comfort place in the midst of online school and the COVID pandemic. I spend many long winter nights working on this all cuddled up in my room; early 2021 will always be a core memory for me and my writing. It was the one thing I needed to distract me from everything that was going on in the world, and also in my personal life. The characters, the emotions, the playlist, the bonds of the whole story... it was all so perfect for me. Idk what crack I put here. It truly means the world to me even after three years, and I'm more than honored to see that so many other people feel the same about it.
However. The story is not entirely over yet. There's a reason the finale is also labeled part 5. Maybe, if I find the time and motivation for it, a Hopekook prequel will be released one day, and perhaps a Beomkai sequel too 👀 hold onto that thought for me while you miss Secrets haha.
To all my lovelies, thank you for reading this roller coaster of emotions until the very end. I truly had one heck of a journey with this story, so thank you for being with me every step of the way. I'll always be eternally grateful for all of you.
I hope to see y'all again in another Taebin book of mine very soon.
![Secrets - [TAEBIN FF]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/364326041-64-k242994.jpg)