crossing the line AU

Chapter 33

Cassandra

I looked around the castle for Rapunzel, firstly checking the first aid rooms and then moving onto the spare bedrooms, thinking they may have given her one to stay in while she healed, but she seemed to have completely disappeared.

Again.

If I hadn't bumped into one of the hand maidens I knew was in the group that carried her away I probably wouldn't have found her at all.

"Hi, uh, you don't happen to know where Rapunzel is? Do you? I cant seem to find her." She folds back up the dress she was holding, and looks up at me.
"She's in the throne room." Her voice was polite, but plain.
"The throne room?"
"That's what I said." Ok that wasn't necessary was it? My god.
"Why is she up there though? Did-"
"You know, Cassandra, you should be asking those questions to you 'parents'. Not that you'll like it either way." And then she walked off.

Ok that was... rushed? Why-? What-? Excuse me?

The more I think about it, the weirder that encounter feels. The way she spoke to me, the way she addressed me, the way she said the word parents... it almost felt like she'd have put air quotes if she had her hands free.

I got to chuckle, but then I remember something.

The tile memorial.

Ok no. Cassandra your going crazy. Whatever your thinking, it isn't true. Stop assume the worst and just take a-

Nope. It's too late. I'm already running.

When I reach the throne room, both the doors are open wide and I can already see Rapunzel is inside, as well as that Captain and-

Wait a minute-?

Are they...? Hugging...? Are all three of them... What is-

Whats happening right now?

I decide to wait by the doors, waiting for the right time to announce my presence. This way, I can over hear them saying the truth, rather than have them possibly feed me lies.

Although, I wished I hadn't. I wished I'd held onto my cluelessness just a little longer.

I wasn't ready.

"our daughter... Your finally home."

"What the fuck?"

My first, immediate thought, was that I had some long lost sister I had no idea about, and that thought sickened me, but I quickly realised that was definitely not true. So I shook that one away fast.
And then a more realistic, yet hurtful thought formed.

I look at the three of them, together, all facing me with an equal amount of shock in their eyes, and I studied their appearances. Their features, their expressions and manner when they stand... They are all so similar...

Even their shared optimistic side...

They all have so much in common just by their exterior alone.

Which makes me realise...

I'm... I'm the odd one out here...

I... I'm the one that doesn't belong.

I'm that additional puzzle piece, aren't I?

"What the... What the fuck is happening right now?" I demand, feeling my sadness shapeshift into a numbing anger.

I walked up closer to them.

"I demand an explanation right now!" I proclaim, directing my anger straight to my... The King and Queen. I notice Rapunzel take a step back out of the corner of my eye.

"Cassandra... We- we wanted to tell you... We did but-" She starts up some excuse, but I shut it down quickly.
"But what? What could have possibly stopped you from telling the girl you raised that she is in fact not at all your daughter? That actually you had one child who was what? I don't even know what the fuck did even happen! What did you just not want her? Swapped her out or some sick shit like that."

Usually I would refrain from using foul language around the castle, but I'm not opposed to it right now. I'm allowed to be pissed off, I'm allowed to feel.

"Cass I-"
"Rapunzel. Don't. Just don't." I don't turn to face her, I just hold up my hand in her direction to signify that I don't want her input in this, and with that she took a few more steps back.

This doesn't concern her, well, not at this moment anyway.

"Explanation. Now." I repeat, my arms folded, my tone sharp and my posture strong, all the things I perfected in order to hid my pain.
They turn their heads to each other, take in a deep breath and seem to mutually agree on something.

Then they look back at me.

"You were just a baby when they found you, only 4 years old. The guards couldn't leave you alone in an abandoned house, no one has the heart to do that, not really." I feel the need to scoff. They both give me a look, then the King continues. "we'd just has Rapunzel taken from us, and the next day you were brought to our doorstep, scared and confused. We weren't in any position to raise you, but we couldn't turn you away, so the castle staff agreed to raise you together, teach you what little girls need to be taught, ect, ect, and we all agreed that it was best for you if-"
"if you raised me like I was your actual daughter? Like a princess even though I'm not in any way blood related! And I was the only one who didn't fucking know!?" I could feel my blood bubbling, spitting from my lips and the volume of my voice increases. They both hang their heads.

"Do you have any idea how hard growing up was for me? In a castle I didn't fit into, in a kingdom I didn't fit into! With 'parents' who weren't there emotionally, that were just their for decision making. Do you know how many parental figures I have gone through in this place? But not because I changed my mind growing up, no, but because they gave up on me? They ended up taking one look at me and quit for fucks sake! How was any of that better than just giving me to a foster family? A singular family that would've raised me properly! Like an actual daughter, and not some fucking charity case. And what, did you just never think to look for my birth parents? What if they did want me... What if... What if they..." the more I spoke, the louder the thoughts in my head got, the more overwhelmed I became and the more hurt I was trying to fight back.

So I stopped before I cracked.

"Cassandra we did want you to find out like this, trust me we only wanted what was best-"
"if you wanted what's best for me, you'd have tried for me! You'd have worked for me! You'd have listened and tried to understand me! I don't know but did you ever stop to think passing me from hand maiden to hand maiden wasn't the best idea for a literal child! A developing human child!" both the King and Queen, and Cap, and even Rapunzel all were looking at me with an expression that communicated how... Scared... They were-

Wait... Why the fuck are they scared? Am I really that-

I take a quick look down at myself, and notice my hands balled into fists, shaking violently, and I can only assume my face is red hot with anger, which wouldn't surprise me, that that is what my body chose to communicate with, but at the same time...

I didn't want this...

I need to leave. I need to go.

Before things get worse.

"I'm leaving." I force open my palms, throw them down to my sides and put my eyes focus onto the ground, a floor tiled so perfectly, one polished and painted with such precision, one so... So fake.

No one said anything in response to my announcement, if I can even call it that, so I didn't waste anymore time.

This place was feeling more stuffy than usual, it was feeling more bright and happy, like the people were happier. But I just feel done, I feel angry, numb, sad, weak, defeated, I feel... Different... But also the same as I've always felt, just in a more clearer light.

This place has always been to happy for me, to bright for me, to loud, to busy for me. It's everything opposite to who I am and I guess it took finding out I was actually different to realise just how different...

And all the while they are feeling joyous and celebratory, I'm sinking below rock bottom.