CHAPTER 1

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  Chapter 1

  Dean’s pov

“He came here earlier stating dat him ago want yuh, mi sey a only God, alone know ino.” Mummy says lowly clearly angry.

The houses were built close so we always have to whisper, in order to keep our business in our battyholes. Cam sighed deeply and shook her head from side to side, a look of depression was set in her face and she hissed miserably.

“Are you still a virgin Dean?” She asked lowly.

“Tsk, a wha kind a question dat Cam?” I asked her heatedly.

“Mi just a ask,” she said.

“Yuh see no man live yah fi lose mi virginity to?” I snapped angrily to keep from bursting into tears.

I knew what she was going to say before she did and I hated this truth. “yuh know what he’s going to want from you.” She stated calmly.

The house suddenly feel smaller than it was and I felt like the world was closing in on me. I walked into the parted bedroom I share with my mother and sister when she and her man who live off Waltham park road nah gree. I took off my shoes, socks and uniform, changed into my yard clothes and sat down on my bed. Mummy and Cam came in, mommy sat beside me on my bed and Cam remained standing in the doorway, they both wore troubled facial expressions and I braced myself for what was to come.

However before any of them could start speaking I did. “Mummy mi nuh study so hard and keep miself just fi come dey wid nuh don, so just mek we run wey from here.”

She sighed. “It’s not that simple, firstly wey we ago guh? And him might come kill di whole a wi any wey wi guh.” She reasoned in the depressive way she always does when situations were tough.

“Mi study hard fi pass all a mi exam dem fi get a good work and fi get a good man wey can help me, mi no wan’ nobody wey can’ uplift mi after all di struggle me go through.” I said tearfully.

“Humn! Yuh wan’ hear him to, bout along time him a pree yuh. Mi tell yuh ino Mummy, sey a bet sey him soon start pree Dean from mi see how him a operate.” Cameisha said lowly to me and then to our mother.

My mother’s sad expression made me felt like a failure, she tried hard with us but as a single parent living in the ghetto and raising children is not easy. I know that and I don’t want it for myself, there is much more to life than being one of the don’s woman.

“Anytime yuh go to him and a yuh front him want, mek him know sey yuh want fi guh college, because yuh wan’ further yuh education. Him send di buoy dem go theif and bruk di store dem wey nuh gi dem protection money, so hear wha yuh need fi do, theif him. Mi nuh mean petty cash, mi mean when dem carry things from off a dem raid and him tek fi him cut, tek somn out a it and nuh mek him know. How much young woman him want fi fuck off so? Mi sorry mi neva get di house a spanish town ino, cause atleast we wouldn’t affi a go through dis.” Mummy said sad and upset.

“And yuh nah breed fi him neither, tomorrow when mi guh a work mi buy some contraceptive pill and yuh tek dem. Si Sandrine dey, a two pickney she would a gone fi him a’ready if she neva lose di belly last month. Look how she affi leave school and she did a gwane good, I was surprised when mi hear sey she a breed fi him.” Cameisha says.

Mummy hissed nastily and says. “Fi har Mumma help push har dey so, cause dem love likes and di son dem nuh wan’ go look wok. A one thing mi ask him today ino, sey 'if him see how mi work and send my daughter dem go school?' Bout mi naffi worry myself, a knee city mi a guh fi him.”

  Later that night Antoine called, a wave of frustration came over me and I touch mummy and mouthed his name to her.

“My girl how yuh a gwane like yuh nuh wan’ answer di phone suh?” He questioned.

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