Chaos Uncontrolled Continued

Lonely

Super took a deep breath. Things had been... a lot lately. Adjusting to everything was a challenge. Even if Sonic and Tails assured him they were there to help there was still a lot of hesitation from Super. In all fairness he'd been tormenting Sonic and attacking his friends not too long ago so he felt like he could be forgiven for feeling awkward.

Particularly talks of how often he'd be allowed to take control and other rules had been draining him lately. It felt a lot more like he was being talked at during these discussions. Sure he understood why they needed to have them, but still he'd like to feel like he was giving a little more input. Sonic didn't pass along everything he said to Tails afterall.

It made him feel... like an outsider. Those ugly thoughts of wondering why Sonic and Tails would even want to keep him around reared their head quite a bit. He felt alone, which had never been a problem before. He just hoped that things would improve once all these ground rules were done.

Super stared into the dark void of the headspace. Sonic was currently asleep and for whatever reason Super wasn't tired. Well maybe it was because he'd grabbed several naps throughout the day. Whatever the reason he was awake, and utterly alone. No one to talk to, no one to bother, no one to even just watch and listen to. The only thing to keep him company was the silence and the darkness. He didn't find them to be particularly welcoming companions. Why did feelings have to be so complicated? Part of him wished he could just go back to not caring about all this stuff, but he knew that he'd never want to go back. Having to constantly fight for control? That would only end poorly for him. He sighed and mentally prepared himself for a long night.

Super sat on a table in Tails' lab. The fox had left for a moment to go get something and Super had been instructed not to move since he was hooked up to the machine Tails had made to take readings of his chaos energy or whatever. Of course Sonic was also taking a nap so he couldn't even annoy him for entertainment.

He drummed his claws on the table. Why did he feel like this? He'd been alone plenty before. Why did it bother him so much now? Shaking himself out and pinning his ears down he tried not to think about it too hard. When Tails came back in the fox looked at him in concern, but he waved him off. He was fine.

Super watched quietly as Sonic chatted with Tails. He was doing his best to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself and based on how Sonic didn't seem to acknowledge him he'd say he was doing a pretty good job. He sort of wondered what it would be like to just have a conversation like this. With someone close. He sighed and put his head on his legs. Maybe he should open up more but it just felt so hard. Emotions beyond anger and rage were beyond him still. He didn't understand them and sometimes he really did wish he didn't have to deal with them. At least then he wouldn't have to feel like this.

With his souring mood he lost all interest in listening to whatever conversation was going on. He just closed his eyes and tried to rest.

Super watched as Sonic and Tails playfully sparred with each other. It was still an odd concept to him, to fight without wanting to hurt the person you were fighting. The way Sonic and Tails laughed as they struggled to get out of each other's grip was all Super needed to see to know it was possible though. He watched in mild interest. Sonic was clearly holding back. The hedgehog could easily best the fox in a fight, yet he kept it more sporting. Super could sort of get that. It wasn't fun if it ended too fast.

He frowned, reigning in his emotions so he wouldn't tip off Sonic. Why was he like this? It was all so confusing. He just wished it'd make sense already. He flicked an ear in annoyance. The two had finished their sparring and Sonic was telling Tails how well he'd done. Super subtly tried to pick up on Sonic's emotions. Pride, joy, love. He stopped. He didn't need to feel that. Not when some deep part of him, that had been getting closer to the surface every day, desperately wished those emotions were aimed at him.

Super stared up at the night sky. He really shouldn't be doing this but he just needed a bit of air. Real air. In real physical lungs. Hopefully Sonic hadn't noticed and Super had managed to remove Tails' machine correctly so he wouldn't be notified. His ears lowered as he took in the vast night sky. It felt so open, so free. He kind of longed for that sort of free feeling.

"Getting some air?" Super froze at the sound of Tails' voice. He whipped around to look at the fox in mild panic. Tails quickly held up his hands. "I'm not mad. You didn't run off." He eyed Super's wrist. "Though I can see you were trying not to alert me." Tails slowly approached. "Just so you know it'll pick up the spike in chaos energy as soon as it happens. No matter how small." He sat down next to Super and looked up at the sky.

"I... see." Super turned away, ears pinned against his head.

He could feel Tails' eyes on him and it made him sort of uncomfortable. He tried not to let any of that show. "You know Sonic is always telling me to make sure to take care of myself and that if I need anything to let him know." Tails said, and Super swiveled an ear in his direction. "He's been worried about you." Super could see Tails frown out of the corner of his eye. "He's worried that you've been so closed off. I know you won't become an open book overnight but..." Tails sighed. "Know that you're not alone. Me and Sonic are here to help, even if you don't think that." Tails tentatively scooted closer to Super, he didn't give the fox any indication to stop. Carefully Tails wrapped an arm around Super. He unwillingly leaned into the touch, even if he wasn't sure why. It felt nice though. "We'll do better to try and show you that rather than just tell you though." Tails looked back up at the sky.

Super felt content in that moment. Things were hard sure, but they would get better with time. Finally he felt like he wasn't alone anymore, and it was a feeling he'd cling on tightly to.