➜Intrigue and Stakes: The prologue sets a high stake right from the beginning. The queen is running for her life with her newborn son, fearing a powerful and ruthless warmongering husband and king. The world is on the brink of war, and the child's immense power adds another layer of intrigue.
➜World Building: The prologue introduces a rich and complex world with different species, a portal between worlds, and a powerful guardian. It establishes the hierarchy and the magic system without overwhelming the reader. The details about the different worlds, the Eternal Mountain, and the portal create a unique and fantastical setting.
➜Emotional Connection: The reader feels the urgency and desperation of the queen as she tries to save her son. The sacrifice she makes to protect him adds emotional depth to the story.
➜Compelling Characters: Areida's strength and determination, Zendaya's burden and grief, and the baby's potential for both good and evil make them intriguing figures.
➜Cliffhanger: The prologue ends on a strong cliffhanger, leaving the reader wanting more. We don't know what world the baby is sent to, who the new Guardian is, or what the future holds.
•Weaknesses of the Prologue
➜Pacing: Some sections feel a bit slow, particularly when the queen is describing her thoughts and feelings. Tightening these sections could improve the overall pacing.
➜Exposition: There's a lot of information packed into the prologue, which might feel overwhelming to some readers. Consider weaving the exposition more naturally into the action.
➜Clarity: Some details, like the specific magic abilities of the queen and Zendaya, could be clarified slightly without bogging down the narrative. Some terminology might be confusing for readers unfamiliar with fantasy tropes (e.g., "pureblood" vs. "half-breed", "Lycan direct descendant").
➜Show, Don't Tell: In a few instances, the narrative tells us emotions rather than showing them through actions or descriptions (e.g., "She felt deadly exhausted").
•Suggestions for Improvement
➜Refine Terminology: Consider replacing terms like "Lycan direct descendant" with something clearer within the context of the real world (e.g., "werewolf bloodline").
