His Tesoro (MxM)

Chapter 59

Matteo

I always thought I hated Stefano, I mean to a certain extent I thought I disliked everything about him, for so long I thought I hated seeing him around me, that I didn't realize how mundane and alone I was without his presence.
I was used to being alone and having my normal life that when Stefano started coming around it felt so weird and I just wanted to get rid of him, but now I finally got rid of him and I don't think I like how it's making me feel.

I know I always had Spade with me, but the routine was basically the same thing everyday and then when Nate came along, Spade just sort of got distracted and occupied, and don't get me wrong it's not as if I'm saying Spade shouldn't have fallen in love with Nate, I know he wouldn't be single forever and I didn't even want him to be single forever.

But with Nate in Spade's life, it wasn't like before, and most things I usually do with Spade, I had to do alone or third wheel with both of them, and trust me, third wheeling with someone like Spade isn't exactly a fun thing to do

And then Stefano came along, he sort of changed my whole dynamic, he would show up unannounced, drag me with him at odd hours to casinos, hang around my house, drag me with him to his warehouse, he kind of distracted me from the normal way I lived my life, and it made me infuriated with him because I didn't like how spontaneous he was.

I kept looking for the Stefano the whole world knew, the lying, cheating two faced man, but everyday he showed me something contrary to what everyone painted him to be, and as time went by I kept trying to find the bad in him, maybe to make hating him justified in my eyes, and the fact that he kept proving me wrong, only made my somewhat dislike for him to grow

And the auction came and he practically forced me to take him with me, I did and I actually spent time with him, and for the first since I met him, I didn't fight it, I just let it happen and he wasn't that bad to be with.

But deep down I still wanted to hate him, I needed a reason to hate him, and then the kiss happened and I finally found one, well I gave myself one.

Thinking about it now, I realized there was never really anything in it for Stefano, hanging out with me, he wasn't doing it for him, he was doing it for me, going out of his way just to spend time with me, and I never appreciated it, I acted like a dick until I pushed him away

But now I was trying to redeem myself, I wanted to redeem myself, and I feel like it's too late, standing here and just watching him have the time of his life, laughing and talking with his friend, I felt a pang in my chest.

There was a time he used to look at me like that, his attention would only be on me and I hated it so much, but now I know if I am to show myself to him, the smile would be wiped off his face, because of me.

I chewed on my bottom lip, thinking of how I would talk to him tonight, even if he wouldn't listen, I just needed to let him know that I was sorry and I mean it, I want us to start over, I want to make up for everything I ever said or did to him.

Anyone staring at me would think I'm a freak, because I had been staring at Stefano for the past 5 minutes without looking away or blinking, I had hoped he'd have noticed by now, but it would seem whatever he was talking about had taken up all of his attention and concentration.

I wanted to walk up to him, but I don't think his friend would be friendly enough to let me talk to him, not after what he said that day at the club, that Stefano and I were better off staying away from each other

I was still looking at them both when Stefano leaned in and said something to his friend before he excused himself and walked away from the hall, he headed towards an open entrance, I quickly dropped my drink and brushed past the different people scattered around the hall