Loveable

Thank you for everything

Hi guyss. Hopefully this one will be longer than some of the others. Hopefully it won't be to heavy just following on the last chapter without as much detail.
Tws: talk of self-harm, talk of suicide, bruises , mentioning of verbal and physical abuse and eating disorder behavior.
Anything I think is more detailed will again be in *s and thoughts will be italics.
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Third person POV

It had been 2 days since Maya's relapse and Carina was still worried as the blonde seemed even more cut off then usual and was either always in the gym at work or on a run. The Italian knew it wasn't healthy but she didn't know what to do as she knew Maya wasn't going to listen to her or anyone else.

The team was sat in the beanery and everyone was eating except a certain blonde.

Mayas POV

*
I sat down with the team as everyone started eating.

'That food looks really nice.'

'Shut up you're already 10kg over your goal don't make it anymore!'

I sighed as I watched everyone laughing and socializing before heading for a small workout. As I arrived at the gym, I pulled out the scale and secretly stepped on to help decide how long I was going to be.

I looked down and saw a huge number that should have been a lot lower.

40.5kg
'Why am I so fat I need to lose weight, dad was right.'

I got on the treadmill and put it to nearly max speed before starting to run and run and run.

After running 10 miles I slowly came to a stop and heading over to the weights. After doing some weights I did my final part of ny workout, 20 sit-ups, 20 push ups,  20 crunches and 20 lunges.

Third persons POV

Maya headed to the shower after making sure the scale was where she got it and washed away all the exhaustion she felt.
Stepping out of the shower, she felt relieved and refreshed.

Carina decided to wait for Maya after hearing the shower running and noticing the gym had been used. She sat down in the locked room and fiddled with one of her rings, as she knew how much Maya would avoid the conversation.

Maya walked it already dressed and stopped in her tracks as she saw Carina.

"Oh hey Carina what's up?" She asked nervously.

"We need to talk Maya and you know that." The brunette said softly.

"O..okay." Maya agreed hesitantly.

Maya sat down opposite Carina and pushed all the bad thoughts away, trying to think positive.

"What's going on with you mai, what's going on in your head?" Carina asked.

"I..I just can't." She started.

"Can't what Bella?" The Italian asked trying to encourage the blonde to speak.

"I..I can't do this, my dad was right I'm weak and pathetic, I'm too fat and I shouldn't even be alive, I've lost so many innocent people because I couldn't save them. It should have been me and not them, that's why I hurt myself because the pain takes away a little of the guilt and it helps me forget my dad and everything." She ranted out.

"Oh Bella you should have told someone, or me I would have helped you. I still will bambina  I promise it will get better." Carina replied.

Maya nodded and looked down at the ground. Her leg bagan to shake and she started to feel terrible about how Carina must feel.

Noticing Maya's tense body and bouncing leg she inched forward.

"Can I touch you bambina, just on your leg." Carina tentatively.

Maya nodded as she knew Carina wouldn't hurt her and as she knew the Italian was the only person who could touch her and she would still feel safe.

Carina slowly sat next to her and carefully placed her hand on Maya's shaking leg before running smooth circles on it.

Maya relaxed into the touch before cautiously laying her head on Carina.
'She won't hurt me. I'm fine'

The Italian smiled at Maya's progress and continued rubbing her leg.

"Thank you." The blonde spoke suddenly.

"What for?" Carina asked confused.

"Thank you for everything. For helping me when I really needed it, for reassuring me when I had noone, for understanding me and not judging and most of all thank you for making me feel safe with physical touch after my dad never doing that himself." Maya replied smiling a little.

"Always bambina, sempre." Carina responded her eyes watering slightly.

The two stayed there for a while before heading to the beanery where Carina drew soothing patterns on Maya's palm as she slowly and unsurely ate a yoghurt.

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And that's the end of todays chapter.
Translations: sempre=always

I will make it more clear about Maya not liking touch soon so don't worry. Also later on once Maya and Carina are together and Maya is trying to heal do you think Diane or another therapist should suggest age regression to heal her inner three year old? I was originally going to do that then decided to wait so I thought I would get your opinions.

I'm going to start updating every Monday.
Love you all
Ella🫶🏻