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July 31st

Paige

"NIKA WHAT ARE YOU DOING" I hear Coach yelling from the side lines

"KK IS OPENED PASS THE DAMN BALL"
Yeah he's really not happy today. He's happy with me though. I'm playing great today.

"Ok that's game. I don't know what the hell you guys are doing but I have a meeting. Go take a shower you guys smell" Coach said walking towards his office.

"What stick crawled up his ass" KK said laughing. The freshman has been growing on me I can't lie. She's actually hilarious, and an amazing guard. Nika calls her a mini Paige. I'll never tell KK that though.

"I heard that Kamorea. Tomorrow you get to run 15 more suicides." Geno yelled back at us.

Man if you could see the look on KK's face. Poor kid looks like she is going to throw up.

"You'll be fine KK he's probably kidding" Azzi says trying to calm the girl down. Everyone else is laughing at her reaction at this point.

But KK only holds my attention for a brief second, because I see a girl I know all too well walk into Geno's office.

I feel like I can't breathe. What is she doing here. Why is she here. Is this some sort of sick joke. Why does God hate me. Please don't let this be real. I can't-

My thoughts are broken as I finally hear Ice's voice.

"P, are you good? You've been standing her staring at Couch's office for like 10 minutes" She questions me.

I look around and realize all of the girls are gone, and we are alone in the gym.

"Yeah i'm fine I just have to go. Tell Nika to grab my stuff for me please" I say as I basically sprint out of the gym.



I go to the one place I always go when I need to think. The gym. Ever since I was little whenever I was feeling overwhelmed or upset I would run. It just helps me clear my head. I put my airpods in and hop onto the treadmill.

It's not until my knee is throbbing that I finally take a break. I look down at the machine and realize I ran 14 miles. Shit. I look around to make sure our trainer Janel isn't in here. I'm technically still recovering from my ACL injury and i'm definitely not supposed to be running this much.

Between practice earlier and the half-marathon I just ran I am actually drenched in sweat. I smell disgusting, wow. I decided to take an ice bath before I shower, just to try and relieve some of the pain in my knee, that I am definitely feeling now.

I finally decided to check my phone and see I have like 8 missed calls from Nika. Which is expected, I did run out of practice and disappear for like 2 hours. I'll call her back after.

I just need time to process this. I haven't seen Charlie in 4 years. And they have been the hardest years of my life. Yes it was my decision to leave her but it's a decision I regret every day. I never stopped loving her, and I miss her every day. But I have learned to live without her, as painful as it may be.

My body is numb when I finally get out of the tub and make my way to the showers. The whole time my mind keeps on racing with the same question.

"Why is she here"

It's selfish of me to think that she would come all the way here to see me. Charlie is a planner through and through. She doesn't do anything without careful consideration so there's no way she's spontaneously just decided to come to Connecticut.

She's here for a reason. I just need to figure out what that is.

I thought about texting Caitlin, but she and I barely speak anymore. After me and Charlie broke up, she picked a side, and it obviously wasn't mine, which I understand.

Charlie and Cait have been friends since childhood. I was just one of Caitlin's basketball friends. So when I broke up with Charlie, I didn't just lose the love of my life, I lost a close friend too.

It's not until I'm on my way back to my dorm, but I decided to text Nika and let her know that I'm alive. Let's just say she was not very happy with me.

Luckily, I get to avoid a lecture because when I get back to our dorm, she's not there. I completely forgot we were supposed to have a team bonding game night at the common room in our building.

Our dorm is more like a 4 bedroom apartment, that myself, Nika, Aaliyah and Azzi share. Being student athletes, and seniors really does have its perks.

I decided just to head to my room and change into some comfy clothes. It's not until I walk back into the living room that I see Azzi sitting there.

"God Azzi you scared the shit out of me. Why are you just sitting here in silence."

"I was waiting for you." She says in a what kind of question is that tone

"So you saw Charlie i'm assuming. I mean why else would you run off to the gym for 2 1/2 hours."

How the fuck did she know where I was?

"Yes, I saw Charlotte." I say in a flat tone.

"Is that all you are going to say Paige. Talk to me I know this is hurting you right now."
She says to me in a softer tone.

Azzi is my Caitlin. We have been best friends since we were 13. We may have lived in different states but we were joint at the hip. As soon as I committed to UConn I was on Geno's ass about Azzi. I cried so much the day she told me she committed here. But I would never admit that to anyone, especially Azzi.

Azzi was there for me after Charlie. She used to fly up from D.C. almost every weekend for the first 3 months after our breakup. She is my rock. And she knows that I'm breaking right now. But I don't have any energy left in me to talk right now.

"Azzi i'm fine. We can talk tomorrow. I'm just exhausted from practice."

I can tell by the look in her eyes that she doesn't believe me, but she thankfully lets it go.

"We are talking tomorrow Paige Madison. Practice isn't until 4. I expect you up and in my room by 12 the latest. I'll bring you Tru Fru."

"I love you Azzi." I yell as I head back into my room. What would I do without that girl.

Aaliyah is one of my closet friends I love her to death. And Nika, she's my twin flame through and through. But Azzi. Azzi is my person. And she always will be.

"I love you too P." She yells back.

I decided to change into one of my old UConn basketball shirts. Well it's not really mine. I got it from Geno when I committed to UConn. It had my last name and my number it. I gave it to Charlie to wear for my my signing day, and she just kept it after that.

She used to wear it all the time, because she was so proud that her girlfriend was committed to a D1 school. She thought a shirt was a great gift, I couldn't wait to get her a jersey. But after we broke up I found the shirt in a box on my porch, along with all of the other clothes and all of the other gifts and things she had gotten throughout our relationship.

She actually shipped it all back to me. Along with a note that basically said that I was a coward, she didn't want anything that reminded her of me and that she never wanted to see me again. I tried to call her but she blocked my number and blocked me on all social medias. I never heard from her again.

She eventually unlocked me from Instagram, but blocked me again after I followed her a couple months after our breakup, and after 3 years I still am blocked. I definitely don't have a fake Instagram I use just to check her profile.

But no matter how many times I washed this shirt, I swear it still smells like her. I used to think it was curse, that no matter where I went I couldn't get rid of her. But now I feel thankful for it. The sent of vanilla and cherry's giving me comfort as I finally fall asleep.

After I checked her Instagram of course. Her airport fit was so cute. She looks so good. God I miss her so much.




— longggg second chapter! sorry about that. do you guys like longer chapters or shorter ones? Let me know in the comments. Anyway we will finally have a charlie and paige interaction in the next chapter!! LOVE U GUYS!

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