oklahoma smokeshow - jd9

14

winter

elodies point of view

trevor has been nagging me about this internship for weeks since he found out about it. i obviously know it would be such an amazing opportunity, but i get so scared going somewhere new. i mean i already had to move once to oklahoma and the thought of moving to another new place is a lot. but he is right when he says i'm not enjoying it here. cheer has been terrible, the coaches love to pick favorites and my body cannot endure these unrealistic practices. while my classes have been good, i may have over estimated my academics when it came to the classes i've been taking. then there's leo, i am now starting to understand what tate was warning me about with him. it's so hard to win with him, he's more stubborn than me and i'm stubborn.

"hey tatey i kinda need your advice" i say sitting on my loft, fiddling with my strings of my hoodie

"what's up?" she looks up from her computer

"well trevor called me a little bit ago about an athletic training internship position for the ducks in anaheim and i really want to do it but i feel like i have so much here still that leaving it behind seems like a waste" i speak, with some shake in my breath due to how anxious this whole situation is making me

"ellie that is such a great opportunity! i really think you should do it. you've had your time at oklahoma and maybe it's not for you, and that's okay" she smiles looking at me

"i know i just get worried leaving you and leo"

"well first of all, you know nothing can and will get between our friendship. and leo has caused you nothing but trouble this last month. you need to just call a quits cause it's been way too long and he never even asked you to be his girlfriend or anything!" she exclaims with an unhappy look on her face

"i know i know. i do think ill go i just don't want you to think i'm leaving you for ever" i pout slightly

"absolutely not el, you're my best friend and i know we support each other through everything no matter where we are in the country" she said getting of her bed to give me a hug

"i love you so much tate" i breath into the hug

"i love you to elodie, now go tell trevor that you'll be seeing him before next semester!" she squeals

"i will after i tell leo, and the cheer team, and administrative department" i laugh

"good luck" she smiles 

now feeling the craziest sense of relief but a new wave of stress as i have to literally tell everyone i am just up and leaving halfway through the year. not even knowing where to start, i decide to get the hard part out of the way. which is telling leo

elodie
hey leo do you think we could talk?

leo
yeah you can come over whenever

elodie
okay i'll be over soon

walking into leo's dorm building and letting him know i was there a new wave of nervous butterflies flutter through my stomach. still not sure how he'd react to the whole thing. obviously we've gotten pretty close over the last few months

i give a quick knock on his door before he lets me in. walking in and taking a seat in my usual spot in his room. i feel a wave of nauseousness spiral through my body, causing chills to cover my skin making my arm hairs stick straight up. i knew i had to end whatever i had with leo soon with the way he'd been acting. i wasn't gonna jeep surrounding myself in this and have it continue over to my future in california

"hey" i say letting a deep breath out. "i have some news and i wanted to make sure you were one of the first people to hear it" i say with a smile. while i don't expect him to be happy for me. i'm still hopeful

"yeah okay what is it"

"well i got offered an internship" i start "and it's with the anaheim ducks in california"

"so you're leaving oklahoma?" he immediately questions

"yeah im leaving after this semester is over. it's a really good opportunity and i'll get to live with trev an-"

"and what you're just gonna leave what we had here and forget about it?" he voices loudly, standing up from his once seated position

"i mean i guess. i think it'll be a great experience" i shrug my shoulders

"yeah whatever. i guess what we had didn't mean anything to you"

"leo we were never even officially together. you may act like we were but we weren't. i'm doing what's good for me" i get up "im glad we got to spend some time together but i know what's best for me and you are not it" i say, walking out of there as fast as i can

hello so sorry i haven't updated i have been so busy but school is over and i am ready to GRIND. this chapter was so shit i am so sorry but i hope you will forgive me and enjoy 🙏 #blessup