Shassie oneshots, i guess

Shawn Goes Grocery Shopping

Summary: Shawn doesn't like the list of groceries Lassiter gave him, so he comes up with better alternatives.

Notes: First fic I've written in about *checks calendar* over two weeks holy shit. Anyways, enjoy!

Side Note: written for the-heart-of-leo on tumblr. And also based off this tumblr post: https://www.tumblr.com/iceeericeee-reblogs/749008938346889216?source=share

Word Count: 552

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Deep breath, deep breath, Carlton. Remember, Shawn's never had to get actual groceries for anyone but himself. Lassiter turned to face his husband, who was sitting on the kitchen counter. "Shawn. I'm gonna go through this with you again, just to make sure we're on the same page. Okay?"

"Copy that, Lassinator."

Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out a small list. "So, I sent you to the grocery store with this list to get some items we need, correct?"

Shawn nodded.

"And on of those things was a block of sharp cheddar cheese. Which I needed to make our Shepherds Pie for dinner tonight. What did you bring back?"

Reaching behind him, he grabbed one of the bags to reveal what he got. "I got cheese sticks for dinner tonight."

"Cheese sticks." Lassiter parroted. "Something that cannot go on a Shepherd's Pie. Something that we are going to be having for dinner tonight instead, along with leftover pasta."

"Sounds good to me, babe." Shawn grinned.

Lassiter just sighed. "While on the topic of dinner, I also asked for carrots. What did you get instead?"

"Carrot cake, for when we finish eating the cheese sticks."

"And when I asked for bananas, the thing I have for breakfast every morning, what did you bring back?"

"Banana bread. Which, honestly Lassie, is such an upgrade. You should be thanking me."

It was better, if Lassiter was being honest. But that wasn't the point. "I also asked for 6 kiwis. You know, to go with the bananas-"

"Wait, but I did get six kiwis, Lassie!"

"Shawn." Lassiter sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You got six boxes of kiwis. Ten kiwis per box. That's sixty. Sixty kiwis."

"I thought you really liked kiwis."

"Since when-!" Calm down, calm down. "Okay, next thing. Croissants."

"Cinnamon rolls are so much better Lassie. And I like it when you get up early just to bake them for breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like a delicious haven of sugary baked goods. They make me want to float to whatever windowsill they may be resting on while they cool off."

Lassiter smiled a little bit at Shawn's goofiness. Okay, maybe the substitute wasn't terrible. He was still a little peeved though, since he had been craving croissants. He moved on to the next item.

"Cucumbers." He reached over to grab said vegetable, and held it up. "These weren't even on the list."

"Oh, I had something else in mind for them, maybe later tonight?" Shawn bit his lip and winked.

Lassiter blushed a fiery red. "D- uhh- m-moving on." He shook himself off. "Finally, when I said I needed chapstick-"

"I got you Vaseline. Pineapple Vaseline, which I'm surprised even exists. And really, who uses chapstick anymore? Vaseline is like, so much cheaper and it works the same!"

"Shawn, I don't think you understand." Again reaching over inside the bag next to Shawn, he grabbed the large tub his husband had bought. "I can't take this anywhere with me."

"Sure you can! Just... carry it like- like a..." Shawn faltered. "...a baby?"

"Like a baby?" He asked incredulously.

"Or something like that."

Lassiter just sighed, and took another look at all of the groceries. "I think I should just go shopping for us from now on."

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Notes: thanks so much for reading this! I had a lot of fun writing it :)