Shassie oneshots, i guess

You're Just Drunk...

Summary: Lassiter and Juliet are investigating a bar and grill that's been suspected of being a money laundering scheme, except when they come in to finally bust them they find it completely abandoned. Save for one very plastered psychic.

Notes: This is yet another whump-shot I've written for the whump event. Except I kinda strayed from the whump aspect... just a bit. But it's actually pretty cute, imho

Whumperless Whump event Day 16: Say Goodbye To Filters

Word Count: 1,885

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Lassiter had been investigating and poring over evidence and separate reports of a certain bar and grill in the downtown area.

All of the math wasn't adding up. There had to be something going on in the background.

A little more deep searching with Juliet told them that it was, in fact, a scheme. A money laundering scheme to be specific. All the evidence in the files and the other little details confirmed it.

Currently, the two detectives — along with two other officers — were at the small building, guns drawn and preparing to burst in and catch the patrons red handed.

Lassiter nodded to Juliet, and kicked the door to the bar down, keeping his gun raised. "Freeze!"

"Hands in the air!"

Silence surrounded the place, save for the jukebox in the corner playing soft psychedelic rock. Something a little out of place for a bar and grill. Then again, it was already strange enough that it was completely empty.

"-feel so happy. But mostly, you just make me mad..."

Sitting at the back in front of the abandoned bar was one lonely soul, hunched over the counter and nursing a bottle of alcohol. He mumbled to himself, rocking back and forth.

"Spencer? What the hell are you doing here?"

Shawn's head shot up, and he almost fell off his bar stool. But that didn't deter him, and he looked at Lassiter with a big grin. "Lassie! Hey! Hey, what- what are you doing here?" He looked to the left and saw Juliet. "Jules! Julessss... hi."

The two lowered their firearms slightly. The other officers however kept roving the place, checking for anyone that could be hiding. "Shawn, what are you doing here? Where did the patrons go?"

"The who?"

"The people behind the bar, did you see where they went?"

Shawn spun drunkenly in his stool to look around, seemingly just noticing the lack of people. "Wait... where'd everyone go?"

Lassiter couldn't help but drag a hand down his exhausted face. "O'Hara, I'll deal with Spencer. You, Dobson, and McNab check the back and make sure no one's hiding."

"Copy." She and the other two men raised their guns once more and cautiously entered the back.

Lassiter holstered his gun and stepped up to where Shawn was half sitting on the bar stool. "How many of those have you had?"

He looked like he actually had to think about it. "Hmmmm..." Shawn brought a hand up and started counting on his fingers, missing a couple and counting imaginary digits. He paused, finger hovering over a nonexistent one. He held his hand up to his face and, after some contemplating, placed it over Lassiter's.

His brain short-circuited. He could feel his nose being smushed against Shawn's wide palm, and the prodding of  fingers moving around wherever they could. 'He's drunk he's drunk he's drunk he's drunk-' "Spencer, get your hand off my face." His voice came out muffled.