𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐬 | l. lovegood

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"𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍?"

Harry had also overheard the conversation between Draco and Snape. When they arrived at the Weasleys for Christmas dinner, he had the same idea as Dorothea to alert the adults.

They were sitting in the living room at the Burrow with Tonks and Remus. Dorothea was on the floor in front of her older sister, Porcus curled up in her lap. She petted him as she sucked on a candy cane, allowing Harry to do all the talking as he filled the two Order members in.

"Has it occurred to either of you that Snape was simply pretending to offer Draco help so he could find out what he was up to?" Remus asked them.

"That's not what it sounded like," Harry argued. "Thea heard it, too. She's been spying on Draco for months, and she knows he's up to something. Something dangerous. And Snape's in on it."

"Perhaps Harry and Thea are right, Remus," Tonks said, gently rubbing Dorothea's shoulder when she leaned her head back in her lap. "I mean, to make an Unbreakable Vow—"

"It comes down to whether or not you trust Dumbledore's judgment," Remus interrupted. "Dumbledore trusts Snape, therefore, I do."

"Dumbledore can make mistakes, he said so himself—"

"You're blinded by hatred!" Remus snapped at Harry, making Dorothea jump. She hugged Porcus close to her and brought her knees up to her chest.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are." Remus lowered his voice before continuing. "People are disappearing, Harry, daily. We can only place our trust in a handful of people. If we start fighting amongst ourselves, we're doomed."

Dorothea sighed softly. Porcus licked her face, which was sticky from Christmas candy. When Remus left the living room, Tonks getting up to follow, she stood up and went with them.

The rest of the adults – Molly, Arthur, Ted, and Andromeda – were speaking in the kitchen. Dorothea pulled up a chair between her parents at the table. She pulled on her headphones and clicked on her Walkman.

Along with some new music, she'd received a journal of all things from her mum when she opened her presents that morning. She knew that this one most likely wasn't cursed with the spirit of a teenage Tom Riddle, but she was still apprehensive about writing in it. She took it out of the small bag she'd brought with her to the Weasleys along with a pen – a Muggle writing tool that her dad had given her.

She checked to make sure that no one was trying to peek at what she was going to write before pressing her pen to the paper.

Hi. I don't know how these things work. Am I supposed to start each entry with "Dear Diary"?

No. That's stupid. This is a journal, not a diary. I don't even know what I'm supposed to write. Mum thinks that it would be "good for me" to write my feelings down, but the last time I did that...Nevermind. It's not important.

Um, let's see. I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Thea Tonks. I'm 15 years old, and I'm a 5th year student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My mother is a pureblood and my father is Muggle-born, making me and my older sister half-bloods – not that blood status even matters to me. We could all be Squibs and I wouldn't mind in the slightest. I'd love them just the same.

This year has been weird, mostly because I've developed feelings for my best friend. Love is a strange thing to think about at a time like this; a time where Death Eaters could attack at any moment and we could all end up dead. I wonder if I would still be feeling like this if there weren't any threats from dark wizards.

I probably would.

Feelings have always been something I've never known how to express or talk about. I take things out on myself when I'm frustrated, I shut down and refuse to talk when I'm sad, I lash out when people make me mad...What am I supposed to do when I have a crush on someone? What am I supposed to do if that someone is someone that society wouldn't approve of me being with since we're both girls?

Mum would know what to do. She went through something similar when she ran away and married my dad. Purebloods don't approve of soiling their pure magical bloodlines by marrying Muggles or Muggle-borns in the same way that society doesn't approve of boys dating boys or girls dating girls.

Okay, so maybe they aren't the same exact thing, but they are in a way. It's not that I'm afraid of telling her or my dad. They've always been so understanding and supportive of everything, like my older sister dating a werewolf, but this is...different. Mum wouldn't disown me like her family disowned her, right? ...Right?

I know I'm overthinking things. I wish there was a spell to make my brain shut up. It feels like I'm drowning in an ocean of my own thoughts and there's no lifeboats around to save me from the water.

Dorothea stared down at everything she had written. She'd never give her mum the pleasure of knowing this, but she did feel a bit better getting that off her chest. She didn't even need to think about what she was going to write. It just came to her.

"Thea." Andromeda gently tapped her youngest daughter's shoulder. Dorothea quickly closed her journal so that she couldn't see anything. "It's time to go, love."

Dorothea yawned sleepily. She hadn't even realized how late it was. She put her journal away in her bag and followed her parents, sister, and Remus to the front door. Porcus trotted beside her as they walked outside, the cold December wind blowing her short hair.

"We're all gonna be safe," Dorothea sang quietly, distracting herself from the eerie darkness as she walked down the path towards the long blades of grass surrounding the Burrow. "And we're all gonna have a great time—"

There was a loud whooshing noise. Her head shot up, and she looked around, swallowing nervously.

"What the Merlin's beard was that?"

A circle of fire suddenly lit up the pitch black night. Andromeda pulled Dorothea back as Bellatrix Lestrange appeared. She smirked at them before running off. Harry ran out of the house and sprinted after her, Ginny right behind him with Arthur following close behind. Remus and Tonks rushed forward to tame the fire before hurrying off to find the others.

Dorothea tried to follow her sister, but Andromeda gripped her arms tightly so that she couldn't. She stared anxiously out into the overgrown field. The sound of spells blasting could be heard faintly in the distance until everything went quiet.

Too quiet.

Porcus squealed in fright when a couple of Death Eaters blasted through the Burrow, engulfing it in flames. Ted picked the pig up so that he couldn't run off, and Dorothea watched with wide eyes as the Weasleys' home burned down before them.