Bring The Rain

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Ara's POV

By Wednesday Mike was finally leaving the house. He had been working from home the last two days insisting on staying with Zahir and I and I knew he was keeping a close eye on me after the incident on Sunday. He felt responsible for what happened to me, even after I told him countless times that neither of us could have known that Javier would be at the farmers market searching for me.
It was now too late to report the incident to the police. Mike explained that if someone violates a protective order then it has to be reported immediately and with some form of evidence. The bruise on my arm was already healed with just a slightly darker tint remaining. I really didn't want to see another judge or the cops so Mike agreed to let the situation die. This however didn't stop him from worrying about my safety. He constantly checked on me and asked me to keep in contact with him if I had to leave the house. He was starting to get annoying but I knew his actions were that of concern and not meant to be controlling.
Even though he did his best to keep track of me, things have been strange between us since Sunday night. Although he checks on me constantly I feel as though he's trying his best to avoid me or keep his distance. I miss his forehead kisses and of course his big bear hugs. That night after the run-in with Javier I thought that maybe there was something between us but obviously I was the only one feeling that way. I thought he was going to kiss me when he said all those sweet things to me. Now I felt so dumb. Clearly I misread all the signs and I realize that he just felt bad for me. After all I was only his nanny, he needed me to take care of his child's needs, not his own.
He really shook some sense into me that night and now I didn't feel as worthless as Javier had led me to believe. But my ego was still deflated whenever I thought of Javier and those other women he treated so much better than me. I just couldn't understand what it was about me that made him so angry, why couldn't he treat me the way he treated those other women.
I felt even worse when I thought about Mike. He was a married man and I had no right to feel this way about him; but I couldn't control my emotions. He was the first man to make me feel appreciated. Where Javier put me down and made me feel worthless, Mike always lifted me up and gave me words of encouragement. This was my own fault, I was taking his kindness as a form of affection. I let myself believe he actually felt something for me.
I needed to focus on something other than my growing affection for Mike; like my coming graduation day. It was fast approaching and I still hadn't found the courage to send the invitation to my parents or call them. Tara was pushing me to contact them but I just wasn't ready for another rejection and hearing that from my own family would break my heart. I didn't know where to begin or how I could show them how sorry I was for everything I put them through.
My parents had big dreams for me and the older I got the more I realized their continuous snooping and rules were meant to protect me. The more they tried to protect me the more I acted out; the constant sneaking out, skipping school, and of course the Javier situation all added up to my parents hating me now. I tried talking to Mike about it and he assured me that no matter what Zahir did he would never deny his child love, he insisted that a parent could never hate their child. I wanted to believe him but after years of self doubt and Javier's constant belittling I just couldn't believe that my family's relationship could be mended.
"Ah-Ah, eat please"! Zahir's whining snapped my attention away from my worries and immediately to him. He was eating some fruit that I cut into small pieces for him and was now demanding more. "Zahir just a little bit more and that's it. You already had lunch hungry monster". He giggled at the nickname that I recently gave him. He could be a real monster when hungry and that was usually all the time but he was now doing so much better at asking politely and using real words. I'd been working with him as best I could but today was his first day of a real speech therapy lesson.
The therapist that Tara recommended finally had an opening and Mike jumped at the chance to have Zahir seen. He had to leave for work early this morning but we planned to meet at the therapist's office at 1:00 PM. Mike left before breakfast and he told me that he occasionally works through lunch and survives off of coffee for most of the day. I hated to think that he was working long hours while starving himself.
For lunch I made chicken quesadillas and even though Zahir and I ate way too many I still had plenty leftover. I decided to pack them while it was still hot and added a few water bottles and more cut slices of pineapples and mango in a small picnic basket. If Mike couldn't have a decent lunch with us then we would bring it to him.
I loaded the food and Zahir into my car and made my way downtown to Mike's office building. It was massive but blended in perfectly with the numerous skyscrapers that crowded the downtown area. I hadn't told Zahir of our plan to visit his dad but as we pulled into the large parking garage he looked around excitedly and stated "dada".
That was the first time I'd ever heard him say that and to my knowledge he'd never referred to Mike as his father. I knew Mike didn't want to push Zahir into calling him dad, especially after he lost his birth parents so tragically. This was just a step in the right direction and once he started his speech classes I'm sure he'll be speaking perfectly in no time.
I grabbed our things and headed into the building. I couldn't wait to tell Mike what new word Zahir could say. The inside of the building was busy with fast moving individuals who seemed too wrapped up in their own world to stop and help me. It was lunchtime and most people were probably trying to get something to eat and get back to work as quickly as they could; many of the people shuffling about were dressed as food delivery services from various nearby restaurants.
I picked up Zahir and balanced him on my hip, I was so concerned that he would get away from me in the maze of people. I eventually found a directory board with the location of every company that was housed in the large building. Mike's company took up the top four floors alone so I wasn't sure just how I was going to find his office but I really wanted our visit to be a surprise so I didn't call him to ask for directions. We made our way to the elevators and headed for the twenty seventh floor.
As we made our way up the once packed elevator began to dwindle until there was only myself, Zahir, and a small framed woman remaining. She looked down and bit her nails as we rode the rest of the way up. She looked nervous or anxious as if she were scared. She gave me a strange vibe and I pulled Zahir closer to me as the elevator moved in silence. The moment the doors opened a short pudgy man appeared and grabbed the woman roughly by the arm and they walked out of sight but I could vaguely hear him angrily whispering to her; "what the fuck took you so long? Do you understand how bad it looks when I have to wait for you"! I couldn't hear her response as he maneuvered the two of them down a hallway and away from prying eyes. The guy gave me the creeps but now I see why she looked so nervous. This guy clearly had some issues and the way he spoke to her reminded me so much of how Javier would question me for every little thing, only he wouldn't mind shouting and pushing or slapping me around to get his point across.
I walked in the opposite direction wanting to get as far away from that man as possible, I felt terrible for her but after being in that situation myself I didn't have the strength to protect her; I was barely able to protect myself. I wandered around in search of Mike or anyone that could lead me to him but the thought of that couple stayed in my mind.
I found a group of women who were whispering and laughing amongst themselves. I know workplace drama when I see it and I could tell these were clearly the 'mean girls' of the office. They displayed perfectly clear cream colored skin, long manicured nails and dressed almost identical in their tightly fitted office attire. I had to admit they were gorgeous girls and I would rather steer clear of them but there was no one else in sight so I had to suck it up and ask for help. "Excuse me", the trio looked my way with very unimpressed expressions, I was obviously interrupting something. The leader of the little group spoke first "You must be here for the cleaning position, the interviews haven't started yet so you can wait downstairs". She waved her hand as if brushing me away and continued her conversation. I held my tongue but there was a lot I wanted to say to the perfectly put together 'mean girl'. I took a deep breath and tried my best to sound professional "I'm actually not here for a job interview, I'm looking for Michael Taylor". Their unimpressive expressions now turned to confusion and the lead snickered in response, "What exactly do you need with Mr. Taylor? We're not a charity here and Mr. Taylor doesn't do Pro bono cases for the needy".
Now they were really starting to piss me off, "Not that it's any of your concern but I'm sure he'd be more than happy to his son, now can you tell me where I can find him or are you too incompetent of handling that?" I could tell I struck a nerve, she was appalled. I'm sure no one had ever spoken to her like that before and she needed to be knocked off her high horse. Before she could respond another woman came strutting down the hall in six inch designer stilettos. "Zahir!" She shouted when she saw him and held out her arms for a hug. He happily jumped into her embrace giving her a big hug. It was clear that this woman had some type of relationship with him and hopefully she could lend me a hand. She pulled away from his hug and focused on the trio of mean girls with a cold glance, "Is there a reason you're still here and not getting some work done"? She gestured to the leader of the trio; "Bella I asked you to get those contracts sent out this morning and Mr. Taylor just told me that the office still hasn't received them! And you two have plenty of paperwork you need to be filing". She waved the group off and just like that they scurried away but not before giving the two of us dirty looks.
The woman then turned to me with a smile showing off her pearly white teeth. She looked like a playboy model in her short mid thigh length black pencil skirt and white button up that barely contained her protruding cleavage. Her long blonde hair cascaded down her back in loose waves and her boobs looked even bigger than my own against her small frame. She stuck out her hand for me to shake, "I'm Savannah" she stated cheerfully. I introduced myself and asked for help in finding Mike. She offered to take me to the top floor where his office was located.
"So how do you know Mr.Taylor"? It was obvious I wasn't going to avoid small talk with this woman but she was the friendliest person I'd met in the building so far. "I watch Zahir during the day or whenever Mr. and Mrs. Taylor are preoccupied". She steered the conversation to herself and talked about how much she loved working with Mike as we made our way through a maze of offices and hallways. She gave off subtle hints that her relationship with Mike may have been more than just that of coworkers and it was getting under my skin.
Savannah was strikingly similar to Mrs. Taylor with the lip fillers, fake boobs, and long bottle dyed blonde hair. I began to think that must be Mike's type. There were hundreds of beautiful and talented women in the world but of course most successful men flocked to the easy ones that treated them terribly and used them. All they cared about was having a pretty blonde on their arm, a trophy wife to show off to the world.
I couldn't help but compare myself to the two women. My wide hips and heavier hourglass figure definitely outweighed their smaller model type bodies. Where my hair was a wild type 4 curly fro they had perfect waves that flowed down their back. Growing up I always loved myself, my body, and my hair. I had a family and community of people that enforced black is beautiful in every shade and shape. Once I met Javier he made me see all my imperfections and I began to hate myself, those thoughts came rushing back at times like this when I was forced to be in the company of someone who defined the world's standard of beauty.
I started to think that as much as Mike tried to make me feel better about myself he really didn't mean all those sweet things he said. I clearly wasn't someone that he could find attractive. I was the complete opposite of what he thought was beautiful. My negative thoughts drowned out Savannah's words and I didn't pay attention to what she was saying until we finally reached the last wooden door in the long corridor. "Right through here" she stated while knocking. We heard Mike shout a harsh "come in" and she pushed the door open sauntering her way into the office like she belonged there.
He was on the phone but his eyes were pinned to the numerous papers strewn around his desk. He sat hunched over his desk and even though I could barely see his face from this angle I knew instantly that he was stressed. "What is it now, Savannah"? He sounded as if he wanted to get rid of her and not like a man who enjoyed her company. She however seemed unfazed by this and walked right up to him getting a little too close in his personal space. "You have visitors" she stated while rubbing his shoulders.
He brushed her away as he turned to us. His grumpy appearance quickly changed to a bright smile once our eyes met and my knees felt weak. All he had to do was give me that smirk and I was instantly happy, almost giddy just to be in his presence. He motioned for us to sit down on a brown leather couch that sat in the corner of his office. He waved Savannah away which she obviously didn't like but it gave me the satisfaction of knowing he wasn't as interested in her as she described.
We sat down while I admired his spacious office and Zahir happily played games on his tablet while we waited for Mike to finish his work. He spoke quietly on the phone but I knew under his calm demeanor was a man that was fed up with that conversation. "Look Heather I really don't care what you do at this point. I'm taking my name off of all of your credit cards and as for the ones you've already maxed out you can take care of them yourself, I need to go". He hung up the phone and took a deep calming breath. Any conversation with that woman had to be tiring and as much as I wanted to ask about the situation I thought it would be best to let him forget about it.
The moment he hung up the phone he was out of his chair and standing in front of us in two quick steps. He took Zahir from my lap and bounced him in his arms while telling him how much he missed his little man. Zahir laughed at his fathers antics and he placed him on the couch beside me. "I missed you too". Just his presence alone could make me weak but his sultry voice really did things to me I didn't want to admit. "Me"? I questioned. He replied with that signature smirk, "of course you"! He pulled me into his arms and gave me one of those big bear hugs that I'd been missing so much. I almost melted on the spot! I didn't realize just how much I missed being this close to him until now, I wanted him to never let go. "I missed you too" I finally said once I found the strength to pull away from his embrace.
"I didn't want you going all day long with nothing to eat so we brought you a little picnic". Mike thanked me for bringing him food because he was starving and told me multiple times how delicious the food was. While he ate Zahir sat on his lap and happily helped himself to his fathers meal. I knew he couldn't have been very hungry but Mike never complained and allowed him to eat most of the fruit from his plate. When I told Mike about Zahir calling him 'dada' his eyes lit up with happiness. "I've never heard him say that. Heather brought him here a few times before she started throwing him into whatever daycare she could find or leaving him with sitters. He probably recognized where he was''.
I rolled my eyes as I stated "Savannah sure seemed to enjoy seeing him". The comment was laced with sarcasm, she obviously saw him as a way of getting closer to Mike. He smirked at me, "Don't get jealous Ara, you're definitely Zahir's favorite person... mine too" he said as he gently caressed my leg. This man didn't understand the emotional whirlwind I felt when he said things like that but I was determined not to allow myself to believe that he wanted anything other than a friendship with me.
I got up from the couch and began collecting the dirty tupperware containers. "Zahir's therapy session starts in thirty minutes and we should get there a little early". Mike agreed and after helping me clean he held Zahir and the picnic basket with his right arm. He gently took my hand in his own wrapping our fingers together , leading us out of his office. Why did this man insist on touching me? It's not that his physical affection was unwanted, in fact it was just the opposite. I wanted to always be with him, just to be near him, to hold his hand and hug and kiss him as much as I wanted; but how could I bring myself to cross those boundaries with another woman's husband. Even if he no longer wanted to be married to Heather he was still my boss and that would make any relationship weird.
As I thought about Mike's failing marriage I realized that he was currently holding onto me with his left hand and felt no sign of a wedding ring. How did I not notice that before? I stole glances of his ring finger as we walked and there didn't even seem to be a tan line, as if he hadn't worn his wedding band in months. I tried to shake the thought from my mind. It didn't matter if he had a ring or not he was still married and I was still carrying around unresolved trauma from my last relationship.
It would be a bad idea to put myself out there right now and an even worse idea to go there with my employer. For now I would have to settle with having Mike as a friend and my boss, and I told myself that there could be nothing else between us.