Bring The Rain

Chapter 9

   BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! The screeching sound of the alarm clock pulled me away from my peaceful sleep causing me to shoot up from my bed. 'Am I late? Where's Javier? How much time do I have to cook breakfast for him?' These thoughts and more raced through my head as I jumped from the bed and shut off the alarm. It took a few seconds for me to remember where I was and how I had gotten here. All of the fear that was rising in my body began to subside as I realized that I was safe. There was no breakfast that I needed to cook and no one laying in bed next to me. For the first time in two years I could wake up unafraid of what the day may bring. 
   I took a moment to calm my nerves; I had two hours before I needed to be at my new job but I wanted to look my best. I brushed my teeth and freshened up as I decided what to wear. I didn't have many options but I settled with a beige skirt and white peplum blouse. I layed the outfit on the bed and grabbed more applesauce and crackers for breakfast. I was already tired of eating this stuff but I thought it would be safe to save the little money that I had remaining. I still needed to put gas in my car in order to get to Mrs. Taylor's home and it would be two weeks or more before I got my first paycheck.
   As I dipped the salty crackers in the applesauce container I picked up my cheap tracfone, it read one missed call and one new voicemail. My stomach was in knots, there was no way of Javier finding me, he couldn't have this number, no one had it. My fingers were shaking as I entered my password, clicking on the missed call icon I saw the saved number flash on my screen 'Mrs. Taylor'; Thank God! I could breath now knowing it was only her that had called but another fear arose, was she calling to cancel our agreement? I punched in my PIN number to unlock my voicemail and listened closely. Mrs. Taylor sounded as if she had been drinking heavily, her words slurred and in the middle of the message she began to laugh for no reason. If I heard her correctly she was telling me that I no longer needed to come in at 7 but she wanted me to arrive by noon. I was concerned that my new employer would think that it was appropriate to call and leave me a message at 3:45 in the morning but I was thankful that I still had a job to go to. 
   Now that I had time to spare I could go back to sleep, but my nervousness wouldn't allow me to get any rest. I counted the money that I had left; after paying for the motel room I had $265 remaining and it would cost $40 to fill my tank. I could definitely survive two weeks with the rest of the money, if all of my rooming expenses were covered by the Taylor family I would only have to buy gas for my car. Maybe I could even afford to eat more than applesauce and crackers; ramen noodles were always an option.
   I decided I would limit the amount of money I spent on food and buy as little as possible; Javier had done more than enough to make me feel like I was a whale and I always knew that I was slightly overweight. Maybe this would give me the push I needed to lose a few pounds. After I finished eating a few more crackers I put the rest away and grabbed my phone. This motel may be a dump but they did have free WiFi, I used it to download the blackboard app to my phone and checked my grades. All of my professors had updated the scores and entered the results from the finals. I passed! I was so excited and proud of myself, I'd never worked this hard at school or my grades. I barely graduated high school, with a GPA of 1.9 I struggled to finish school and was unsure what I wanted to do with my life. No one had much hope that I would make it to college, but look at me now! I worked my ass off those two years of college and my final GPA was a 3.0! I wanted to call my parents and share my good news and just for a moment I thought about telling Javier. I hated to admit this but a small part of me was starting to miss him, he was the first man I ever loved, how could I forget that. 
   I held the phone in my hand staring at it and I actually questioned if I should call him. How could I be so dumb, before I met him I never would have imagined I would allow myself to become a woman in an abusive relationship. But here I was on the run from him with no support from my family, low self esteem, little money, and fear; and it was all because of Javier. Part of me hated him, I wanted to see him dead, I wanted him to suffer the way he made me suffer. Losing my baby, being slapped, kicked, forced to have sex with him and constantly picked on or put down. I felt as if I had suffered mentally emotionally and physically by being with him. So why the fuck did I want to be with him right now? Why did I want him to hold me and talk about our future, why did I miss a man who hurt me so bad?
    My phone screen became blurry and I realized I was crying, and not just a few tears but I was truly sobbing. I put the phone down, threw myself on the bed and wept. All of the emotions that I had been holding onto were coming to the surface, I can't begin to describe the various feelings but they were all hitting me at once. My crying fit lasted an hour and finally when I had no tears left to shed my entire body was tired, I closed my eyes and slept. 

Later
   My head was pounding and I felt like I had a hangover but I didn't bother to open my eyes. This time I knew where I was, I was safe, I remember crying for what felt like forever but I needed it. I was holding in all of my emotions for two years, praying that Javier would change but subconsciously knowing that he never would. I was finally facing the truth, Javier was never good for me, and I would make sure that I would never allow myself to be in a relationship like that again.
   I pulled myself out of bed and groggily made my way to the bathroom. I grimaced when I looked in the mirror; my eyes were puffy and red from all the crying that I had done earlier. I washed my face with cold water and tried my best to look presentable and not like I had been up for hours drinking my pain away. After doing the best that I could to fix my appearance I headed back to the bed room and glanced at the red lit alarm clock that sat on the bedside table. I panicked when it read 11:24; how the hell did I sleep for six hours! It would take thirty minutes to get to the address that Mrs. Taylor sent me, even longer if traffic was bad. I got dressed as quickly as I could and packed the few items that I had brought into the motel. I loaded everything into my car and made my way towards I-95. Unfortunately for me there was a slight back up getting onto the highway but it only managed to hold me up for a few moments and that was all the time I needed to check out of the motel with an app on my phone. As I tried my best not to speed I prayed that I would make it there safely and in time, I also asked God to please allow this job to work out in my favor because nothing would stand in my way of escaping my old life.