And in this tethered dress
Of feathers and yellow-gold daffodils,
I feel it coming.
O how you stood there so prettily,
Your tan, big body heavy
And moving to the rhythm of your deep, diaphragmatic breaths.
If I listened closely,
I heard your topaz jewels clank;
Clanking, clanking, clanking
To the sound of your false lover screaming
In the way you liked him to,
As if he had really enjoyed it.
And maybe I did,
I have always liked the way your gardener's tan colored
Against the white dotted scars on your arms.
And I had gone for the veins,
I had cut them
With every box-cutter I could find
Until the sewing machine drawer and toy boxes
Emptied on their own,
And there were arrows in your chest.
O, how unrequited and pathetic
That I long to live
And live to long
For the strange and alien validation
I had wanted you to give me.
So try!
Tell me about your life, you blond-haired fool,
Tell me about how much you hate growing old,
How much you think I am lying
When I debate you are unsure of loving me.
Tell me about how much you love
The reason why I ran away from home,
And how much you love it
When I cry to you in the same bed
We had been sleeping together in for centuries-
The very same bed I gave myself to you
In an upheaval of my thinking.
Just wait!
Don't look at me like that!
Hold the confusion, my giant,
There is still so much we don't know about each other.
