The Journey Of US || A Seventeen FF

77

👶Mother fucker!
Sandwiching your face between your palms and puckering your lips a couple of times, you brace yourself to meet your beloved boyfriends.

🍚Mickey!?
Jihoon wonders prompting 12 heads to follow his gaze,

👶Hey👋🏻
You wave in little with a sheepish smile,

⚔️For fucks sake, can't you just answer your damn phone?
Seokmin crushes you to his body and scolds aloud,

👶I fell asleep-

🍊The moment you stepped out of the house!?

🐯Don't just disappear on us again, ever. Take your time, do whatever you want, but just answer that stupid thing when it rings,
He sighs pulling you down to the sofa.

The awkwardness remains as none spoke anything. You didn't dare to look up at anyone as you sat between Hoshi and Seungkwan. You could feel different gazes on you the entire time,

🍒Is that a new cast?
You were startled by him but nodded nonetheless,
He wanted to ask further but he kept silent and you looked down once again,

The waiter came by the third time you presumed and this time Dino took the initiative and ordered food for everyone.

.

👶I am sorry,
You slowly look up with an apologetic smile,

👶I was selfish and stupid,

😇Yes you were! You still are!

👶But I can't help it alright? I want to be with you but I don't want to disappoint anyone. I want to get better but I don't want to stand up for myself. I want to stop caring but want to care at the same time... And I can't help it. Tell me what should I do?

🦌You've to decide for yourself. It's up to you how you wanna face it,

👶I'm not sure, I have no idea,

🍊We've decided for ourselves, we all have made it clear. We are firm on our stands,

👶I know that-

🐯What's stopping you?

👶I told you already I don't want to disappoint anyone,

🦖Then what about disappointing us? Don't we mean anything?

👶You do, but there's nothing for you to be disapp-

🐸Nothing? You think not defending our relationship doesn't disappoint us? Or you think it's not necessary?
He scoffs as you narrow your eyes at the statement,

👶What does that mean?

🐸Unless you have a change of mind, of course-

👶Excuse me? Are you implying something?

🐸No, I'm just saying what I'm seeing,

👶Like what, I don't want to continue this? What, you think I'm after your money and fame?

😺He never said that,

👶Oh, he could've, but I interrupted. Is it what you all think? I was with you bec-

🐢He didn't mean any of that, Mickey. He is j-

👶Don't defend him-

🦊Why are you getting worked up over this? You were all quiet and obedient and whatnot when everyone was brawling at you-

👶Anyone would've behaved that way a-

🦖You are okay with all that?

👶No, but I get them,

🍚Get them my foot,

👶You would've done the same too,

⚔️I would never,

👶You would. It's easy to preach-

🍒I think we know ourselves better than you do,

👶Sure. I don't know anything... But let me tell you, when you become a parent one day you will find yourself in their shoes,

🐶But that doesn't mean we will behave barbarously. No matter what or how you try to defend them, nothing's going to change. You may not care but it rips our hearts apart when someone insults you!

👶You never know, imagine your son comes up to you claiming he loves a girl and a few more people are involved in th-

🍚So what isn't that what we have?

👶You're thinking as a lover, not as a parent. What if the girl he loves is an utter failure? What if she is broken and is struggling through her life? I'm that girl, yes, I've been hiding under the mask of my Father's death, but you can't deny I'm broken. And I'm mentally unstable too-

🦖N-

👶Yes, I am. Wanting to scar across my wrist with a blade every time I see those green veins beating against my skin is not normal and I'm not stable... So you'd do the same, try to protect your son,

🍒It's his choice. He chose this no one forced it on him. It's his life, his burden to carry,

👶She's a burden... I'm a burden,

😇She is and... You are. A burden we are willing to carry, a burden we are willing to take care of and most importantly you are the only burden we love. We don't mind if you are a burden or this is abnormal or if this gets toxic, honestly we don't, know why. Cause we fucking love you, we fucking love you so damn much that we are willing to go against the whole world just to keep you by our side. We don't give a flying fuck what others think, what matters to us is you, Only YOU!

👶I love you too. More than you all could ever imagine, but I'm not strong enough to fight...

⚔️We are not asking you to. We don't care whether you fight for us or not, cause with or without you, WE will fight for US. What we want is for you to fight for yourself, Baby. Stand up for yourself, stop being afraid of everyone...

You look down overwhelmed by the rush of feelings and close your eyes. You peel them open after a few minutes when felt a hand on your shoulder.

Wonwoo cups your face with a soft smile,

🦊Love yourself, Baby. You are worth the whole world. You deserve the entire universe and we are here for you.
He kisses your forehead as you blink your tears away,

Wonwoo feeds you as the table silently sits through the supper. Seungkwan subtly adjusts his shoulder when you lean against him.

👶Forgive me?

😺You should forgive yourself, Love. Let go of the past,

👶I-

🐯We are not rushing you. Take your time. But you should promise you'll try,

🍒Baby we love you the way you are, but you're hard on yourself. Give your inner child a chance to heal and let us take care of you, love you,

You hold your hand out and Seungcheol grabs them with a light squeeze and tears finally stream down your face as you bury your face on Seugnkwan's shoulder as he coos with kisses on your head.