Eat!

9 ~ Candy Kissing

Easter treat. Hope you like it!

Alice

I woke up to the sound of Sam’s snoring.

I sat up soundly, trying not to wake Sam from his sleep, feeling strangely satisfied at the peaceful face he wore. I noticed how the light from the shutters cast lines across his happy, innocent face, and I thought he looked cute. Well, if you forget the drool soaking the pillow beneath his head.

I chuckled softly before slipping out of the sheets. I only had a few seconds to be content before the shock and the surprise seeped in. It didn’t make sense that Sam was here, in my house, sleeping in my bed, wearing my father’s t-shirt, all without my mother knowing. 

Where had the old Alice gone? It felt like Sam had changed me, but I wasn’t sure yet whether it was for better or for worse. He didn’t think I was fat, and he didn’t think I was ugly. Last night, he called me lovely.

Am I lovely?

I removed the bed sheet covering my mirror – I had covered it because I didn’t want to see myself – and for the first time, I really tried to look past what I saw.

My face… It looked so pale. The bags below my eyes were a deep shade of plum. My cheeks – why were there bones showing where my cheeks should be? I looked scary, like some sort of skin and bones skeleton.

Your lovely Alice, you’re lovely just the way you are. I chanted to myself, preparing to roll up my shirt.

I gasped.

“Jesus.”

I saw the ribs protruding through my skin, and I poked them with tender fingers. My stomach looked way too descended to be healthy. I choked back tears as I ran my hands up and down my waist, taking note of how I could almost wrap them all the way around.

“Alice? What are you doing?” came a sleepy voice from my bed.

I didn’t have time to pull my shirt down; Sam took a sharp intake of breath when he saw my body. I snapped my eyes away from his and made a move to pull my shirt down. But Sam had already slipped from the bed and caught my t-shirt in his hand. “Alice-”

“No, Sam. Don’t.” I whispered.

“Do you see now?” he said anyway. “You aren’t fat at all. You’re too skinny, Alice. It worries me how skinny you are.”

No. It wasn’t true. I was fat… or else why would I have seen my huge body in the mirror every day? I didn’t know anymore. It seemed like Sam believed I was skinny so fervently that I was starting to believe it too.

That didn’t mean that what he said was true.

I picked up his clothes and threw them to him. “You should get going. I have school, and if mom wakes up-”

There was a soft thump from next door, and then a sob. Then shuffling. Then the sound of glass smashing as it hit the wall.

“Sam, stay here. Get dressed.” I said.

I didn’t stay long enough to hear his sounds of protest. I slowly pushed open the door, afraid of what I would see on the other side, and made sure to shut it behind me. There was no one in the hallway, and there was silence next door. Another smash sounded from downstairs.

I plodded softly down the steps. In the kitchen, mom was reaching into the cabinet for another plate.

“Mom, stop!” I yelled, just as another plate shattered at her feet. I grabbed her hand just as she burst into tears. Her emotional state meant that I could lead her to the sofa, where she sobbed some more. Her face was red and blotchy from it.