Hearts On The Highrise

Chapter 68 : sacred ground

Tears welled up in my eyes, shaking my head in disbelief. "Why didn't you say all this before?" I asked, my voice choked with emotion.

The weight of Engfa's confession settled heavily upon my shoulders, each word a painful reminder of all that we had lost in the silence of our unspoken truths. And yet, even as I listened to her heartfelt plea, a part of me recoiled from the ease with which she offered her love—too little, too late.

"It's not enough," I whispered, "It's too easy to say you love me now, when it suits you. But where were you when I needed you the most? Where were you when I was drowning in a sea of pain, desperate for a lifeline to pull me back to shore?"

My words lingered in the silence that enveloped us, burdened by the gravity of my disappointment, my shattered hopes. Engfa reached out to me, her touch tentative yet pleading, but I pulled away, unable to bear the sting of her betrayal any longer.

"I don't want to suffer anymore," I declared, my voice trembling with resolve. "I don't want to be with someone who runs away at the first sign of trouble, who hides behind empty promises and false apologies."

Engfa's eyes searched mine, "Do you... not love me anymore?" she asked, the vulnerability in her question piercing through the layers of my resolve.

"It's not about love," I replied, "It's about trust, about knowing that you'll be there when I need you the most. And right now, I don't know if I can trust you again."

"I have to go," I murmured, the weight of my decision heavy upon my shoulders. "I need some time alone."

As I stepped out of the building, the winter air greeted me with a biting chill, sending shivers down my spine. The city streets were bathed in the soft glow of streetlights, casting long shadows that danced across the pavement.

I stood on the sidewalk, my breath forming wispy clouds in the frigid air, feeling utterly lost. Part of me longed to turn back, to return to Engfa's apartment and throw myself into her arms, to succumb to the intoxicating pull of her love. But another part of me hesitated, wary of the ease with which she had offered her affection, fearful that history would repeat itself and she would leave me once again.

As I wrestled with my conflicting emotions, thoughts of Davika intruded upon my mind, adding another layer of complexity to an already tangled web of feelings. I needed her now more than ever, her comforting presence a balm to my wounded soul. But try as I might, I couldn't reach her—she was nowhere to be found.

Guilt gnawed at the edges of my consciousness as I considered the possibility of something more with Davika. Had I been too quick to dismiss her, too blinded by the allure of my past with Engfa to see what was right in front of me? But even as the thought crossed my mind, I knew that I wasn't ready for another relationship, not yet—not when the wounds of my past still bled raw and unhealed.

When I finally arrived home, the late hour weighed on me, the silence of the night enveloping my apartment in a cocoon of stillness. The soft glow of the moon cast a faint light through the curtains, illuminating the room with a silvery-blue haze. Exhausted by the emotional rollercoaster of the day, I sank into bed, the cool sheets against my skin.

Lying there in the darkness, images of Engfa and Davika danced behind my closed eyelids, their faces flickering in and out of focus like shadows in the night. I couldn't bear the thought of losing Davika—the one person who could make me laugh until my sides ached, who could chase away the clouds of my darkest days with just a smile.

As I tossed and turned in bed, unable to find respite in sleep, I couldn't help but wonder when my life would finally find some semblance of peace. Why did everything have to be so complicated, so fraught with uncertainty and doubt?