Cold Hearted | Daerin

Chapter 28

(After a few days)

Danielle's POV

"Please talk to me Danielle," Haerin said holding my hand and turning me around, "You didn't talk to me for days, please," she begged again.

I'm giving her the silent treatment. Do I believe that she pushed Asa away? Not very much.

I'm feeling very self conscious right now. I feel like I'm not good enough. Maybe she didn't tell me because she was considering leaving me for her.

I don't know my head just isn't working right.

"I just wanna go to sleep Haerin," I walked away from her and laid on the side of the bed, facing away from her.

I haven't slept well for the past few days. I just cry and cry as quiet as I can since she's literally laying right next to me.

Sometimes I really wish she would hold me even if I kept pushing her away for the past few days. I want to feel like I still matter to her. I need actions, not words.

Tears ran down my cheeks so I closed my eyes immediately, trying to go to sleep as fast as I could but I kept having this feeling in my chest like I couldn't breathe well. It just hurts very badly.

Then I felt her arms wrap around me from behind, it gave me a comforting feeling I've been missing very much.

She kissed my neck, "Please just tonight," she whispered in my ear. I didn't answer her, I just held her hands and made her wrap her arms tighter around me.

I'm still upset, sad and mad but I need her to hold me for tonight at least. I miss her weird ass.

"I'm sorry-"

I cut her off, "Just shut up Haerin. I don't wanna talk."

***

"When are you gonna talk to me? I thought everything was gonna be fine after yesterday," Haerin said following me around the room since I was getting ready to leave.

"I needed some comfort yesterday. Doesn't mean I'm not hurt anymore."

She held my hand then pulled me closer to her, "Just tell me what I can do to make it up for you," she said.

I pushed her back, "Let me breathe for a second. Don't keep asking me what you can do to make up for it because there is nothing you can do. Just let me have time to think."

"I blocked her and told her I don't wanna see her again," she said.

I laughed, "And you expect me to praise you for that? That's the bare fucking minimum, Haerin," she stayed quiet and looked away from me, "I'll be back in a few hours," I added.

"Be careful," she said before I left the room.

I called Serim telling him to wait for me outside. My friends were waiting for me since I told them I need a break from everything. I just told them I had a fight with Haerin and needed to get away, didn't specifically say what happened.

And of course, their solution is going on a shopping spree.

Ready for it to be honest.

***

I wasn't really buying anything. I didn't feel like it. I just tried things on as they hyped me up and bought the most random shit for themselves.

I couldn't even have fun because all I can think about is Haerin. I feel bad for making her feel like shit for the past few days but what she did really hurt me. It felt like a stab in the heart.

And I still didn't get to the point where I believe that she really pushed her away, that I am good enough for her to push Asa away.

She told me when her old assistant made a move on her, so her not telling me this makes me feel insecure about myself and what I've been giving Haerin.

I keep thinking that there is something she needs that I'm not giving her but I don't know what it could be.

Or we're just at a low point in our relationship which is why I think about shit like this. I've done nothing but be amazing to Haerin. I still can't help letting the bad thoughts cross my mind. Not even cross, like live there or something.

"Lighten up babe. She does not deserve your sexy ass being sad during a shopping spree. This shit never happened before and I'm not letting it happen now."

It's true. Everytime I had a bad day, we would go on a shopping spree and have the most fun, making me forget about every problem in my life but now I can't.

Haerin is literally my life. Losing her also means losing myself but that decision is in my hands right now and I don't what decision is the right one for me.

They tried cheering me up but nothing was taking my mind off Haerin.

What if she's crying right now?

What if she thinks I don't love her anymore?

I don't want her to think that. I still love her but I need some time.

That's understandable, right?

"Just tell us what happened with her. Maybe we can help you with it," Hanni said sitting down next to me.

I looked at Leehan and he gave me a reassuring smile, "She kissed someone else."

It was pure silence for a bit so I looked at them, "Bitch did I hear that shit right or am I tripping?" Hanni asked.

"It's not like that. I mean not how she explained it to me. She said that the girl kissed her and she pushed her back but the problem is that I had to find out on my own, she didn't tell me."

"Oh why didn't she?" Leehan asked.

I shrugged and let out a breathe when I felt things start to get even more overwhelming, "She keeps saying that she didn't wanna start an argument and it didn't matter because she pushed her back but it matters to me."

Hanni wrapped her arm around my shoulder when she heard me on the edge of crying and Leehan pulled a chair to sit next to me for more comfort.

"Hey it's okay, breathe. Everything is gonna be okay," Hanni reassured pulling me into her embrace. I didn't want to cry in public, I just let a few tears fall down my face.

Leehan gently played with my hair, "What do you wanna do about it?" He asked me.

"I don't know. I love her and I don't wanna lose her but you know me, I won't let myself be with someone who cheats on me but I don't even know if she actually cheated or not."

"Fuck I just don't like this feeling," I said wiping my tears away.

"I'm gonna fuck that bitch up for making you feel like this. Her rich sexy weird problematic ass isn't allowed to do that to my girl," Leehan said trying to cheer me up. It worked, it made me laugh a little.

"Come on, let's go get you something to drink and eat. Everything will be okay."

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