Abused Beautifully

Chapter 3

This is just a small note before I start writing... Please note that I will start updating more with this book and Wishes. Even though most of my supporters might disagree, I'm starting to question my writing ability due to my lack of comments and votes... This month has been kind've a slow month for me... I have become accommodated to votes and comments like crazy and for them to not be flowing in as much makes me a little skeptical. Now, I'm not dissing myself as a writer but I just don't feel that comfort that I'm used too. I hope I don't give off the wrong message but I just want to communicate with my followers and let you all know how I'm feeling. Anyways, on a happy note, special shout out to my loyal followers that read my author updates and wait patiently for my slow updates. I love y'all lovely butts... Have an awesome 4th of July weekend Lovelies!

ZAMANI POV

School is now over and I'm about to see if my moms will allow me to go to Tahnil's house with the squad. Normally, she will say yes just to get me out of her hair unless she's high. I pray she isn't high because when she's high, she'll make me come home just to beat me and call me out of my name. My mother is short, and skinny as crap. I could beat her down any day of the week but I choose not too because I try to honor her even though she doesn't deserve it. I mean, my mother hasn't always been this way towards me.

She used to love me until I was around 10 which is also when she started using. My mother is currently addicted to sex, and heroin, meaning she shoots drugs up her arm and let's niggas put they dick in any hole that she got. It pisses me off to see someone that I care about sick like that.

She's basically a prostitute. I mean, she gets paid to have sex, and she uses that money for a fix. That's why we currently live in the hood. She takes her excess money and pays some of the rent. I work at Cato's about 3 blocks from our house to pay the rest of the bills. I'm 18 and STILL abused by my "Mother." I love my mother, I really do but when I make it out, I ain't looking back, even if that means leaving my mother high and dry. I'm not saying that I will forget where I came from or who helped me but I definitely am not going to stick to what I know best. The hood.

I know my ins and outs in the hood, meaning that I know everyone even though not everyone knows me. I know who not to mess with and who cool. I know who down for me or who messing over me. I know it all. At least I think I do.

You can never be to careful in these streets. If they catch you slipping, you gone slip 6 feet under and that's the raw truth. People who aren't from the hood seem to judge our home and who we are as a people but this world is supposed to have equality? Mane people can gone on with that shit because I don't give a fuck about it. Enough of my rant...

I pulled out my gold and white iPhone 5s that I bought and called my mother. Whether she say yes or not, I am still going to go. I'll just have to take an ass whipping when I get home.

I placed the slick phone up to my ear and listened to it intently ring. After, about 3 rings my mother answered.

Lisa- Fuck you want?!.... I'm busy!

Zamani- I apologize, but at I go to Tahnil house? I don't have to work today and your.....Busy...

Lisa- Yes bitch, you can go but you need to gone head and give that boy some pussy. He let you come to his house anytime you want and you give him nothing in return....

Zamani- Mom! Please, let's not do this!.... Not now.

Lisa- Listen you little slut! Don't tell me what I can say. I'm your mama and if I feel that you need to do something... You do it! Understand little bitch?!

Zamani- Yes...

Lisa- Yes what?!

Zamani- Yes ma'am!

Lisa- Bitch, if you yell at me one more got damn time, next time I see your ass I'm gone beat yo' ass!

Zamani- I'll be waiting.

I hung up the phone in her face after I said my little remark. I know I'm definitely in for an ass whipping when I see her. I have never in my life disrespected her. But, things change and in this case... My heart has changed. At this point, I feel as if to say fuck my mother. She don't do shit for me anyway but bring me down.

It has been so long since she has called me beautiful or pretty or even said that she loved me. I hold on too those words because th-they mean something to me.

Coming from my mother that I'm beautiful makes me believe it. All that's ever been in my ear since I was 10 was popping my pussy to every nigga that looked my way, and being disrespected. She act like I need to be raised up just like her. I don't need to do shit but graduate so I can get the fuck up out of here.

Unlike the boys, Maaliyah I have been granted a full ride academic scholarship to Burkley in California... It's about 2 hours away from here. That's our only chance out. I currently live in Compton. (I don't really know how far Burkley is from Compton because I don't live in California) Kahlil and Tahnil have been granted a full ride scholarship to Burkley for Basketball... It's mandatory for all of us to make it out. Maaliyah and I have been hitting those books hard as hell so we can be granted a scholarship. We ain't like others in the other pretty parts of town. Not all of us has money to pay for college. I just thank the Lord that scholarships are in existence.