Frayed Bonds - A BuckyBarnes Fanfic

CHAPTER ONE

I gaze quickly in the reflecting windows of the SHIELD headquarters, I hope they think I am a professional, which I am not. I clutch my leather handbag against the right side of my body. My bachelor's degree is well folded in it. My fingers, betraying the spasm that liked to tweak the muscles on the right side of my body at the most inopportune moments, trembled slightly as my hand tightly clutched the straps of the bag. I take a deep breath.
I got this, the Lord is with me.
Someone in a hurry collided with my shoulder, which made me stumble, but I can find my balance just yet and walk a bit uneasy on my heels through the glass doors. I tighten my blonde ponytail as I step into the lobby.
Wow, this screams top-secret government agency. A bit too much.
The interior is sleek, black desks and black tiles and big windows. But before I even get there, I have to go through a metal detector. A stern-faced security officer meets me with a nod. "ID and appointment letter, please" He states, holding out his hand. I struggle with my bag, almost giving him my degree, I give him my documents. My fingers twitch, betraying me once again, showing my nerves. My hand starts to tremble, only slightly but the spasms are there, as they always are as I am nervous. The officer raises an eyebrow ever so slightly as he observes my shaky right hand, but he returns my ID and appointment letter to me without commenting about it. "Follow the line to the elevators. You will be escorted from there," he instructs me, pointing out a series of blue lights embedded in the black floor. "Thank you," I say as I set my bag in the tray and walk through the metal detector as my bag goes through another as well.
Lord, that went well.
Not.
I straight my back as I grab my bag from the tray and take a deep breath, counting till ten in my head as I try to remain calm. But my hand twitches again and starts to tremble. I follow the blue lines towards one of the elevators, where a woman in a black suit greets me with a small smile. Her name tag is visible.
You can be a bit more enthusiastic, what a sour face.
"Rachel Miller?" She states as a greeting. I hold out my hand, she takes it and shakes it firmly.
Okay, firm is an understatement.
"I am agent Hill, I will take you to your interview." She presses the button and the elevator doors slide open. Agent Hill gestures to me to step inside and I quickly do so. I bite my lip, she is not someone who likes smalltalk.
Her hair is so neat.
My hand automatically shoots out to touch my own ponytail as I feel some hairs are already sticking out. So far the professional look.
The doors of the elevator close, cutting off the last rays of sunshine from the lobby. My stomach is twisting from the nerves and I spent the next several floors practicing my breathing exercises and trying not to think about the spasms that flicker through my side. With an abrupt stop, the doors of the elevator open. Agent Hill steps out, waiting for me to follow her into a hallway, the same black tiles are on the floor, the same modern interior. Agent Hill leads me to what looks like a conference room with frosted glass walls. She opens one of the double doors and inside, instead of a panel of stern-faced interviewers, a single agent sits on the end at a table. He looks up as I enter the room, agent Hill closing the doors behind me and leaving the two of us alone.
Great, this is more nerve wracking.
The man stands and walks over to me, extending his hand. "Ms. Miller, I'm Agent Coulson. Thank you for coming in today" I take his hand, his handshake was firm, as agent Hill was. But he looks kind. "Thank you for seeing me, Agent Coulson" I reply, meaning every word.
"Please, have a seat" Agent Coulson invites me, gesturing to the chair across from him. I nod, sitting down. But every movement I make, I seem to tremble or twitch more than ever. But Agent Coulson does not comment, he only observes. I set my bag down next to me. "So, Rachel Miller." Agent Coulson states, he has a couple of documents in front of him. He reads them aloud. "Born on the twenty seventh of december nineteen-ninety-eight in Kingston New York. You have a Bachelor's Degree in International Relations from Columbia University. Your application and your background is quite impressive" He begins. "What brings you to SHIELD? It is a bit of a leap from academia and public sector work. And I suppose you live in the city now?" Coulson gazes at me. I take a deep breath, my hand twitching on my lap. "Yes, I have lived in the city for about three months now."
"Washington heights?" Agent Coulson asks, reading it from his document. "Yes, it is still close by with public transport"
"And do you like it?" He observes my posture as I straighten my back. "Yes," I smile. "It is different from home, more hustling, sounds. A bit more of everything."
"I can imagine," Agent Coulson lays the documents aside and folds his hands. He leans a bit on the table. "So, you're applying for a position within SHIELD,"
The small talk is over, he did make me more comfortable.
"How do you feel about handling information that could potentially be a matter of national security?" He continues, his tone professional. I swallow. I feel like I am shrinking beneath his gaze.
Why am I like this, always shying down at confrontal conversations?
"Yes," My fingers twitch and I count to five in my head, looking directly into Agent Coulson's green eyes. I will get this job! I worked so hard for this and I will not let my own clumsiness take this from me.
"Yes," I state again, now feeling a bit more confident, I mean I have to. "I like a challenge, I have always been driven to serve a cause greater than myself, Agent Coulson. And I know this sounds like what any other applicant will say," I take a deep breath. "The opportunity to be part of SHIELD, to directly impact global security and protect lives, is something I can't just pass by. I believe my background can contribute to your missions, especially in navigating complex international waters," I say, a waterfall of words tumbling over my lips. Great Rae, really great.
Agent Coulson nods, jotting down some notes. "Interesting." Can you tell me about a time when you had to handle a particularly challenging situation? How did you manage it?"
Lord what a question is this?
"I had to mediate a conflict that threatened to escalate into a diplomatic issue. It was between a daughter of a very popular politician and a son of a ward lord from eastern-Europe. At first it looked like a normal romance. But the agents who worked for her father discovered that they tried to enter the States through their romance. So I had to talk the girl out of a relationship with him," I recall, telling him how I approached the matter and how I effectively mediated between the diverse parties.
"That is a valuable skill here at SHIELD," Coulson comments but his expression gives nothing away. "Now, working for SHIELD is not without risks. The challenges are unique and often dangerous. How do you feel about stepping into potentially dangerous situations?"
I meet his gaze. "I understand the risks, Agent Coulson. I believe in facing challenges head-on. As my father taught me. And I am committed to doing what's necessary to protect others, even if it means putting myself in harm's way"
Agent Coulson nods slightly and I hope it is his approval. "Last question Rachel. Here at SHIELD, we often deal with information that, if disclosed improperly, could pose serious threats. How do you handle confidentiality in your work?"
"Yes," I assure him. "I am confident in all my ways. I have worked hard to be where I am now. I know I can do the job, otherwise I had never applied to this," Coulson smiles and stands up. He offers me his hand again. I quickly stand up as well, the twitching coming back in full force as nerves erupt in my stomach.
How well did this go?
"Thank you, Rachel. We'll be in touch soon."
I grab my back and Agent Coulson walks me back to the elevator and presses on the button that brings me back to the ground floor. The last thing I see is his smile as the doors close. I don't have to walk through the metal detector as I quickly make my way outside. I step back into the dying sunlight of the busy street.
God, please let me get this job!