Frayed Bonds - A BuckyBarnes Fanfic

CHAPTER II

As I walk away, I feel my heart missing a beat, mixing with the spasms that dance under my skin. This was anxiety, but a good one. Whatever came next, whatever Agent Coulson would decide, I was ready for it.
Leaving the shadows created by the height of the SHIELD building, the honks, shouts from the street were calling out to me. My mind was still racing a hundred miles per hour. The interview went well to my own surprise. Agent Coulson was very comforting in a way.
As I navigated through the people, walking at their own pace on the sidewalk, the interview replayed in my mind. His questions, my answers. I hope it was good enough.
I feel my phone buzz in my bag, my heart picks up a beat. Did they make a choice already? I maneuver through the people, so I stand at the edge of the sidewalk, leaning against a stone building. I open my bag and take my phone out, breathing out, my stomach twisting, my fingers twitch, the usual spasm. But when I unlock my phone, my nerves tone down. It is a message from my best friend, Clara. She asks me how the interview went. I quickly type a quick message back; "It went well, I think! Will tell you all about it tonight! "Tsunami Sushi right?" I push send and immediately get a text back. "8 AM Rae, don't forget!"
I can taste those Spicy Salmon rolls already!
I send an emoji back and slide my phone back in my bag, zipping it close. I make my way to the subway, my nerves have finally calmed down enough, I can think more clearly.
Working for SHIELD, it would open doors for me I never thought would be possible.
Protecting the world? How can I even do that!
What in the world was I thinking?
The train coming into the station makes me blink, bringing me back to the real world instead of the whirlwind of my mind. As the train doors opened and people from inside the train raced out as others maneuvers their way in. I do the same, taking a spot close by the door. The bell notifying that the train leaves sounds hard in my ears. The train clatters along the tracks.
Am I really ready for this?
My phone buzzes again. I zip my bag open and unlock my phone. It is a message from my mom. "And? How did it go?"
"I have mixed feelings about it, but I think for eighty percent that I have a chance!" I press send and slide my phone back, zipping my bag close as well. The train slows down as it approaches my stop, I hold my bag tight and when the train comes to a stop, I stand and step out. The evening wind feels cold on my skin as I hurry along the blocks towards my apartment.
The sky is beautiful right now
It was a blend of orange and purple, making me feel a mix of excitement and fear of being good enough.
What if they do not choose me? What do I do then?
I take a deep breath, pushing the doors of my building open and the smell of old surrounding me. The elevator doors crack open.
Lord, whatever you have in store for me, I am ready for it.
The elevator stops at my level, one of my new neighbours waiting for it as well. I say a quick hello as I step out of the elevator and make my way down the corridor to my apartment. Zipping my bag open once again, taking my keys out and opening the door. As I step inside, I toss my keys on the table. I breathe out, standing in the middle of my own apartment.
In the middle of New York City, this is my life now.
My stomach whirls again, my fingers twitching.
God, I really have to calm down.

As the evening air of Manhattan wraps its cool arms around me, I take a deep breath. I walk up the steps of the chairs, taking me out of the subway station towards the sidewalk. My worn out converse making sounds on the pavement. I arrived at Tsunami sushi at exactly the right time, a small little restaurant Clara and I found while we were hunting for apartments. I wait in front of the restaurant on Clara as people pass me by.
I have to protect you as I am chosen for this Job.
And you
And you as well.
The glow from street lamps and neon signs paints the sidewalk while I am waiting. "Rae!" I hear my name being called, I look to the right, seeing an excited Clara waving while she walks with a quick step towards me. She throws her arms around me, her parfum surrounding me. "Oh you have to tell me everything! I have the feeling they are going to choose you" She immediately states as she releases me. I laugh. "Yes, I will. But first sushi. I haven't eaten anything, I could not."
"You really have to work on your anxiety"
"I like myself as I am," I state, still smiling as we walk inside the restaurant. Clara gives me a knowing look as she steps in front of me and gives her name to the waiter, saying she has a reservation.
We are given a table in the middle of the restaurant. As we sit down, we both look into the menu and order as soon the waiter comes to our table.
"So," Clara begins. "It was so nerve racking. I had to go through a metal detector and someone walked with me from the elevator to the room I was being interviewed in. But the man who took the interview was kind, he was making me feel comfortable. It was just a normal conversation"
"But? What is your feeling about it?"
Mixed, but if I tell you that I am getting unwanted advice.
"I think I have a shot," I answer her as the waiter arrives with our drinks and the first round.
Luckily the rest of the night was cozy as Clara talked about her work and she had a date two nights ago. My nerves are going as are my spasms. But how pleasant I find Clara's company, I am worn out from all the over thinking.
After we have eaten our sushi and dunked a bottle of white wine, Clara insists on dessert. "We have to celebrate a potential job offer! It deserves something sweet!" She argues with me, smiling slyly as she drinks the last drop from her wine glass.
"Okay, okay miss strawberry" I joke as I push my chair backwards. "Order something with chocolate for me, I go to the bathroom real quick" I stand up and walk between the tables towards where the bathrooms are.