Frayed Bonds - A BuckyBarnes Fanfic

CHAPTER V

Monday morning came too soon after a relaxing weekend. I take a deep breath as I step through the busy corridors of SHIELD. I walk to my desk.
Maybe I will see them today!
Or James.
A sharp clatter of my inbox tray, which stands on the edge of my desk, brings me out of my thoughts. Maya is depositing files, a bit too forceful as is her smile. It doesn't reach her eyes.
"Good morning, Rachel. Ready to start the second month?" She states with an undertone in her voice what makes me a bit uneasy.
But I cannot let her get to me!
"Good morning, Maya. I am as ready as I can be" I reply as neutral as I can muster. Maya really has something against as she already tries to irritate me on Monday morning. She pauses, eyeing me with a calculated gaze. "Heard you might be up for some fieldwork soon. That's quite ambitious for the new girl" I grind my teeth as I stiff in my chair, my hand twitching.
Fieldwork?
"I have no idea what you are talking about Maya. I just follow the two months as SHIELD requires" But Maya just smiles, a knowing smirk on her irritatingly perfect face. "I just warn you Rachel. No one ever makes it into the Avenger ranks. No matter how friendly they get during a night out"
Stay calm, calm.
How does she even know this?
"I'm going to pretend that those words never came out of your mouth" I snap back, a bit more sharply than I intended. Maya raises her eyebrows as she feigns a surprise. "Just some friendly advice" She says, as she turns away with a shrug. "Good luck, Rachel. You'll need it" I watch her walk away and take a deep breath. I try to calm down as a flush of anger and shame courses through my body.
Shit, shit shit!
I sit down on my chair, starting my computer up. "Rae!" Thomas enters our part of the office with an excited smile on his face. "Hey, how was your weekend?"
"Fa-tas-tic!" He extends the word as he lets himself fall on his chair and turns to face me. "And you? Did you have a slow weekend?"
Lie, lie
"Just what I wanted,"
"Boring! Next time you go out with me!" I just shake my head as I face my computer screen, starting with checking my emails. I feel my heart skip a beat and my fingers twitch again as I see an email from James. He sent it late last night.
So far his texting.
"Hey Rae," read quietly out loud.
He uses my nickname!
"I just wanted to say I had a great time Friday night. I hope your weekend was good! Maybe we can catch up soon and grab lunch in the cafeteria or in the avengers compound?
James."

Avengers compound?!
I feel my lips curl up in a smile as I read the rest of his mail silently out loud. He was inviting me to the Avengers compound. Sort of. But I feel happy as I type a quick reply, telling him that the next message we sent is through phone, with an emoji. And that I really like to catch up with him and would love to see the compound. I sent it off with my nickname and quickly press send before I can change my mind.
I try to get his email out of my head, it is filling my delusional mind with ideas that we can be friends. I focus on the day's briefing as I check my online agenda. I have a training session in the afternoon and other than that, it is just the regular. "Rae, what are you still smiling about?" Thomas asks me and I turn my head towards him. "It is just an email, from my older brother" I reply, lying again. Thomas opens his mouth to say something else, likely a quick joke but Maya passes by. Her eyes narrowed as she gazes down upon us. She gives me a smirk and throws her hair over her shoulder. "What is she trying to prove?" I hear Thomas mutter. "Ignore her, I do the same" I advise him, trying to remind myself as well. I smile at Thomas and go back to work. Luckily I like my work and I don't lose my focus as I normally do with tasks like these, mailing, reading long papers on a computer.
"Miller," His urgent voice makes me lose focus and I look up from my screen. Agent Coulson stands next to my desk, his whole demeanor is stiff. "We need you in the negotiation room, now" I blink, taken aback by his request.
It is an official work order! The first official!!
"But, I haven't finished my two months yet. I am not allowed too-"
"Miller, this is an emergency situation! Follow me," He interrupts me firmly. "Yes, sir" I nod, my training finally kicking in, I feel adrenaline rush through my body as my nervous nerves stop twitching. I stand up, Thomas giving me thumbs up behind Coulson's back. As I walk behind him, I pass Maya, who presses her lips together. "Let's see if the newbie can handle real pressure" she whispers loud enough for me to hear.
Gosh, she is new too!
Focus!
I try to calm myself down, by breathing slowly in and out as I follow Agent Coulson through the corridors and we take one of the elevators to level nine. The atmosphere feels tense when I step out of the elevator behind Agent Coulson. At level nine, there are three doors. All with a number on it and Agent Coulson pushes door one open.
The negotiation room was one big square, filled with a round table. Seethed around it where Agent Hill, Steve, Tony Stark and my heart start hammering as I see James, standing hidden in the far corner of the room. He is wearing dark clothes, a leather jacket. His hair looks a bit wild, but when our eyes meet, he gives me a small smile.
Coulson leads me to one of the four screens which are on the table. Agent Hill is already in front of one, while Steve and Tony Stark share a screen.
I take a deep breath as I sit down where Coulson wants me to sit. He quickly sits down next to me. "I asked you here Rachel because I think you have the right skills to help us now. A small team of agents is captured in the desert of Thar, south east of India," He looks at James, who walks from his corner to the table, picks up a thin file and hands it to me, his blue eyes flickering as they meet mine again.
I open it, reading it quickly.
"What did they demand before you suggested me, sir?" I asks, my voice trembling a bit.
This is not a weird question, I did not order him. I just asked. Right?
O lord please help me go through this, give me the just words to let this end well.
"They want our assurance that we end their small clan war,"
Can their own government not do this?
But at the looks I am given, I understand I said this out loud.
God, please let me dissolve.
"This is something that goes above laws, agent Miller. These clans exist since the written word was invented"
I feel my hands twitch and my right side starts hurting.
Ignore, ignore. I can do this! I did it before, not this big, but I can do this!
"Yes, sir" I say, swallowing my wounded pride. I feel Coulson's gaze at me as I brush some hair behind my ear. "You have ten minutes before they contact again," Coulson explains, sliding a notebook and pen towards me. I nod. "Yes, sir"
I ignore the silent gazes of Steve and Tony. I feel James his eyes burn in my back as I bow down over the file and reread it as I write down my notes.
"One minute, Miller" Coulson's firm voice travels through the room. I finish my notes, my right hand twitching slightly. I feel so nervous, I try to flex my fingers, trying to soothe the spasms in my muscles. I take a deep breath as the screen in front of me comes alive. A man, someone in his early thirties comes into view.
I can do this, I have done it again.
Lives are at stake!
I am face-to-face with the negotiator, his expression was hard, almost unreadable. I square my shoulders, forcing myself to be calm, as it was far from what I was feeling. My right side was killing me, but I clenched my teeth.
"Hello," I begin, keeping my voice steady despite the pain and the tremor in my hand. "I am Rachel Miller, representing SHIELD. I understand we both seek a peaceful resolution"
The negotiator's eyes narrowed slightly. "We are listening" He replies in broken English.

I delve into the negotiations, aware of every word, every pause I made. These captors were tough, not that stupid and their demands steep. They wanted SHIELDS assurance, guarantee, things that went far above normal protocol. But this is SHIELD. My mind was racing, I calculated and evaluated each demand against possible repercussions.
I am in mid-discussion as a sharp pain, sharper than before, shot through my right side. I clench my teeth and pause for a moment, biting my lip.
Think Rachel!
My mind is processing everything as I plan my next words carefully. "Let us focus on what I can offer," I counter smoothly after I regain my composure. "SHIELD is prepared to ensure safe passage and protection from prosecution of your rival clan. As the hostages are released unharmed"

The hours drag on, this negotiation a metal marathon, my mind is exhausted. Sometimes I can almost hear the ticking clock in the back of my mind, the strain was immense and I had to remind myself to breathe. To stay focused despite the fatigue started to cloud my judgment.
But finally, the captor who had the lead was softening slightly and I took action. "We all want to avoid any further escalation" I urge him. "Let us conclude this in a way that ensures safety for everyone involved"
The man nods slowly after he has spoken with his men. "We will release the hostages at the designated location" He replies in broken English and I feel the relief wash over me as he confirms our agreement. He ends the call as I lean back in my chair. I breathe out and rub my temples as I feel a headache starting to form. "It is done," I state, my voice suddenly sounding hoarse. "They agreed to the terms"
Coulson, who sat close by but out of sight, stands up and lays a firm hand on my shoulder. "Good work Rachel, very good!" He exclaims. Agent Hill even gives me a smile as she follows Coulson out of the door. Steve and Tony are walking around the table, also giving me a pat on the shoulder, Steve squeezes gently. "Well done Rae!"
I stay seated as they walk out of the door, James is still standing in the corner. "Knew you could do it," He says as he moves closer "Come on, I buy you a coffee," I give him a tired smile. "Something stronger, please" James laughs. "That can do" I follow him out the door and we step into the elevator as James presses the ground floor button.
"I know just the place" James smiles mysteriously as we step out of the elevator and walk out of the SHIELD building.
My heart is still hammering fast from this whole ordeal but his words lets it race faster than before.
Lord, help.