Nourishment | Adam Lanza x Reader

CHAPTER 4

I woke up to the sound of my blaring alarm coming from my iPhone. I actually had to wake up on time today, but for a good cause. Im gonna hang out with Adam!

I poured myself a bowl of cereal and got ready. Black jean shorts, a somewhat tight t-shirt with a skull imprint, black converses, and horizontally striped arm warmers. I applied minimal make-up, just fixing minor blemishes. Nothing too over-the-top. And then I was on my way.

I saw Adam at the DDR machine — which I expected him to be at — and watched in amusement. Even if I practiced for days and night, I could not be that good. Which, it did make me feel a little bad that he was earlier than me. When he got done, he turned over to face me.

He was wearing a desaturated teal button-up with little white tiles speckled across and his usual cargo khakis. Was that his idea of dressing for a date? It was kind of cute.

"Hi, Y/N," his voice was still stoic and meek, but I could tell that he tried to fake his confidence. I've been there before.

"Hi, Adam!" I smiled at him, having to look up at him. I'd say he was around 60 and I was not that height, so I did have to look up. "Care to join me?" He offered, referencing to the DDR machine. I obliged and hopped on to the other pad.

We played until about 5:30. I asked, "Hey, are you hungry? I know I sure am. Its my treat, okay?"Truthfully, I wasnt in the financial stance to be able to dine out, but I was willing to do it for Adam.

"No, it's okay. I'll pay," he offered back. I shook my head and smiled, saying, "It's no use arguing with you, huh?"

We walked to a restaurant called Blue Colony Diner. The outside was just about what youd expect it to be like; a stereotypical 1970s American diner. For the record, it was built in the 70s. I remember dining here with my family before the Brendon incident.

"What're you getting?" I asked him to deafen the silence. "Nothing," he replied. I furrowed my eyebrows. "Nothing? Adam, you need to eat. If youre worried about the bill, I'll pay, I offered." He shook his head.

"Its not that. I'm just.." he paused, searching for the right words. "Not hungry." I huffed. If he wants to play this game, he can but I can play too.

When the waiter came around, I said, "Two toasted salmon sandwiches with a side of fries and two waters, please." The food came rather quickly as there were few customers. I pushed the other turkey sandwich to where he sat.

"Eat." He looked at me, subtle confusion on his pale face. "What?" He asked. "I said eat. I'm not going to eat your food and no one else is, so you eat it," I replied. He hesitated for a moment. His hands were naturally shaky, but he pulled them back reluctantly before grabbing the sandwich. He ate it slowly, not maintaining eye contact with me at all.

After I ate my sandwich, I rushed off to the bathroom. Not to pee or do whatever in a bathroom, but for something else. I rustled through my bag until I found my box cutter. It wasnt anything cute or ordinary, just a regular box cutter. I took off my arm warmers and started to penetrate my pale skin with the tip of the box cutter. It was right next to a healing scar. The inside of the cut turned white before filling with blood. Only the dermis layer. Thats okay though, it would be quite troublesome to go into the fat layer and then have to talk to Adam.

I breathed in and held my breath until I created another slit. This time I saw a little bit of the desaturated orange-yellow fat bubbles peaking through. I started thinking as I dragged my blade across my left arm. I made things awkward between me and Adam, didnt I? Hes probably going to leave the diner. He probably hates me, doesnt it?

I opened the stall slightly to see if there was company in the restroom. There was no one. I hobbled over to the sink and washed it before wrapping paper towels from its dispenser and wrapping it around my arm like bandages. Then I put my arm warmers on.

When I got out of the bathroom, Adam had finished his sandwich. He said to me, "I paid the bill. My mother will get angry at me if I'm out too late. I'm sorry." He got up and left before I could even say goodbye. Dammit.