The Tortured Villains Society

#TTVS 2

The security alarms went off the moment I pulled out the (fake) gun. 

The tellers at the counter immediately huddled behind the bulletproof glass windows as a standard protocol. Customers fled the scene, some hid under the chairs while a few ran towards the nearby restrooms. Red lights flashed inside Eastwood Bank as a mechanical voice coming from the speakers repeated: SUPERVILLAIN ALERT! SUPERVILLAIN ALERT!

'Damn right I am.'

Lihim akong napangiti at aliw na pinanood ang awtomatikong pagsasara ng mga bintana at pinto. Steel bars barricaded the building as armed security personnel surrounded me in less than a minute.

Well, I expected no less from the most famous (and heavily guarded) bank in town!

"Wag kang kikilos! Villains aren't allowed in this bank," one of them yelled. "Put your hands above your head!"

What fucking discrimination! So bawal nang magbukas ng bank account ang mga kontrabida? Bawal na kaming mag-apply ng loan at mag-deposit? Mga bastos talaga.

I glared at the man. Unlike the others, he was wearing a black bulletproof vest instead of a gray one. Pero katulad ng iba, may suot-suot pa itong helmet habang nakatuktok pa rin sa akin ang hawak nitong shotgun.

'Must be the leader,' I mused and threw away the plastic handgun away. 'Too bad for him, I hate leaders.'

Agad niyang sinipa papalayo sa akin ang baril, ngunit nakapalibot pa rin ang security team na para bang gigil silang i-firing squad ako.

I don't know anything much about the laws, but I do know that there aren't any laws protecting villains' rights in Eastwood, not with the mayor being a goody-two-shoes superhero herself.

"Hoy! Pwede bang maghubad muna ako ng jacket? Ang init, eh. Sira pa ang aircon dito. Mataas ang heat index ngayong araw kung hindi niyo pa napapanood sa balita," mahinahon kong sabi. "You guys don't want me to die of a heatstroke, now, do you?"

Wala na silang nagawa nang naghubad na ako ng jacket. After unzipping it and letting it fall on the floor, their leader's eyes immediately grew suspicious upon noticing the tattoos covering my arms.

"Don't make me repeat myself. You are locked in here with us," he growled and stepped forward. "PUT YOUR HANDS---!"

"Up? Ayoko nga. Nakalimutan ko pa man ding mag-deodorant," I smirked and in a split second, the ink from one of my tattoos spilled on the floor.

"By the way, I think you made a mistake..."

"What?"

"I am not in here locked with you," I grinned. "YOU are in here locked with ME."

Nagulat ang lahat nang biglang mag-materialize ang mga galamay ng isang dambuhalang octopus mula sa sahig. Agad na lumingkis ang mga ito sa kanilang mga baril. The security team were shocked, but couldn't do anything as they tried shouting and firing at me. The black tentacles broke their guns and tossed them away, bullets raining all over the place as I casually walked towards the first teller I saw.

I leaned against the counter like a proper thief and smiled smugly, trying to look charming, even though that isn't my strength.

"Now, I would like to request one million pesos... please."

She was already trembling but didn't respond. Agad na naglaho ang ngiti sa labi ko. 'Gusto talaga nilang nahihirapan pa sila,' isip-isip ko bago ko pinakawalan ang dalawa pang tattoo sa magkabila kong braso. The two black gargoyles flew around the woman's head and started pulling at her hair. These small babies were no larger than the height of a ruler, but their mischief knows no end. Tumili ang dalaga at mabilis na kinuha ang dalawang malaking bag na dala-dala ko kanina at sinimulan nang lagyan ng pera.

"That's better."

Halos mangiyak-ngiyak na ang babaeng teller nang inabot niya sa'kin ang mga bag. I smiled and snapped my fingers, making the two devious gargoyles disappear back into my arms.

"Thanks for the cooperation, miss." I saluted. "See you next month!"

She fainted.

Deangelo would probably be pissed at me for harrassing a woman again, especially since that womanizing bastard is such a fucking gentleman and it gets on my nerves. Balang-araw talaga, ako na mismo ang tatapos sa buhay niya nang hindi na siya mahirapan.

Habang abala pa ang security team sa pakikipaglaban sa higanteng pusit, walang-gana kong tinapakan ang bangkay ng mga bumagsak nilang kasamahan at naglakad papuntang pinto. I took out my iPhone ProMax (fully stolen last month) and called the one person who can help me with the doors.

"Steel bars, Eastwood Bank. I already sent you my pinned location."

["Straight-forward as ever, I see. Alright, hang in there, Region."]

Wala pang ilang segundo, agad na bumaluktot ang steel bars sa mga pinto at bintana. Napangiti ako.

"Nice one, Sera. Ano na lang ang gagawin ko kung wala ka? See you in a bit!"

Pero pinatayan na niya ako ng tawag! Natawa na lang ako at imbes na lumabas sa pinto, sa bintana na ako dumaan. I easily crashed into the glass windows and jumped out into the streets while whistling like any madman who just robbed a bank. When I was at a safer distance, I snapped my fingers and called back the giant octopus.

"Mission accomplished! Kailangan ko na lang bumalik sa headquarters at---HEY?! THAT'S MY STEAL!"

Hindi ko napansin na may isang low-class na magnanakaw palang nakaabang sa kanto. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako at inis na sumipol para tawagin ang paborito kong alaga. In a matter of seconds, the black dog tattoo barked and chased down the man until he caught up with him. Agresibo itong tumahol at kinagat ang binti ng magnanakaw.

"ARAY! L-LUMAYO KA SA'KIN!"

"ARF! ARF! ARF!"

The man fell on the ground and cried out in pain. I casually took the bags of money and kicked him in the leg before sitting on his back, petting the canine.

"Good boy, Blackie. You deserve a treat later!"

Dahil pagod ako sa pagnanakaw sa bangko, nanatili na lang akong nakaupo sa likod ng magnanakaw na dumadaing na sa sakit at kumuha ng sigarilyo mula sa bulsa ko. I started smoking on the sidewalk while I watched the passersby give me strange looks. Judgemental freaks. Blackie sat beside me and started peeing on the bag of money, I was too tired to give a damn. Bahala nang mapagalitan mamaya, basta ang pera ay pera, anuman ang amoy nito.

Soon, my eyes darted to the petty robber who tried to steal from me.

ME, of all people!

"Hey, buddy. You should've learned your lesson by now," I spat at him and took a drag from my last cigarette. "No one fucks around with the Vice Chairman of The Tortured Villains Society."

---