Power

10

Shirabu's POV

How stupid am I? Why did I think it was okay to say those things to you? To anyone? You were right there in front of my eyes. You were finally coming to me to ask me to do something with you... but envy is a sin. It's extremely poisonous and deadly. That's why it spread through me like a virus whenever I saw you with our seniors, especially that rat of a setter.

What do you see in him anyways? I'm a setter. I'm cute too! Though I'd never say something like that out loud, but I know it would've made you laugh...

Oh, how I wish to see your smile right now. Seeing you with such an intense glare made me realize that you're not at all what I said you were just now. You're soft-hearted but you're not a goody two shoes. If you want to speak your mind, you'll do it if you find it absolutely necessary, and being the idiot I am, you needed to speak out to bring me back to reality.

Now, I'm standing in shock as you leave the gym with a furious expression. Never have I seen you so angry before, not even that time when Nakamura "accidentally" fell face first into your chest and then proceeded to "accidentally" pull down your shirt.

'I felt inferior to you, did you know that?'

Those words struck me through my heart like a piercing arrow meant to kill me. No, I had no idea that's how I made you feel. I never know how you feel about me, Kana. That's why I act so crazy around you, because I don't know how to act! You never answered my question that day when we were waiting for the train in junior high: what do you see me as? We never continued that conversation, but now you said 'those bubbly feelings' have disappeared? Was it the same bubbly feelings I have for you? Or is it just wishful thinking? Not that I know what those bubbly feelings are, but all I know is that it feels good.

"I can't believe you." Taichi stands over me, a grim face looking down at me.

"I..." I try to speak but I can't form any words to defend myself, because there's nothing to defend.

I made a huge mistake. I just lost my best friend, the only person I've ever truly cared for. She was the only one who stayed with me through it all and I can't believe I let go of our tied strings when I shouldn't have.

Someone punches me in the chin, knocking me to the floor without warning. My eyes widen as I grab my throbbing jaw, seeing the culprit. Semi stands there, breathing heavily as he stares at me on the floor. He grips onto my shirt, pulling me up off the ground and about to take another swing when a few of the second years pull him away while Taichi and the rest pull me away. While he looks like he's ready to punch the lights out of me, I let them drag me away calmly, hanging my head in shame and a bit of disappointment in myself.

I sense Ohira looking at me in shock, his eyes softening as he realizes what it means that I'm not fighting back.

"Let me at him! That bastard doesn't deserve to live another day! He can go rot in a hole after what he's done to Kana!" Semi screams as he tries to free himself from the other's grasps.

"He does, Semi, but now is not the time to be beating him up for it. Hear him out first to see why he said those things. Remember Kana said he usually does that when he's in a bad mood?" Soekawa points out.

My eyes widen at the statement. I do that? Have I always done that to you...?

"Shit." I curse under my breath, spitting out some blood at the same time.

"Semi, you punched him that h-hard?" Yamagata's voice falters slightly at the sight of blood.

"I deserve it." My voice is quiet but I know everyone heard.