And you know who I blame for picking the worst men to love.
In elementary school
I was told "he is mean to you because he likes you"
I was never told that only applies when you were a child.
That when you were grown
Not to run to men who are unkind
Who use you for your beauty and waste your time.
It's embarrassing frankly.
That I only know how to love someone if it comes with tears
That I never broke the habit of believing
When a man seems distant or downright indecent
"It's just a game"
"He likes you"
But at what point did it become different
Then the boy during recess who pinched his crush
He's mean to you because he likes you
So I let them be mean
I wait for the likeness to turn to love
Maybe then I'll be worth of kindness.
But it never turns to love,
Because I pick the wrong ones.
I'm always drawn to the villains in movies,
The characters designed for the audience to hate.
I have this insatiable need to fix people.
I'm attracted to brokenness.
I ignore my mess by cleaning up others
Does that make me the real bag guy?
Or just the girl who her crush pinched in the playground?
Or the hopeless romantic?
To attached to let it go?
Damn it I would have married you
Funny how you never stuck around to stick it to me
The day I learn that love makes you kind
Maybe then will I be able to pick the right guy.
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I literally only write this stuff because I can't say it out loud..anyways
Goodbye...<333
