Love That Never Dies (Howl Pendragon x Reader)

Chapter 9 {What is Moving On?}

Your POV

That night we both went to bed, well Ichabod on the other hand is on the couch. . Who cares of his the prince? Never mind. I toss, I turn, I did everything to sleep but there was nothing that can make me drift off to slumber. I wonder why. . Or that's what I thought.

I head out of the bedroom and went to the kitchen to drink some water, or maybe a warm milk since they said that warm milk can help you sleep. When I open the fridge, I remember that I forgot to buy some milk from the store lately. So I stick with water.

"You really haven't move on." I heard a voice that belongs to the guy with me.

"Leave me alone for now, Ichabod." I said sipping the water from the glass.

"What if you never find him? What if his out there with-"

"STOP!!" I shouted. I was gripping the glass tightly, if I was too strong I swear that I could have broke it. "Stop, Ichabod. Please, just stop." I said tears slowing flowing out of my eyes and pretty soon I was on the floor sobbing.

I don't remember how did we got to the couch. I was still crying as I can remember but now I was hugging Ichabod. Trying to shut me up I guess, I don't know what's wrong with me now. All I know is I'm desperate on finding Howl, because that's all I wanted to do around here. 

"Sshh, I know how it feels. Believe me, Y/n." Ichabod said stroking my hair.

And finally I decided to calm down slowly. Dried tears can be felt on my face and Ichabod's shirt was kind of wet from my tears. I look at Ichabod who was smiling at me.

"Is it funny? Seeing me cry?" I asked.

He wipe my tears and chuckled "No, I'm smiling because you look cute. But please, stop crying." He said as he pulled me back into him.

"Thank you, but about that thing you told me lately. . About moving on?" I cut myself not knowing what to say next.

"What about it?" He asked.

"What is it?" I asked as Ichabod pushed me away from him.

"Say that again. ." He said like I said something wrong.

"You know moving on. . What is it?" I said it again.

I heard Ichabod sighing. So, I said something wrong, right. He look at me like I was a sin that he shouldn't be looking at or touching.

"How do I explain this. . Uhm. ." He was looking somewhere, trying to look for the answer. "Moving on is. . Like you let the person and just live your life." He added.

"Oh. ." It sounded disappointed. "You know that I can never move on. ." I said.

"I know, because he left you and you are still on the same place, Y/n." He said. "Like a dog, he left you and you thought that he is going back, and you're here waiting like a stupid dog. Sorry about the rudeness, but it's true, Y/n." He added. 

It hurts, but some of it couldn't be true, right? I'm not a dog, I'm not left right I am right now. . I know that. He didn't left me. I was the one who left not him, that's why I am looking for him. 

"Stop gaslighting yourself, Y/n. Just accept it that he left you." Ichabod said sighing. like he can read my mind.

"I knew what I did, Ichabod." I stood up. "And for your information, I'm not gaslighting myself." I said walking towards the stairs. "And also, we leave the first thing in the morning," I ended the conversation and enter the bedroom.

I fell on the floor once again. I know I'm doing, and no one is stopping me. If ever Ichabod is right, then will I ever accept the truth? Will I ever recover form the truth? Or maybe Ichabod is just messing with my head. . I know it. 

(No she doesn't alright. .)

The next day, the birds were chirping and the smell of breakfast can be smelt in the bedroom. . . Wait! Breakfast? I run down the stairs and found Ichabod there with his beige color long sleeve shirt matched with a black colored pants. It fit him well, the fact that the pants was hugging his legs well. . Ok enough.

"Good morning sleepy head." Ichabod  greeted with a smile like he forgot what happen last night.

I walk towards the table and sat on one of the chairs. I saw what he was cooking, eggs and bacon. Coincidence? I think not. 

"Good morning." I greeted back not to be rude. I'm still confused around here.

"Here, eat. So we can leave after you take a bath. ." He state as he gave me a plate and a spoon and fork.

I know there was nothing wrong but I felt there was. . Oh, goodness, I'm stressing myself early in the morning. . 

"Are you ok?" I heard Ichabod asked.

"Yeah, I just can't wrap my head around this. Not after what happened last night." I said as I drop the spoon and fork.

"I know it's hard to process but I'm sorry also for saying such things. It was rude yet I still said it." He sigh.

I held hand and smiled "It's ok. I understand why you said that, but please don't ever mention such things again. . Not in front of me" I said as we both continue eating. Non of us said anything, not a single word at all.

After a few more minutes, I paid for the room and we both left the town ready to jump into another. 

"Doesn't this feels like traveling like an adventure?" Ichabod asked walking along side with me.

"It can be, something like that. ." I said looking down on the ground.

There is something in my mind that I just can't shake it off. Was it what Ichabod said last night? Am I just overthinking things? Or is because, yes I look like a lost dog, still on the spot waiting for some dumb miracle to come knowing that nothing will come how long I wait. .

"Hey, you ok?" I heard Ichabod. I should stop daydreaming. .

"Yeah, I will be. ." I said as we both continue to our path leading somewhere, or worse nowhere.