What do you do when you meet someone you love more than life itself and are forced to let them go so they can experience life without attachment?
Two chance encounters set this story in motion and send Nick's introverted soul down a long avoided mem...
Many things have changed in my life, and I can't deny that it has been for the better. Love came at me sideways from a part of my universe I never expected, but I am so thankful for. In this story, you briefly met her. Her name is Fiadh, and I have known her for a long time. She has been a dear, dear friend without whom I would not have made it sanely through some very trying times in my life.
Fiadh will have her part in this story at another time, but as this was pressed upon me, I felt she deserved to say her piece. I am not always easy to live with, and I have a very hard time letting things go that are close to my heart. She is an understanding and loving soul, and she deserves to be heard.
This was written a couple of weeks ago and left for me to read while Fiadh was out of town collecting items from her previous home in the final move here with me. I was surprised by her candor and her care. So, here it is as presented.
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I love you. I do, but I am not the other woman. I am not her. I'm not even close. Well, maybe a little close, in some areas at least, our birthdays are only days apart, but I'm not her. I never will be, Nick, never. And, know what? I don't want to be. I used to think I did; there were times I even tried, but it never worked out. You didn't notice anyway, and I was uncomfortable being anyone but myself. You always liked me that way, so why would I want to be any different?
Nick, we have known each other for a long time. You have been in my life, formatively, as long as I can remember. I knew you before she did you know? You took a shine to me, and smiled at me every day when we rode the elevator at work together. Finally, you spoke to me, and finally, you asked me out and took me to lunch. I was young when we met, still very impressionable. And you? You were so cool, I thought. You were shy but friendly and sincere. As I said, I was young and certainly wasn't used to that, but I was still impressed by the flash and excitement I perceived some guys offered. You were sweet, a gentleman, my first gentleman. I liked you and respected you so much more than I was than capable of expressing.
You sensed you were not enough for me and introduced me to your best friend. He certainly was flashy and exciting to be around, and eventually, he became my husband. But you, Nick, you stayed close, said you liked me and wanted to be my friend. You were, too; you were always my friend. You were always good to me. You were good to all of us. So when we decided to be friends, well, that's when she came into the picture. She was beautiful, Nick. Do you know why I think that? It's because I see her still as you saw her. Every time I think of her, I am seeing her through your eyes. You were so excited when you spoke about her, and you blushed and turned red deep inside; it was so sweet. You thought she was beautiful, and she was. You were looking much deeper than facial features, and it showed. Oh, sure, she was adorable to look at, too, with eyelashes any woman would kill for, her long, shiny brown hair and those big brown doll eyes, and her teeth; she had the prettiest, straightest little teeth I have ever seen in all my life! Yeah, she was a looker, but that's not what made me a little jealous; it was just easy to latch on to. It was that she had your complete attention.
