I'll look after you *Remus lupin comfort fic

The truth will come out..

My hands were shaking as i attempted to wash the dishes that had been left by him. Tears were flowing down my cheeks, soapy bubbles half way up my arm, the water scolding my fingers and palms. "can- can't i use gloves, the water is too hot-" i was cut off by a loud smash. "you listen here girl, you WILL do as your told, i don't want to hear any more back talk from you, do i make my self clear?" There was bottles scattered all over the sitting room floor and one half full in his hand. "yes- yes sir" i said quietly, stuttering from fear, "SPEAK UP ABBY!" my father screamed raising from his chair, "Yes. Sir" i said a bit more firmly, eyes still glassed over. 

I continued washing the dishes in the burning water, wincing every so often under my breathe. 

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I woke up with my face fully wet, cheeks pink from crying. 

Hermione had decided to not move back into the room with me as i said i preferred having the isolation anyways which she seemed pretty understanding with. 

I turned to check the time and saw on my alarm clock that it was 5:00 am. 

Every day and every night will just be the same. 

I'd wake up (if i slept) get ready, go down for breakfast, eat food i don't want to eat, puke it back up, then go to classes all day while eating both lunches and dinners then puking that up too. Then I'd be forced to go down to Lupins room and have to speak to him against my will, go back to my own room and either not sleep or sleep and be brought back to there... 

A never ending cycle. 

I cant continue living the same day over and over again. 

Then at the summer break i have to go back there for real.. who knows what will happen. 

I cant do it anymore. 

I felt sick to my stomach, puke bubbling at the bottom of my throat, threatening to force its way up. 

I run over to my bathroom and the remains of anything i had leftover in my stomach rose up and emptied into the toilet. 

My eyes were watering and i grabbed some tissues to wipe my mouth then brought my hands up to my face and wiped my eyes. 

I don't know how long i was sitting on the floor of the bathroom but my legs started to go numb, so i stood up, wobbling slightly and went to sit on my bed, feet dangling off the side. 

I tried to steady my breathing as it hitched in my throat.. i repeated the same mantra to myself, over and over again, 'i cant live like this anymore'. 

There was a tingling sensation in my arm and my thigh. 

i used my finger to trace over the cuts on my upper leg over the top of my pajama pants. I then rolled up the sleeve of my arm and traced the cuts and mainly scars that where littered all over. 

I stopped wearing the bandage on my arm after the other day because non of the cuts were bleeding so there was no point. 

While still lightly grazing over the scars on my arm, i glanced over to my bedside table to look at the time. 

6:00 am.

I run my hands through my hair, let out a big Shakey breath and stood up from my bed. 

Knowing I'd need some kind of solace for today, i went over to my small bathroom, into the cabinet and took out the blade i had used previously then brought it over to my bag and put it into the small pocket. 'Just in case' i thought to myself.