I'll look after you *Remus lupin comfort fic

Keeping up the act

Lupin stayed true to his word and came back later that day.

"Greetings Abby." Lupin said as he walked through the doors of the infirmary and opening the curtain to the bed, "How are you now, i hope you are feeling a bit better then you did earlier today?" He sat down on the corner of the bed and re-drew the curtains around us.

Refusing to look up i just shrugged my shoulders in response.

Lupin just gave a small smile and took out the salve from his pocket. "Lets get this on your arm then shall we" he tried to reach over to my bandaged up arm but i withdrew and turned my head vaguely. "Abby. Please. Its important to keep your wounds clean" "just leave me alone" i mumbled in response, averting my gaze away from the older man. Lupin sighed, moved to the other side of the bed and sat down by my feet, placing the salve next to him. "I need you to trust me Abby, i mean no harm to you, i wish only for you to be well again." gaining no response he continued, "Just pass me your arm, all i wish to do is put the ointment on so that your arm can heal, please" he reached his hand out and attempted to meet my eyes.

Letting out a small sigh, i slowly look up from the spot i was staring at and met his gentle eye. I then sat up on the bed and offered my arm to the defense professor.

Lupin smiled once more and took the offered arm, then started undoing the bandages that were wrapped around the injury. He picked up the tub, unscrewed the lid, took a dollop of the lotion out of the tub and began lightly applying it to the injured arm.

I winced at the touch, gripping my nails into the palm of my hand. Lupin caught this and moved his hand slightly away from my arm, "I know it may hurt but just know that this will produce a positive result and you will make a full recovery, physically." After this was said, he continued putting the lotion on, replaced the lid on the healing remedy and redressed my arm.

He put the salve back in his pocket and clasped his hands together in front of him, still looking at me.

"Can i go to my room now then?" I push a strand of my hair behind my ear, out of my face. Lupin tilts his head slightly and smiles, "i thought we might talk first" "there's nothing to talk about" "really Abby, i feel as though the events of today might be something that we should talk about, do you not?" I stay rigid were I'm sitting and look up at him "not really no, I'm tired and i would just like to go to sleep, am i prohibited to do that or am i being made to stay here, confined to this bed" i said, a bit more firmly then intended, but the message got across just the same and Remus sighed and stood up from the bed. "Alright then, you may go to your room, if that is what you would like but- " he paused slightly but continued "-but we must talk about this at some point Abby, you mustn't keep it all in, i can help if you tell me what has been troubling you." At his last comment, i got up from the bed, grabbed my belongings and began to walk out of the infirmary. "Remember Abby, be in my room at half 6 tomorrow so i can apply your salve, you can also have your evening meal in my room as well if you prefer, if not i will expect to see you in the hall eating your meals. Breakfast, lunch and evening meals." I didn't stop walking and just gave a small nod while leaving through the doors and heading towards the Gryffindor common rooms.

I was walking quickly, heading straight to my bedroom before a voice called my name, stopping me in my tracks. I turned around and saw Hermione speedily walking towards me.

"Hey, Abby.." Hermione stopped in front of me. "oh, hi 'mione, what's up." I desperately wanted to get to my bedroom but i couldn't just walk away while Hermione is trying to start a conversation with me. "I heard rumors that you were in the in the hospital wing all day and when i didn't see you at lunch or dinner, i begun to worry" "Why? she raised her eyebrows slightly. "what?" she said stunned "why. Why were you worried. we aren't friends anymore, you've made that much clear, so why were you worried." She was taken aback, mouth slightly dropped open, eyes wide. "Listen Hermione, I've had a super long day, i just need some sleep." i said sighing "oh.. okay then, night.." and at that i walked up the stairs and into my bedroom, then locked the doors.

I dropped down onto my bed, exhausted from the days events. Even though i had been confined to a bed all day, i have never been this tired. It feels as though all the life has been sucked out of me, i felt weaker then i ever had before.

Without even thinking about the nightmares that would occur if i drifted off to sleep, my eyes began to become heavy and i suddenly fell into a deep sleep.

"GET BACK DOWN HERE!!" The stomping from the stairs and his loud, bellowing voice could be heard all throughout the house. "I DID NOT SAY THAT YOU COULD GO TO YOUR ROOM" Belt in hand, he charged up the stairs, across the small landing and began to pound on the door. "I WILL NOT ASK YOU AGAIN ABBY, GET OUT OF THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW"

My heartbeat could be heard blaring from my chest, like it was about to explode.

I could feel a fresh bruise ready to appear on my left eye, the top of my arm had a harsh mark of a belt against it.

"THATS IT, I HAVE ENOUGH OF YOUR INSOLENCE" He had started to break down the door now. The hinges of it barely hanging on. I rush from the corner of my bed to inside my wardrobe and shut the door. My breathing was heaving and deep, rattling the depths of my throat.

A loud smash was heard and in he came, marching across the room, taking big, hefty strides around the room. "WHERE ARE YOU GIRL! COME OUT THIS INSTANCE"

My breathing hitched and i put my hand over my mouth, trying not to make a sound.

Everything became silent. I thought he was gone. I thought about it, then slowly opened the wardrobe door, seeing nothing. I opened the door further and began stepping out of the wardrobe when i was suddenly met with a sharp strap whacking against the side of my body. Tumbling backwards slightly, i turned to see my father standing over me, belt to his side.

I could smell the alcohol leaking off him like a disease.

I saw the belt raise once more and i put both my arms up to shield myself from the next blow coming down on me...

I woke up screaming. I had screamed so much, my throat had become hoarse.

My face was wet from crying.

My hands were trembling so much, i couldn't even hold my wand properly.

"Lumos" i breathed, i brough my legs round from my bed and my feet touched the cold floor. I shakily walked over to the bathroom, holding onto anything i could around me to support myself so that i didn't fall. Cupping my hands together, i turned the tap on, filled my hands with water and splashed the water in my face while running my hands through my hair.

I sat down onto the bathroom floor and sighed, rubbing my wet hands on the pajama pants.

I looked at the bandage on my arm and then pressed down but it didn't hurt as much as cutting would. The healing lotion must be doing its job.

I stood up and walked over to my bathroom cabinet then opened it. Searching the shelves, i found the interchangeable blades i had for my razor at the back of the third shelf.

Picking up the blade with my trembling hand, i turned it over in my fingers.

Lupin would most likely be checking my arm now. 

Without giving it a second thought, i sat back down, pulled down my pajama pants revealing my bare thighs to the light of my wand. I carefully ran the blade along my pale, scare free thigh and blood started to bead. I ran two more at the same force and released a sigh of relief, putting my head back against the wall of the bathroom.

After a minute or so, i stood back up, reached for the new bandages in the cabinet, put the blade away and then wrapped it around my thigh before pulling up the pant leg and walking over to my bookcase.

Picking up a new book and placing my finished one back on the shelf, i then creeped over to my warm bed and slithered under the duvet.

'A picture of Dorian Gray'.

I spent the rest of the night reading.

Hi! This is a short chapter today!!!

I am trying to update more regularly so stay tuned.

Thank you for reading, leave a comment to let me know what you think of the story so far!!

(1599 words)