August
"I'm not going to Yale" diere says not looking her mom directly in the eye like there's no debating it. Athena's eyes go wide and I can just feel something shatter inside her. I can't help but wonder if this is all my fault.
"What are you talking about you e wanted to go to Yale since you were 10" she says shaking her head in disbelief.
"No mom you've wanted me to go to Yale" diere says shaking her head. I look over to dieres dad and his head is in his hands rubbing the temples of his forehead like he could explode at any moment.
"Oh so your saying I pushed it on you?" She laughs hysterically her voice raising by the octave.
"Yes that's exactly what I'm saying." I can't even bring myself to say anything so I'm grateful when diesel speaks up.
"Let's not argue at the dinner table" diesel speaks up and no one acknowledges him but me.
"So you expect me to belive august has nothing to do with you changing your mind" she rolls her eyes and I wonder if there's some truth to what she's saying. I didn't think I was effecting her decision but maybe I am. I can feel my thoughts race and I can't focus on anything anyone is saying.
"If diere wanted to go to Yale I wouldn't stop her" I try to speak up but it comes out as a whisper and no one's listens instead they just keep attacking each other. I fiddle with my rings trying to get my hands to stop shaking.
"You can't blame him for everything" diere says but my fingers are still buzzing. I try not to gather any attention towards myself.
"Well we never argued until-"
"I said no arguing at the table" diesel yells this time and I can almost hear him over the white noise that's blaring in my ear.
"I'm not hungry. Thank you for the meal"
"Diere sit down and finish your food"
"I want you to go back with august and pack your things your coming home"
"Diere I'm tired of this bull shit. We're a family and we're gonna act like one. Understand?"
"Yes"she looks over at me and I can tell by the worry on her face that she knows. "I'm not hungry anymore I'll go pack now" she grabs my arm and leads me outside opening the driver side and sitting me down facing her.
"August what's wrong" she says I try to regulate my breathing so that I can get the words out.
"I'm ruining everything" my voice sounds hoarse and my chest feels tight. I feel like I can't breathe.
"August baby your the best thing that's ever happened to me."Diere places her hands on either side of my face. I can't focus on her because my vision is blurred"I need you to breathe."
"I can't" I try to but I feel like there's a weight on my chest.
"Yes you can. Look at me august." I can barely make out the words she's saying over the sound of my heartbeat .
"Diere what's wrong with august?" I hear someone say as an arm connects with mind.
"He's having a panic attack. He wont listen to me."
"August raise your arms over your head." I do what she says raising my arm so it's adjacent to my head. Athena grabs my hand bringing it up and down over my head.
"Keep doing it. Concentrate on your breathing okay." She lets go of my hand and I continue doing what she says. Focusing on the task even though I don't understand the point. I do it because I trust her.
"Good job. You're gonna get through this okay." She says I slowly regain my vision and my heart rate slows down. I see diere standing behind Athena watching me with tears in her eyes. It breaks my heart.
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