August
When I wake up, she's gone, and I'm on Ray's couch. And this place is a mess. There's empty pill bottles and medicine scattered all over. Does he realize I'm not sick? Then I realized I didn't get the chance to talk to Diere. I call her 25 times, and they all go to automatic voicemail.
"Oh, your finally up, that's good," Ray says, stepping out of his room looking like a hobo. He grabs the milk out of the fridge and coco puffs, pouring two bowls for the both of us. "Your late for school, by the way."
"What the hell, why didn't you wake me up? What the fuck happened yesterday? Did you see Diere?" I ask because it comes out more rushed than I meant it to, and I can feel my hands start to buzz.
"Yeah, kid, I did. You fucked up, man, and I might've told her about Charlie. She left you a note, by the way. Devastating stuff." I throw a pillow from the couch at him. I pick up the note he's talking about, giving it a quick read. There's no way we're just done now.I picked up my phone. I have 5 missed calls from Angel and 2 from Lucas. I groan dramatically, grabbing some random clothes and putting them on.
Calling Angel back, the line rings for a second, and I don't think she's going to pick up.
You dickhead!
I know, I know I messed up
Yeah, you dipshit. Diere got into a fight with that skank you kissed!
What the hell is she okay?!?
Yeah she's fine it's Charlie you should be worried about; she wiped the floor with that girl
What happened?
What do you think? Get your ass to school.
Before I can even answer, she hangs up. I don't even have time to process before I'm in the car heading to school. Once I get there, I storm to the principal's office, and I see her slumped in the seat with a book in her hand. She looks fine, except for a scratch on her face. I walk over to her, grabbing her head in my hand.
"Are you okay?!?" I ask, moving her head from side to side, looking for any bruises. She pulls her head from my hands, giving me a cold look that causes me to shiver.
"Don't touch me," she spits out her soft but harsh voice, making me flinch. I've never seen her this mad. I do what she says, placing my hands on my sides.
"I'm sorry, I was just worried. Can you please tell me what happened?" She gives me a one-over before sighing, never once looking me in the eyes.
"She was being a bitch and kept talking about how she seduced you and saying some racist shit," Diere says, rolling her eyes.
"You didn't have to do that."
"I know, but it wasn't just for you. I needed to stick up for myself for once.
I'm tired, August. I'm tired of your racist parents I'm tired of your jealous ex. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough for you," she says. Tears stain her eyes. I can barely stop myself from reaching up and wiping away the tear she let fall. I hate myself for making her feel like this.
"But you are good enough. You're more than good enough. I'm the one that doesn't deserve you, not the other way around." I say, not even caring about the desperation in my voice.
"Ahem. Excuse me, as heartbreaking as this is, we aren't in a rom-com, Mr. Montgomery. This is a principal's office, and Ms. Moore is in a lot of trouble, and you've missed three classes already. You should be on your way." The principal says, stepping out of his office, pointing his hand toward the seat next to his desk, motioning for Diere to sit down. She stands up, grabbing her bag and her book, and walks toward the office. I grab her hand.
"Please, can we talk?" I ask. Diere looks at her shoes, chewing on her bottom lip. A tell that she's about to start crying.
"You should go to class" she says, simply walking into the room, the principal closing the door behind him. I walk to my classroom, avoiding everyone. How can I make it up to her? I can't lose her.
"Dipshit!" a high-pitched voice yells down the hallway. I look up to see Angel. I don't know if I can handle her right now.
"Angel, can we do this another time?" I try to get around her, but she keeps blocking me.
"No, what the hell? Why were you locking lips with some racist cunt?" she yells, and everyone turns their attention to us. I start to fidget with my rings. I looked around for somewhere to escape, but the hallways were crowded. Lucas grabs Angel and slings his arm over my shoulder, leading us to the library.
"I told you to calm down before you talk to him," Lucas says. He looks sober for once but also really tired. Angel just scoffs, letting go of his hand and crossing hers over her chest.
"Are you good, man?"
"No, she dosent wanna be with me anymore" I say, looking down at the ground so no one can see my watery eyes. I lost the only one who really loved me. "I messed up badly, and I don't know how to fix it."
"Come here, man," Lucas says, giving me a hug that almost makes me break down. "Everything's going to work out she'll forgive you. Just give her time." I look over to Angel, and she has a guilty look on her face. I give her a small smile as a sign of surrender, and she gives me one back. Removing myself from the hug, I back away from Lucas.
"We should probably get to class." I said I was disconnecting myself from Lucas and walking to class without saying goodbye. Once Lucas and Angel are in class, I head to my spot in the old stairwell, wondering how I'm going to fix this. I can't believe I let myself get that drunk. How could I get her to forgive me? I get a text on my phone, and I grab it, hoping it's her.
Ray: I forgot to tell you, but Diere got you a gift; it's on the counter. I hope you guys make up.
The disappointment on my face is hard to hide, and against my better judgment, I decide to just skip school all together. Once I'm near the front office, I look through the window of the principal's office just to see her one more time. And there she is, sitting down on an office chair, typing away on her phone. She looks tired and sad, and almost as if she could feel me staring, she turns toward me, looking out the window back at me. I just freeze as we lock eyes. She turns back towards her phone, ignoring my existence, and I walk out the front door to my car. I slam the door behind me hard enough to break the glass. Then I just sit there in silence. I can't focus on one thought, so I just think about them all. Somehow I got to Ray's apartment in one piece. I zoned out half way through the drive. I click the elevator button to go up, anxiously waiting for it to come down, but it takes too long. I need to see what she got me. if there's maybe still a chance for us. I look around, wondering how long this is going to take. When I see the stairwell, I don't hesitate to run to the door. Once I reach the stairs, I look up at the seemingly never-ending stairs. I take it one step at a time, but quickly gain pace, running at top speed all the way to the 30th floor. Almost collapsing when I reach Ray's apartment. But I don't stop. I run to the kitchen where Ray said Dieres gift was ripping it open. I am desperate to see what it says. What could have been if I didn't get shitfaced? What would have been if I never went to that stupid fucking party? what should have been. us still together
Dear August,
I've never felt this way about anyone before
The way your green eyes capture the light perfectly, always gleaming when they meet mine, makes my heart flutter
The way you comfort me, console me, and listen to everything I say with such intensity
My knees go weak every time you kiss me or tell me I'm beautiful, even though you've done them a thousand times
I can't resist the trance you have me in, and I don't want to
I love the way you make me laugh
I love the way you make me feel wanted and desired
I love the little dimples on your cheeks when you smile
I love the way you treat my family like your own
I love how artistic and talented you are
I love your contagious laugh
I love you, and I hope you have the best birthday
Xoxo,diere
She loves me. I reread the words over and over and over. She loves me, and I love her. I run back down the stairs with only one thing on my mind. I hope it's not too late to tell her.
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