the team doctor || bucky barnes

53.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜱᴏɴɢ: ʜᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴᴇ - ʟᴀɴʏ

~

THIS WAS VALERIE'S LEAST FAVORITE PART OF HER JOB RECENTLY. 

Tony must've been out to get her. Technically, Nick Fury gave these orders, but Tony enforced them. She was to watch Bucky train and assess his cognitive ability to fight for the next mission. As if she had a single clue what was going on cognitively. 

What it really was, was Bucky training shirtless and her being forced to watch. He didn't even pretend to be ecstatic about it, either. She swore he trained harder when she showed up. She jotted down some notes as she watched him spar with Sam once again. She cursed how she watched every move his body made like her life depended on it. She tried to justify it by the mere fact this was all sprung on her so quickly. She spent weeks mourning their relationship, now she spent even more weeks mourning the betrayal he had caused. 

It didn't get easier with time at all. And it was supposed to, wasn't it? She wasn't sure she'd ever be over him judging by how hard she fell in the first place. Why couldn't falling be in slow motion? To her, it felt like she fell from the Empire State Building and landed on the pavement with a crack. 

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" She heard. 

Valerie turned to see Wanda. "Oh, you know. The usual brooding." 

"I thought that was Bucky's thing," She took a seat. "How are you doing?"

"Truthfully? Terrible." 

"He's really sorry, you know." 

Valerie gaped jokingly. "Whose side are you on?" 

"Yours, always. I just...can understand wanting to protect those I love from harsh realities. It's completely selfish. But it comes from a really good place," 

Valerie turned her head back towards Bucky, who was laughing with Steve. For a split moment, she pretended none of this happened. They never went on a mission and he was never captured.  She was Bucky's girlfriend, or maybe in this reality they didn't feel the need to arbitrarily label it, but they belonged to each other. She was watching him train because she didn't want to spend a  second apart from him. He would laugh with his best friend and glance at her like he always did when he was happy. Like he wanted to share his happiness with her. She'd smile back. 

But that wasn't this reality. In this reality, he laughed with Steve while she watched with no choice but to resent his happiness. Of course, she knew he wasn't truly happy. He was only stealing a simple moment that contributed to the larger facade that Bucky was okay at all. 

"I hear you, Wanda," She sadly smiled. "I just can't help how I feel,"

"Of course you can't. And how you feel is completely okay. I just mean try to see it from his perspective is all." 

"How's the eval, Doc?" Tony came into the breakroom, energy drink in hand. 

"Everything seems fi--"

As if by cosmic irony, she was cut off by shouting. All three of their heads snapped up toward the glass where they saw Bucky pushing Steve. Because of the proofing of the room, they couldn't hear much sound, but it was obvious something was brewing. 

And Valerie had the faintest clue what it could be about. 

She was the first one out of the room, pushing through the swinging door with force to enter the training room. Tony and Wanda followed closely behind, and the others had begun to gather.