Regret with Love

Chapter-2

I stand at the top of the cliff, I see the rocks and tall tress down but I can't feel any fear or panic .

If it was another time than I will surely feel nauseous but now iam void of any emotion or feelings ,  iam feeling like a dead rode in the plant full of thorns.

If I die now than there is no one to shed tears for me ,no one is there to miss me. Iam nothing in this world . I close my eyes and ready myself to jump but abruptly someone grab me and that is unexpected ,

slowly I open my eyes there stand a lady whose eyes drenched with motherly love and care. She drag me to the safest place and here iam without any tantrums follow her like a  lost puppy following it's owner .

  The pain on my cheeks makes me to realize that she slap me that too very hard.  Why she is slaping me do I did anything wrong for her too. I search any familiarity on her face but there is none
"maam why are you slaping me and what wrong did I done to you?"

After the sentence I can't bring myself to say anything I feels like I want to cry very badly but there is no tears left in my eyes but when I see this lady's face I feel like I want to hug her and pour all my heart to her I feel motherly love from this stranger.

Before days how much I long for motherly love but unfortunately she left me after showing me this world. Even if she lives to this day she will surely hate me like my father do, like Anna  says iam really a unfortunate person.

  The lady wipe my tears with her shawl and hug me ,now my self control become thin and as a consequence I cry ,

I weep for my loss ,I weep for loosing my Asher ,I weep for breaking his heart ,I weep for my family, I weep for myself. But I feel like Iam drained, black dots dance in front of my eyes ,the dizziness I felt before overtakes me ,slowly I allow the darkness to consume me

  I try to open my eyes but it is very hard for me to open it I hear voices "when will she wake up daisy"

who is this voice belong to and another voice answered it

"Maam her eyes are fluttering probably she will wake with in a minute"I think this voice belong to daisy.

This time when I try to open my eye it opened easily. I carefully gaze my surrounding there is a vase with full of lavender , i feels like i want  to smell it and inhale it's beautiful odor inside my heart, my lips curved unknowingly.

When I uplift my eyes I see the old lady who I met before. She has a dark eyes , her face is decorated with slight wrinkles, her hair is white which indicate her old age.

I see the girl in her mid twenties she is beautiful and indeed both of their faces are filled with care for me. I try to sit up but when they see my struggle the girl helps me to sit up. I thanked her.

The old lady comes near and occupy the chair near the bed. For one second her eyes linger on my wedding ring "Are you married girl?"

I don't know what I need to say how  badly i wanted to remove this ring but I can't make myself to do that my vision get blurry with my own tears but I stop myself from weeping ,slowly I raise my head and nodded

"Why do you try to commit suicide young lady and especially who are you to  kill yourself  when God is the owner of you"

Now I don't know what I  need to answer so I remain  patient , when she mention God almighty I felt ashamed of myself , she is correct I have God who is ready to helps so instead of going to him for help I try to commit suicide how stupid of me.

"Thank you for saving me and reminding me about how ungrateful iam to God, iam grateful for your help"
I try to stand up to go but the the lady's wrinkled hand stops me I feel  authority aura around her. She signaled me to sit down and to my surprise I obeyed her

" Where are you going young lady?"

"Thank you madam for helping me and I don't want to burden you"

"And may I know who informed you about you being a burden to me"

What is her problem why she is questioning me like a teacher now, I really get irritated with this lady's questioning session

" Young lady I know you get irritated by my questions but iam not sorry for that
And by God's grace you get another life so now I want to ask you this question  Do you continue living or try to play another joke with your life?"

"I don't know madam I have no aim in this life I lost everything "

"Young lady there is nothing called aim no one in this world is born with a aim each one of us here are creating our own aim based on our capabilities and running towards it with all our might,

May be for now you don't have any aim but in future you will find the aim .God doesn't created us to live for others he ask us to live this life for him.

Humans do mistakes and there is no one in this world who doesn't commit any sin, each and everyone of us are bound to do sins.

You know young lady our mistakes are forgiven by God ,he is all forgiving but we humans aren't ready to forgive them especially we aren't ready  to forgive ourselves.

Firmly hold the rope of faith in God he will not forsaken you my dear. If you live for God you will find a reason  to live but if you live for others at onepoint in life you will loose the reason and colour of life"

The lady's advice is indeed filled with truth and wisdom ,once I live for my family but now I loose them, as well I also loose the reason to live.

God is the one who created me and uplift me till this day, even if the humans are blind to see the reason the God will surely sees it ,Now I found the reason to continue my life I want to live this life for God.

With the smiling face now I replay to the lady" Thank you maam now I found the reason to live I will continue this life for God "The old lady caress my head with full of care and love but next news I get from her turn my life upside down

" Young lady you are pregnent" What she is saying am I pregnent oh god what is this

"You know why I didn't inform this news intially because if I inform this news at the beginning you will surely continue the life for the kids in your belly at somepoint in life the kids will grown up they can't always stay with you they need to have the life of their own and at that point you will indeed loose the interest in life"

  "Yes you are right and why are you mentioning" kids " is it a twins?"

"Yes"

Oh god now I don't know what I need to do, Iam going to be the mother for two kids.

I want to inform this news to someone ,I want share this to  Asher , I want to hug my father and inform him about the arrival of new adorable members in our family, but I can't do anything ,I lost the privilege to do that when I choose this method . Indeed I didn't regret choosing this method not now not ever.

Even if I inform Asher about this news ,is he in the mentality to believe me ? I have no answer for this question myself . Old lady slowly wipe my tears and hug me by caressing my hair ,I like her very much.

I will handle this , I will handle my babies and provide them everything I have . New motherly courage flowed inside me and gives me the strength to move on.