Today has already been a failure. I easily skipped breakfast and A lunch, but I failed to skip B lunch. This was a huge failure on my part. I feel so guilty. I went to purge but for some reason nothing came up. I'll have to try again in a few minutes. Welp, trying again held no results. It was completely pointless. Why did I have to eat? Now I feel like shit for it. I could really use a hit right now. I'm still waiting for my vapes to ship. Maybe I got scammed. IDK. I really hope they show up though.
The girl that sits at my table is known to hang out with the druggie kids, but i dont want to ask if she has a vape, I don't want her to flip out.
Update:
The girl didn't have a vape on her anyways.
...
I got home about thirty minutes ago. Today would've been a great day for my vapes to come in. Everything played out the way I would like it to the day they actually come, but knowing my luck, it wont go so well.
once i got settled at home, I told my dad I had to do homework. Instead I'm here writing this. After a few minutes my dad called me back upstairs for something. I was hungry. I saw some bread on the counter and I just took it. Afterwards I purged it of course. I still feel guilty though.
In other news, I signed up to be a part of a strict group for anorexics. they'll for sure keep my on track. There is a set of requirements to join, and they have you take a survey to see if you fit those requirements. I fit most and was less than required for a few. Thats okay though. I'll have somebody to train me so I end up fitting those requirements.
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My journal
RandomWarning: This journal contains dark topics about eating disorders, self harm, drugs (nicotine, weed), and suicidal thoughts. This is my personal vent journal. Its not that interesting, but you can read it if you want. give advice or whatever. its...
