Today was a failure early on. I had a piece of bread. But once I finished it, I went back and had another. 'M losing control. What do I do? I can't purge because I'm at school and there's always someone in the bathroom. I've gone to Reddit Twitter Tumbler Whatsapp and more to try and find a strict group chat to keep me on track, but so far I've only seen small groups that don't care. I just want to be skinny, like Maya.
I'm thinking about going down to the counselors and spilling everything. It's too heavy to carry alone, but I know if I say something, they'll force me to get help, and that's the last thing I want. It's the last thing I need to get fatter. Then again, as I said a few days ago, I'm technically at a healthy weight. So they won't make me gain. And they'll hopefully just let me lose. As for my family, they care but not to the extent they need to. It's not their fault though. They can't change a person who doesn't want to change. They can't help a person who doesn't need help. I don't want help. I'm happy.. Enough, anyway.
Although, if I keep eating the way I am, all of this effort will be pointless. Over 200 cals of bread this morning. Thats ridiculous. I have to skip lunch today.
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My journal
Ngẫu nhiênWarning: This journal contains dark topics about eating disorders, self harm, drugs (nicotine, weed), and suicidal thoughts. This is my personal vent journal. Its not that interesting, but you can read it if you want. give advice or whatever. its...
