A Business Deal [MxM]

Chapter 18: Dhruv

I whimper in pain when I open my eyes. My existence plagues me, and my reality bogs me down. I try to speak, but the only thing that escapes my mouth is a short moan of pain. It wakes up Mayank who strides towards me. He looks at me with tears in his eyes. I smile wearily, reassuring him.

"I don't know what got into me at that moment to have taken a step as grave as that, but before I knew it, I had done it. I screamed in pain, which brought Mayank to my room. He had just been out for less than five minutes. I was drunk, you know. The past few days had been especially tough on me. I had lost all desire to live. Maybe I had some, but then, I don't know.", I tell the policemen who have been waiting to get a statement from me. Like all other times, I know this case would be sealed without further investigation. "I have nobody to blame. It's just me and my internal world that is falling apart." I reassure them, hoping to reassure myself in the process.

The policemen leave, and Mayank keeps standing by my side. "You didn't tell anyone, right?", I ask him.

He shakes his head. "Nobody in your family knows."

"It means somebody does."

"I informed Palak. She told him. They are on their way here."

I look away, tearing up. "I don't want to be embarrassed in front of him. I don't want him to think that I was so desperate to get him back that I did this. I don't want this to be called a trick to have him.", I tell Mayank. In him, there's comfort, and an assurance that no matter what I do or say, I wouldn't be judged. There are too many to condescend and condemn, but a select few who would understand.

"We can't do anything now. He'll come.", Mayank says.

The thought of his return hurts more than I anticipated. For once, I wish for him to be removed from my sight. I don't want to see his face or hear his voice. "When can we go back home? I don't want to stay here any longer." My words do not waver Mayank. He has a rather stern look that tells me we aren't leaving anytime soon.

Around noon, I have visitors. Vansh enters, looking haggard and shaken. He staggers towards me, guilt being the only expression on his face. I never wanted him to feel this way due to me. He sinks in the chair beside me. I look away. There is silence for a while with nothing but the monitors beeping, telling me that I am still well alive. I should have died; it would have been better than a shameful life like mine. Death never became my ultimate escape. There is no escape. His hand slowly covers mine. He holds my hand. A flood of warmth gushes over me. This is what I sought. I face him. There's no avoiding him now.

"I am sorry.", he says, his voice barely more than an audible whisper. I don't need his apologies.

"Is that all you can say?"

"I- I. It is all my fault. It's because I couldn't..."

"Yes. You couldn't. It is your fault."

He goes silent and stares at me in disbelief. He gulps and looks away, letting go of my hand. He needed assurance, someone to tell him that it couldn't be helped. I am not giving that to him.

"You are a scaredy-cat. You are helpless. I took all those insults my entire life, fucked around with numerous men who were willing to give me their all, only to remain fixated on this one guy who can't stand up for anyone. You know what? Even if I blame you right now, I am to blame the most for believing that you had the courage to stand up for us. So now, leave, and be happy with your fiancée. I...", I take a deep breath, "I don't want you here anymore."

He tears up and starts sobbing uncontrollably. This is not what I had imagined. He holds my hand with both of his hands and brings his face to it. His tears trickle down my palm, making it all wet. Maybe, I was a bit too rude. I take a deep breath.